belledujour Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I have a boyfriend and lots of people I hang out with, but for just chilling at home I'm usually with my three best friends. However, lately one of them is just acting strange. It started about 1 year ago, when it just seemed like she didn't want anything to do with us. We went from going places to strictly seeing each other only for holidays or spring/summer break. It just kept getting worse and worse, and when her other friends were busy I guess she got lonely because she started hanging out with my friends and I again. Lately, however, she hasn't been talking to me at all really. I mean if I say something to her she responds and such, and she's not mad at me or anything. If we ask her to go anywhere she'll say yes, but if someone from her college that she deems "cooler than us" asks to go to the same place she'll just totally ditch us for them at the drop of a hat. She seems to feel the need to gloat about her new friends. "I'm having so much fun with these people, tonight we're going here and it's gonna be so much fun, we're going to your favorite place" and refuses to invite anyone but her 'cooler' friends. So yeah, I get that she's moved on and thinks people are cooler than us but what the heck is going on here? Is this all for attention or what? Lately she's only been talking to me if she wants something or needs to vent/wants advice. I've been a little annoyed and have been feeling used so I haven't been responding. Overall she hasn’t been a good friend, just gloats about how cool her new friends are, and sometimes she'll put me down. My bf says she's using me to feel better about herself. I really don't want to burn bridges, but I can’t take it anymore. How do I handle this? What should I do?
bubbles5 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Your bf is quite right she is using u n if she is saying that she finds it cool to hang out with other frnds than you that clearly states that she only needs you when your frnd is in trouble. I would also suggest you to observe for a while abt her behaviour towards you.Some ppl change after sometime or may b she is just the same. Be bias n see all her reactions to any of your offering like hanging out together.One more thing u ask help frm ur frnd for any damn thing like any problem similar she has gone through n u have helped,, Just see how she reacts? All I am trying to say does she care the same way as u do? If she does your doubts would b clear n if she is not caring 4 u n always underestimates u , its better to leave believe me u will feel bad but atleast u wont suffocate like this.. After sometime u will feel better. Only if she is using,, Good luck
Author belledujour Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 I stopped contacting her and haven't heard from her in about 2 months... well she finally called the other day and left a voice mail saying that she was calling because she had some "free time" before a meeting at work. (So she was bored basically.) I dunno anymore...
RedCherries Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I also agree with your bf that she is using you. People change and friends grow apart. Do you find her friendship worth saving? If so, I would suggest a sit down talk (this is my solution for all friend problems!) You can explain what she's been doing and how it hurts/annoys you. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing because she's so caught up in being with her "cool" friends. Once someone knocks her out of her bubble, she may change. If you don't find the friendship worth saving (and it seems like SHE doesn't), then chalk it up to you guys having gone your separate ways and just cherish the memories, as cheesy as that sounds. I have a few friends like that, whether they became immature and I couldn't stand it or we just sort of drifted apart. There are a few I want to be friends with again but timing isn't right, I guess. Her behavior is annoying and rude, for sure. To me honestly, it doesn't sound like I'd want to be friends with her again. She's proven her disloyalty to you, but that's just how I feel. Hope things work out for the best!
Author belledujour Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Do you find her friendship worth saving? If so, I would suggest a sit down talk (this is my solution for all friend problems!) You can explain what she's been doing and how it hurts/annoys you. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing because she's so caught up in being with her "cool" friends. I have talked to her about how I feel- many times- and she apologized and was okay for a little bit, but then changed back to how she is acting now. Perhaps it is just time to move on.
Recommended Posts