Confused_Chump Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Hey everyone, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted here. I am currently confused with how I am feeling towards my ex and I was hoping to get some feedback from everyone. I first initiated NC 6 months ago because she started seeing someone else after our break up and it was too hard for me to watch since I still had feelings for her. She has since broken up with the guy. It was my intention to be friends with her again after I heal because we have great chemistry and she is a great person. I recently felt that I was ready to take the first step towards starting up our friendship again, so we had our first catch up session a few days back. It was a real positive experience and we talked about a lot of things, including her break up and her current crushes. I am now trying to analyze whether I am truly ready to maintain a steady friendship with her or do I need to head back into NC for awhile longer. Below is a summary of how I am currently feeling. - I no longer feel that tightness/pain in the chest area when I think about her. - I’ve accepted the fact that there will be no chance of reconciliation between us in terms of a romantic relationship. - I extremely enjoy her company because we have these amazing conversations that I don’t experience with anyone else. This worries me because I have to remind myself every time that this won't be something that we can continue doing once we have SOs. I question whether or not I'll be able to handle it when that day comes. - I felt awful and sad for her when I found out her heart was broken by the guy she was dating. - I didn’t feel any pain/jealousy when we discussed her current crushes. Instead, I was ecstatic about the prospect of her finding someone that will make her happy, especially after her last heart break. - I still think she is an attractive looking girl, but I don’t have any sexual desires towards her. - I still think about her and wonder what she is up to from time to time. (This worries me a little) - I still miss her at times. (This worries me a little) From the list, I can see that I am on the right track when it comes to letting go of her. But I am confused whether my feelings for her are completely platonic. What is everyone else’s opinion on this?
ADF Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Six months can be enough time (though a year would better). However, be sure you want to reconnect with this woman for right reasons. In my experience, men almost never go out of their way to befriend women unless they're attracted to them. Almost never. I hope you're not harboring some secret hope that your friendship will rekindle your romace with the ex. If you are, you will not only end up driving yourself crazy, but driving her crazy, too. Good luck.
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 ONLY if you could care less who your ex is dating and you have no diabolical plans to get her back. Too many exes want to stay friends in order to refresh the relationship. Be friends only for friendship's sake.
USMCHokie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 ONLY if you could care less who your ex is dating and you have no diabolical plans to get her back. Too many exes want to stay friends in order to refresh the relationship. Be friends only for friendship's sake. This is why I could never be friends with my ex...because I know deep down inside I'll always be hoping for more...
sadheart2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 you could give it a try...do what you feel is right instead of listening to people ...in case it will work out fine-you will be satisfied...if not u tried at least
Pfiend101 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I say no. Just leave it as is. You say you have no feelings for her but I bet you start hanging out with her that they will come right back. NC. No games, no BS.
mrkleen Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am friends with several of my Ex's...but you are still too close to this at this point. Give it some more time, and if after another 3 to 6 months you are still not completely over her....then you know you wont ever be able to really be friends. There is no shame in not being able to be friends with someone you used to care for. Sometimes you just cant get past seeing them with someone else or thinking of them with someone else. If that is the case, only cutting them out 100% forever will do the trick.
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