Arabella Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 (edited) So this guy and and I broke up back in November. We loved each other and still do. We broke up because he began abusing drugs & alcohol, which combined with his mental disorders and the distance pretty much killed any chance at a relationship we had. We went NC for a while, but we've been talking since end of Jan. A few weeks ago, he spelled it out in no uncertain terms that he still loved me and wanted to work things out and get back together. But he does absolutely nothing. He won't talk to me on the phone. He barely even keeps in touch. When I called him on it, he asked for time because he's really stressed at the moment (he is bipolar and has a hard time dealing with stress...). As it turns out, he's moving back to his home state in a couple of months. I'm moving there myself at the beginning of June, for other reasons other than him. It would be the first time that we're actually able to see each other on a regular basis. We've been talking on and off about it for two months now, and nothing is happening. A couple days ago, I told him I was done with this BS. He didn't even respond to this. Haven't had any contact since... but that means nothing with him because he'll pop up some other time when I least expect it. It's what he does, and yes, it always drove me up the wall. He's still being flaky and unreliable as he always was... and I don't think I can deal with that again, but... the fact that we'll be in the same state in a couple of months is tugging at me hard Part of me kinda wants to wait to see what happens then... What to do? Any thoughts, ideas, etc? Arabella Edited March 18, 2010 by Arabella
2sunny Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 do not date until he's been clean and sober for 12 months - and has done all his step work. then and only then you MAY have a chance that he's in a healthy state of mind and moving in a direction to be capable of handling the demands that a relationship brings. he has a lot of work to do for himself and others if he intends to stay sober. it's hard, it takes time. any outside distractions won't leave room for him to get well. do not talk or deal with him for a long while. this will help his recovery and your chances of a healthy future if you do date towards the end of the year.
Author Arabella Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 (edited) Figured I'd post an update. I talked to him last night. 2sunny... you were more right than you know. Turns out, he's been constantly stoned over the past few weeks, disappearing from his house without telling his parents for days and nights. He just came back after four days. They were worried to death thinking he'd gotten hurt or gotten arrested (again). Last night he kept saying that he has no reason to straighten himself out now that he's lost me... that he may as well OD and all sorts of horrible things. I love him, and want to be with him, but he's in no way, shape or form capable of handling a relationship. He's barely hanging by a thread and I don't know what to do. He once said that I was his anchor, but he's never let me help him and still doesn't. Arabella Edited March 23, 2010 by Arabella
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