Quixotic_Dancer Posted January 12, 2004 Posted January 12, 2004 So, as I posted before, I met a new guy on New Year's Eve...only hours, as it turned out, after he'd been dumped by his girlfriend of many years. We have seen each other socially twice since then, as part of a group, and there was no awkwardness. However, my attraction to him continues to grow by leaps and bounds. When I last saw him, I thought he might be showing attentiveness that went beyond mere friendliness. Everytime I turned around, he seemed to appear by my side and strike up a conversation. Then, in an added twist, I have now joined a journaling blog, and he and my other new friends are on it. (Boy, that thing is even more addictive than LoveShack!) He's replied to several of my posts, and I thought he might even be flirting with me. On one of my posts, I included a capsule review of a new film I'd seen, Big Fish ( I thought it was uneven). This guy loved that film, and he challenged me on my conclusions (this is all via blog). I wrote several paragraphs defending my point, and he replied, "Well done. I just hate it when people don't give any reasons for not liking things. 'Because' is not an answer in my book. All I wanted was a reason. You defended yourself wonderfully. Thanks for the time you spent putting that together." Oh, my, was I thrilled when I read that reply--I must have looked at it 30 times that day. Anyway, I decided I wanted to act. I need to know if there's any chance of something developing between us. I have a date with another guy on friday, someone from a dating site. We haven't met, but we exchanged a couple of emails and talked on the phone. He's intriguing as well, but if there's any chance of something happening with my New Year's guy...well, that's where my heart lies, and I don't want to lead the other guy on. So, I sent him (the New Year's guy) an email today. Here's what it said: ...I was wondering if you might like to meet for lunch some afternoon. Or, perhaps a drink after work might be easier. We can have further debates about Big Fish. I should warn you, however, that I can't always muster up a good argument during conversation and, instead, will have to resort to throwing things at you. Peanuts, I find, are always good. Um, I was going for levity...I hope I succeeded. I know what I'm risking here. If his ex contacts him soon, he'll probably be back together with her almost instantly. He may not even know how he feels about me--what seems like real interest, even to him, could just be a profound need for support, comfort, and confidence-boosting. I may well become only the Rebound Girl. But I can't be cautious. I know myself. If he's up for it, I want something to happen, and as soon as he's ready for it. Or, perhaps, like many guys, he would have preferred to make the first move. I guess I'll find out.
Thinkalot Posted January 12, 2004 Posted January 12, 2004 Good on you for making a move. I asked my partner out and he loved it. The fact he has just come out of a longterm relationship however, does seem to suggest some caution is needed here, and taking things slow (if he wants them to go anywhere with you). He will need time to heal and you don't want to be hurt as the rebound girl. Either way, you have not made a mistake...at the very least you may come out of it with a great new friend to chat to, or hang out with. And he will be flattered by the attention I'm sure, even if he is not ready to date. Just wait and see and play it by ear, and if he wants to see you, be cautious, given his relationship breakup.
DesertDweller Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 I've made the first move a few times in my life and it always worked out nicely. Don't worry about being the Rebound Girl--he may have clay feet in the end.
Outcast Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 She posted this last year and has not posted for months.
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