rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 What the hell is the difference? My bf and I are together always everyday. He has been gone for 3 days and I'm thinking something must be wrong, but he is visiting family as he should and needs to. But I'm here thinking that he is doubting our relationship. How do I know if he is or he's just having some alone time? Also he is not contacting me much although I do know where he is. I just feel bad like he is doubting "us" I hear everyone say "go with your gut". That's my gut. I have been dissed so many times!! Then I'm like should I act like I care or cared? When I see him should I play cool? Like I didn't even think of him? or worry? Like I am worrying to you all?!!!
deux ex machina Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Don't get upset. Why not just talk to him? Be direct. I'm sure you've shared a lot of things in the past -- so why not give him a chance, see what he has to say?
boogieboy Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Its insecurity and paranoia. Youre not smoking are you? Youre creating all this in your head because youre afraid he will leave you when you tell him you used to be a lesbian.
Author rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Yea maybe everything will be ok once he's back, but now I feel as if he doesn't like me. Xanax!! j/k. Plus I screwed up plans. I planned something for this weekend that interferes with previous plans we had made! I'm screwed. I will talk to him. I'm way more paranoid if I do smoke, which I never do, I have but long time ago. Maybe I'd be more secure if I was married?
Author rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Also I feel as if he just forgets about me when he is gone. He has not talked to me since yesterday morning. He knew I was a little scared about sleeping alone last night, although I ended up having company (friend), but he didn't think to call? ok well thanks!
Ms. Joolie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Why don't you call him? Skeered? hehe. jk. Call to say hi, call to tell him you missed him..... keep it light and see where he's at. sheesh.
Ms. Joolie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 should I tell him how I feel? Not if you're feeling insecure and paranoid. Yeah, that's not attractive.
Author rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Should i ask him if everything is ok? Tell him that I wondered y he didn't call? Or just forget it all and deal with it myself? Any advice?
2sunny Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 see a counselor. you need to work through your feelings of deep insecurity. you have stated that he hasn't done anything to make you suspicious. yet, he can't even go a day without calling you with you being in fear... that isn't balanced. find a counselor who can help you with this. any insecurities you put on him without solid evidence is likely to make him run away, fast!
A O Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 see a counselor. you need to work through your feelings of deep insecurity. Exactly. See a therapist. .
Author rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 I don't know if that's the answer!!
2sunny Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I don't know if that's the answer!! yes it is - if he has given you no evidence to show that you should be worrying - then this issue lies within YOU. that is only something YOU can work on. get counseling.
Author rebeccajones Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 I c what u r saying. I also don't feel that he wants me with him 24/7 but it's ok for him to go for days and not call when he knows I'm a little scared alone.
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 rebecca, whatever you do when he gets back, don't bombard him with asking if he still wants to be with you or not. I haven't read anything that should feel into your anxiety. It is extremely healthy for couples to take a break from one another. It doesn't matter how long you have been with a person at all, at the end of the day, you are an individual and should have interests and activities accordingly. Of course love and share when you are together but take some time apart to spend time with your friends, family and other interests. NO ONE should be in anybody's space 24/7. Just relax and when he comes back, take note of his behavior. If you sense something out of the ordinary, then you can address your concerns. Insecurity kills relationships.
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