drewdude Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 hello LS, this mite be a little long but i could use some insight/help First of all I just wanna say ive been with my gf for almost 5 months now. Things have been going great up until this semester that started around febuary. She has quite a number of classes and is always at college from a little before noon till 10pm..she works there as well. Its pretty stressful for her as she has been telling me and shes usually very tired/exhausted when I sometimes see her for a bit on campus or go to see her for a few hours at night when shes home. Now don't get me wrong, I do want her to succeed in her studies and all but lately I just feel i'm not getting back what I put in. This past week, she didnt txt me as much or told me she loves me like she usually does... Especially last night, I really wanted to spend the remainder of st pattys day with her after we were both done with classes we have. When I saw her yesterday on campus for a little bit she said she wasnt going to do anything later on in the night. I told her I wanted to do something but assumed she didnt want to because she said and she was and looked very tired. So i get a txt from her later in the night saying she was going to hang out with her girl friend she often gives rides home and asked If i found anything to do. And I did since a little before that txt, my good friend called me and wanted to have some beers. Assuming she didnt want to hang out, I took him up on his offer and told her about it and extended the invite... I sent her a txt saying how much I wanted to spend st pattys day with her but she said sorry and that her girl friend invited her over for a bit when she was taking her home(which is about 30 mins away from where i was at), so they went to grab some beers..so I had no choice but to let it be...She did txt me though when she got home saying gnite and that she loved me... I just dont know what to make of this? should I stick with this? I do love her but sometimes I start to wonder if she still wants me or is avoiding me for some reason...or am I just starting to get needy? What also got to me was the fact that this weekend on saturday after she gets off work(the most time i have with her lately has been on saturday evening/nights and all sunday) shes going to her same friends house to prepare for crafts/bake sale and most likely spend the night to help set up for it the next morning..... Would appreciate any input from you people here at LS..thank you
mrkleen Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I don’t care how busy she is – if she WANTED to make time for you, she would. I would start being a bit vague about what you are up to and let her pursue you a bit…you have got to flip the balance of power back in your direction if you have any chance here. Just drift away for a bit….stop answering every text and phone call….let her go to bed without talking to you a few times…and then gage her reaction to that. If she can do this without freaking out, they you two are probably on the way out. If she comes back in a day or two and says she misses you and wants to know what’s up – THEN you can lay it all out for her. There is nothing wrong with a person being too busy to have a relationship….but then they should be single. Sounds like your girl wants the best of both worlds. Wants to do whatever she wants when she wants to – and on a slow day, she has you to lean on and make her feel good etc. You deserve better to be honest.
Author drewdude Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 As far as being vague, I actually just considered that today...she did txt me this morning to see how my class went. I plan on playing silent for a while to see if she texts me...But Idk. I do remember her telling me a week before class started that this was going to be a busy semester for her and she wouldnt be seeing me a lot. And couple weeks back she thanked me for putting up with her....and said any free time she had was for me. It just seems lately that she doesnt...anyone other insight out there?
CLC2008 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 hello LS, this mite be a little long but i could use some insight/help First of all I just wanna say ive been with my gf for almost 5 months now. Things have been going great up until this semester that started around febuary. She has quite a number of classes and is always at college from a little before noon till 10pm..she works there as well. Its pretty stressful for her as she has been telling me and shes usually very tired/exhausted when I sometimes see her for a bit on campus or go to see her for a few hours at night when shes home. Now don't get me wrong, I do want her to succeed in her studies and all but lately I just feel i'm not getting back what I put in. This past week, she didnt txt me as much or told me she loves me like she usually does... Especially last night, I really wanted to spend the remainder of st pattys day with her after we were both done with classes we have. When I saw her yesterday on campus for a little bit she said she wasnt going to do anything later on in the night. I told her I wanted to do something but assumed she didnt want to because she said and she was and looked very tired. So i get a txt from her later in the night saying she was going to hang out with her girl friend she often gives rides home and asked If i found anything to do. And I did since a little before that txt, my good friend called me and wanted to have some beers. Assuming she didnt want to hang out, I took him up on his offer and told her about it and extended the invite... I sent her a txt saying how much I wanted to spend st pattys day with her but she said sorry and that her girl friend invited her over for a bit when she was taking her home(which is about 30 mins away from where i was at), so they went to grab some beers..so I had no choice but to let it be...She did txt me though when she got home saying gnite and that she loved me... I just dont know what to make of this? should I stick with this? I do love her but sometimes I start to wonder if she still wants me or is avoiding me for some reason...or am I just starting to get needy? What also got to me was the fact that this weekend on saturday after she gets off work(the most time i have with her lately has been on saturday evening/nights and all sunday) shes going to her same friends house to prepare for crafts/bake sale and most likely spend the night to help set up for it the next morning..... Would appreciate any input from you people here at LS..thank you Wanting to spend time with your gf doesn't make you unreasonable. Wanting to spend every day with her + calls + texts + ILY's every day - is... And I don't know how often you see each other but if it's been weeks or months, then yes, I can see why you would start to feel insecure over it, I know I would.
Ms. Joolie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 ... lately I just feel i'm not getting back what I put in. You have to communicate this to her. Talk to her about her busy schedule and come up with what you would want to see going forward. Give her an idea of how often you'd like to see her, what you'd like to do. See if she is willing to work with you on this. If she doesn't listen, doesn't want to work things out, then there's all you need right there. But I think you just need to have this conversation with her. She may not know you feel this way. Also, you have to really work with her when it comes to extending the invitation to see her. She has a busy life, and while she needs to be available enough to see you, it also sounds as if you need to be extending more of an invitation on your part. Kinda sounds like you wait too long to invite a busy girl over, and guess what? She makes other plans.
Author drewdude Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Also, you have to really work with her when it comes to extending the invitation to see her. She has a busy life, and while she needs to be available enough to see you, it also sounds as if you need to be extending more of an invitation on your part. Kinda sounds like you wait too long to invite a busy girl over, and guess what? She makes other plans. I must say I have to agree...I just dont want to come off as needy and wasnt sure of my plans earlier that day and thought she was just gonna go home and knock out as usual from a busy night. I also agree cuz there are times where I want her to tell me to come over because I dont want her to get bored of me. She has told me before that she likes to hear it from me and that it doesnt bother her because she doesnt see me much...Its something I know i need to work on..
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