NeptunedN Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 On the idea that there are no mistakes in life only lessons, I'm hoping to move past the hate and hurt of the past relationship. I'm sad it's over, learning to forgive/move past the hurt/anger/betrayel, but glad it happened because I learned a lot about myself. Let's try staying positive so we can heal and learn from these painful experiences and move on For me: despite hurting me, I realize it wasn't his intention. I learned that I had to open up and put myself out there if I wanted to find authentic and meaningful intimacy. And yes, i DID get hurt, but I will heal and grow stronger. It was great while it lastest.
Woggle Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Underneath all the insanity I feel that deep down she is a woman who is deeply hurting and doesn't know anything but self destruction.
Weird Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I'd say the majority of people learn (well, at least the "dumpees") that no matter how much trust and faith you can put in someone it doesn't mean they won't let you down. Other than that and on a personal level I learnt that you HAVE to have great communication and to never take for granted that things are copacetic because the other person isn't saying anything to state otherwise. I think by nature people will try and avoid any and all conflict (or I suppose making others feel down) so they will keep things inside even if expressing them would make things better.
threebyfate Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Had it not been for all my exes, I wouldn't have met my H!
Rearden Metal Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I learned that I'm a hell of a lot more tolerant that I previously believed. And also confirmed that I am not a commitment phobic person.
Chitowngirl Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 (edited) I got my coffee table refinished. lol! I got a great purse and wallet that I love! Seriously though, I learned to get the f out at the first sign of abuse in any form. Hence why last relationship was only 4 months. First sign and I bolted. Edited March 18, 2010 by Chitowngirl
Toki Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 She had a laugh/smile/personality that would brighten the cloudiest day.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 My ex left me with a much more broad knowledge of, and appreciation of jazz and blues.
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I have learned what I will and won't tolerate. When I was a teenager dating, I LOVED bad boys. They treated me like dog turd and I wouldn't give them up without a fight. Now, I know I am better than that and deserve to be loved and love with the same kindness, honesty and trust.
hopesndreams Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I appreciate a good pint. Without his knowledge on the subject, I'd be none the wiser.
just1guy Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 My breakup taught me that I can't be that guy that goes down with the ship anymore. I should just bail out early, instead of staying and fighting for the relationship to work, when she's not going to be 100% into it.
blind_otter Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 My ex gave me my son. For that I will be eternally grateful.
spriggig Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 At the beginning, she taught me that I was worthy of being truly loved, which I had only suspected up til then as no other woman has ever seemed to love me so completely. In the middle I learned patience and paternal and financial responsibility from our son and the daily drudgery that is ordinary life. Now, I've learned that sucked as a husband, seriously. I sucked really hard, but I have admitted that and apologized to her and forgiven myself. I have also worked hard to educate myself on how to be a better mate in the future.
justaguy123 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I have learned from her what love is and that I deserve it. I have also found out from her how to be more confident in myself and that I cannot use other people as someone to lean on and expect them to solve my problems for me. I found out what I really want from life and what kind a person I want to be and what kind of person I want to be with. All these things I have learned not only from our relationship but also from our breakup. Now all I have to do is keep on putting them into practice and I know I will be ok.
wheream_i Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 She had a laugh/smile/personality that would brighten the cloudiest day. Very nice. I like that one. I would have to say the same about my ex. Also, she taught me how to eat healthy and how important it is.
now_what Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I don't think I took away anything positive other than I am a lot stronger and self-sufficient than I thought I was. Mostly though, I learned that no matter how long you are with someone (over 30 years) and how well you thought you knew them, they can still stick a knife in your back and twist hard.
twinklecat Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Mine taught me that I can't lean on someone else to do everything for me, also that you can never know what the other will do, so I no longer walk around with Rose tinted glasses on, it's okay to tell people I have problems, it does not mean I am a failure asking for help. He taught me what a real relationship was, and how childish I often was, something I will never repeat. Last thing he's taught me I need to put myself first more.
quankanne Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 that a man worthy of "being" with you is the guy who takes responsibility for protection. He didn't squawk about wearing condoms or insist that I handled the birth control in our relationship – he made sure he did his part to keep me from getting pregnant. Learned the hard way that not all men are this diligent ...
Eisenhower Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I learned that I have to hold out for the kind of girl I know I want, not just try to make a relationship worked because of phsycial attraction. What I thought would be a fun experience with a girl I immediately recognized didn't have a lot of, shall we say "class," turned into a year and a half relationship that ultimately tore my heart to shreds and haunts me still, a year later. I have vowed to myself to never again let physical attraction sweet talk me into doing something I know I shouldn't do. And NEVER again with a coworker.
annxxdisaster Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 (edited) The courage to face my issues and problems from my past instead of getting into another relationship to pretend everything is o.k. One of my ex-boyfriends showed me that I am capable of loving another person and that hot rods are pretty awesome. And how a mature person ends a relationship. Another showed me everything I didn't want in a partner. My most recent ex showed me that going real fast on a motorcycle is really exhilarating, how an immature person ends a relationships,and how it feels to (at one point) be cherished. Edited March 19, 2010 by annxxdisaster
nobmagnet Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Lowly taught me lots. I bend over to be kicked in the A** to make someone happy I always put myself last I expect nothing I have a ridiculus ability to work 20 hours a day to make someone happy only knowing it will never be good enough when emotionally they have left. I have learnt one of the best lessons of all actually..........Being alone, just you, your family and freinds is actually fantastic. one more thing...........spilling the equivilent of 3 pints in two yesrs of wine on you laptop doesnt completely break it!!:p Nobby xx
Hurtbunny Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 made me realise how strong I am - and that he was wrong that I would never be 'happy'
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