Marek Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Over the past three weeks at college, I was in the process of becoming acquainted with a young woman who's in many of my classes. It hasn't been serious; we had a few coffees at the campus' café, had some good conversations, and had a few laughs. We have established a bit of rapport. And at times our conversations seemed a little flirtatious, at least to me. However, today we got a guy in our class who transfered. That's not the problem, though. This guy is your typical "pretty boy" with jet-black hair and captivating blue eyes, but that's not the problem either. The problem is as soon as this guy sat next to the girl I've been trying to court for the past three weeks, she immediately demoted me the rank of a "nobody". She openly flirted with this guy right before me. For example, she giggled like a highschool girl at his corny jokes, twirled her hair, and accentuated her already prominent breasts by yawning and pushing her chest out at him. And when I talked to her, all I got was short replies and no eye contact. It wasn't like this before. I couldn't believe it. But perhaps I'm getting angry over nothing. I mean, we're not even friends. I don't even have her number. And we've only hung out at college. I suppose it just bugs me that I thought I had a chance with this girl, but now that Mr Pretty Boy has her swooned (apparently) she won't even look me in the eye when I'm speaking to her. Would you guys say anything to her? Or am I just being oversensitive? Thanks!
marsle85 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 You can't blame her. You never asked her out and waited too long. A good looking guy strolls in and sits next to her? You demoted yourself to a nobody/friend. Not her. Now's the time to jump on it- ask her out... before he does.
Author Marek Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 I didn't think three weeks was too long. Asking for a number too soon just looks desperate. Besides, just yesterday we we're getting on fine. Only when pretty boy arrived today did I get snubbed. Anyway, she wasn't even looking at me today. I can't do anything now. This guy has her hook, line and sinker.
Bejita463 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I didn't think three weeks was too long. Asking for a number too soon just looks desperate. Apparently it was. Asking for a phone number instantaneously is what looks desperate. You can get a number without seeming creepy way, way faster than 3 weeks man. Waiting that long, if you were really interested, was a mistake. I can't do anything now. This guy has her hook, line and sinker. Sounds like she gave you your chance, and decided you weren't planning on taking it, and is now giving the other guy a chance.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Agree with the others. You should have made a move faster. She might have been into you but since you never made a move thought you didn't consider her seriously. Now you won't know. As for the level of attractiveness of this guy, I am going to guess this woman is pretty attractive herself. So getting mad at women being attracted to other men is stupid.
Author Marek Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Even if Marsle, Bejita and Jersey are correct by saying I should have made a move sooner, it doesn't excuse her insolence in class. Even if she developed interest in this other guy the very moment he stepped into the classroom, and thereby lost interest in me, she could of at least still had the courtesy to look me in the eye when I spoke to her. That was just plain rude. If she rejects me for some pretty boy, that's fine; but she could still at least acknowledge me.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Yes Marek, she should have been a human being enough to acknowledge someone she has been talking to for a few weeks. However, the only person that demoted you was you. She just showed her true colors. Sit next to other girls, talk to other girls in your class. I am betting this woman in your class is very attractive and is probably the main reason you went after her and now your upset because the "she so pretty girl" turned out to be not as pretty on the inside. You guys do this to yourselves all the time and that is why there are girls like her that exist. That is, if the situation is how you described and she really snubbed you and ignored you even though you had been talking for a few weeks.
silic0ntoad Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Let's be honest. You found her hot, and felt some type of interest from her end. You talked to her for about three weeks, without asking for a number, then you get angry when a stud walks in and gets all her attention? Granted, she may have not given you the number if you had asked, who knows, but lesson learned; man up, and ask for it. Three weeks? Dude I don't chill with a girl for more then three hours without getting a number, and it's got nothing to do with desperation; I don't go to school, and I don't date in my circle of friends, so when I see someone out, I ask for their number after speaking with them, seeing if anything is there. It's not desperation, it's bravado. So next time, ask. Maybe not right away, maybe not in a day, but definately in two days.
Author Marek Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 I am betting this woman in your class is very attractive and is probably the main reason you went after her Yes, she is very attractive. And on top of that, she's similar too me: quiet, soft-spoken and polite (well at least she was). Sit next to other girls, talk to other girls in your class. I'd like to do this, but there seems to be an unwritten law of priority on seats in my classes; that is, every lesson everyone sits in the exact same seats.
mrkleen Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Who cares really. You have no skin in the game as they say, so either way is fine. If you want to ask her out….do it soon. If you don’t, just start ignoring her like she is doing to you.
boogieboy Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Even if Marsle, Bejita and Jersey are correct by saying I should have made a move sooner, it doesn't excuse her insolence in class. Even if she developed interest in this other guy the very moment he stepped into the classroom, and thereby lost interest in me, she could of at least still had the courtesy to look me in the eye when I spoke to her. That was just plain rude. If she rejects me for some pretty boy, that's fine; but she could still at least acknowledge me. Shes not insolent. She doesnt owe you any acknowledgement when you were not man enough to make the moves. Thats how she sees you. Its your fault entirely. She is clearly showing you that since the new guy comes along, that she lost interest in you 2 weeks ago...instead of telling you to go away. You finally got the hint when she wouldnt look you in the eye, and she she flirted with this new guy in front of you. Guess what, do you think he is being desperate when he asks her for her number within an hour of talking to her? Would you think she was desperate when they go eat lunch and she GIVES him her number? You have to make your good impression, be interesting, and ask her for her number on the first day...invite her for coffee. if she says no, shes not interested. You have to find this out on the first day so you dont get attached to someone who isnt into you, like you did this time. Be prepared to take the loss.
Els Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 So.... What would YOU do if you were talking to a very plain, overweight girl - and all of a sudden your perfect 10 bombshell comes and sits next to you? Based on your previous posts, I think I know the answer.
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 So.... What would YOU do if you were talking to a very plain, overweight girl - and all of a sudden your perfect 10 bombshell comes and sits next to you? Based on your previous posts, I think I know the answer. WOW. That is food for thought. Be glad that you two weren't actually dating and she jumped ship like that. It would prove she has no tact. Next time you meet a nice girl in class that you're interested in, ease into making a lunch date you're having into a dinner date and so forth. See where she stands and if she is not interested...no loss, no foul.
threebyfate Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Her perspective on Twitter: Feb. 26, 2010: I think I made a new friend today. Mar. 7, 2010: I did make a new friend, the other day. He's easy and fun to talk to. We went for coffee today and shared some laughs. I enjoy hanging out with him, as a friend. Mar. 18, 2010: WOW! Met a HAWTY in class today! But my friend was acting strange, like he was mad at me or something. It felt weird.
boogieboy Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Her perspective on Twitter: Feb. 26, 2010: I think I made a new friend today. Mar. 7, 2010: I did make a new friend, the other day. He's easy and fun to talk to. We went for coffee today and shared some laughs. I enjoy hanging out with him, as a friend. Mar. 18, 2010: WOW! Met a HAWTY in class today! But my friend was acting strange, like he was mad at me or something. It felt weird. You misquoted her twitter! Mar. 18, 2010: WOW! Met a HAWTY in class today! We went for lunch after class, he asked for my number, were going out this weekend! But my friend was acting strange, like he was mad at me or something. It felt weird.
stillafool Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Yes Marek, she should have been a human being enough to acknowledge someone she has been talking to for a few weeks. However, the only person that demoted you was you. She just showed her true colors. Sit next to other girls, talk to other girls in your class. I am betting this woman in your class is very attractive and is probably the main reason you went after her and now your upset because the "she so pretty girl" turned out to be not as pretty on the inside. You guys do this to yourselves all the time and that is why there are girls like her that exist. That is, if the situation is how you described and she really snubbed you and ignored you even though you had been talking for a few weeks. Exactly Marek. She is a pretty girl, right? She isn't doing anything that a guy wouldn't do if he were in her position. Find another girl.
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