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When can I start talking sexually with the girl I am dating?


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Posted

I have been dating this girl. 5 dates over for a month now. I want to turn our conversations a little intimate or open to make her think about being intimate with me. So far we have just been talking normally, no sex talk or intimate questions. I was thinking I would ask her if she likes boxers or briefs on a guy.

 

Or maybe point at something really big while driving and say a joke like, "hmm, that thing is almost as big as my pen*s". Help me steering conversation in that direction while making it fun, not awkward. I appreciate any ideas.

 

Yea, it is the same girl I mentioned in the other post. If we hangout again. I want it to proceed further. On fifth date at her place, we made out. it was midnight and she said, it is getting too late. so, it was indication for me to leave and I did not make any further move.

Posted

No rules for this. Practice practice practice. Fail, try again. Repeat.

Posted

You dont have to talk about intimacy, you just have to hint towards it with light physical touching. Keep in mind, its possible that if you havent physically flirted with her yet, she might have friendzoned you already after 5 dates of nothing.

Posted

In my experience, you don't usually talk about physical intimacy until a bit later in the relationship. Rather, you know how to proceed based on her physical responses to you.

 

So, if you want to be more intimate, then be more intimate and see how she responds. For instance, you said you made out with her. I usually know it's time to get more physical when the girl starts to moan or breath heavily, starts to squeeze me, or (especially) bites my lower lip. Of course, there's a ton more signs that she's enjoying the physicality and wants it to go further.

 

Just increase the seriousness slowly. The next time you make out, kiss her neck for a while or squeeze her thigh. If that goes well then take it further the following session. I promise that this is a better idea than making jokes about your dick.

Posted

I don't talk about sex with a girl Im dating until we've had sex.

 

 

And please... Don't point at something big and say "that's almost as big as my penis!" Trust me on this.

Posted

jack, you're a sock puppet nice guy, so you should know what not to do. If you feel you shouldn't do it, then of course, do it.

Posted

And please... Don't point at something big and say "that's almost as big as my penis!" Trust me on this.

 

Very true.

 

One of the best ways is to start inquiring about what sort of things intrigue HER. As opposed to talking about sex from YOUR perspective, say things that might be enticing or ask leading questions.

 

For example, if you happen to see a bird feather on the ground, you could pick it up and tease her with it inquiring, "what makes you tingle?"

Posted

Or maybe point at something really big while driving and say a joke like, "hmm, that thing is almost as big as my pen*s". Help me steering conversation in that direction while making it fun, not awkward. I appreciate any ideas.

 

Classic example of how men and women do NOT find the same things funny. To me, that is just crude and COMPLETELY awkward. Do not say this!!!

 

Just be aggressive, women like THAT. She's dating you for a reason, she doesn't think you're her brother.

Posted
Classic example of how men and women do NOT find the same things funny.

 

I don't think it is funny either. :p

 

I always go the other way, if I decide to make that sort of joke, personally. Thought I don't confine it to any specific audience. I have one of those huge old muscle cars. Occasionally, if the context is there, I will say with raised eyebrow that whoever would own such a car must be compensating for something.

 

Course, I wouldn't suggest saying something like that on a date either. There are times to use an immature sense of humor, and a date is not that time.

Posted

You need to show some confidence in this area – and do it soon. 5 months is a long time to have sex as a awkward subject.

 

I am big on flirting and being funny and playful at the beginning – and usually you can find out very early on what a person’s comfort level is with sex. Hell, my current GF and I were talking about sex (at a very cursory level) on our first date…and while we didn’t sleep together for 3 weeks….it was a part of all of our early interactions.

 

Unless you want to join the priesthood – or wait until marriage, you need to start to get it out there – slowly but surely. Take her temperature on the matter and if she doesn’t bite, at least you know she isn’t ready to go in that direction yet.

Posted

there is no time frame to have that talk. some guys can get away with it from day 1 with no negative repercussions, it all depends on how you two have been vibing up to this point. is she prudish? a bit risque? quiet with a devilish streak? a reformed saint"

 

her "type" is what you need to go by. does she get vulgar raunchy comedies? is she turned off by cursing in general? tell a story about an encounter with another chick and see how she reacts or if it'll make it easier, have a couple of friends of both sexes over and just talk about relationships, dating and sex in general. you'll pick up a lot on her views as well as how she reacts to things in and outside of her comfort zone.

Posted
You need to show some confidence in this area – and do it soon. 5 months is a long time to have sex as a awkward subject.

 

I am big on flirting and being funny and playful at the beginning – and usually you can find out very early on what a person’s comfort level is with sex. Hell, my current GF and I were talking about sex (at a very cursory level) on our first date…and while we didn’t sleep together for 3 weeks….it was a part of all of our early interactions.

 

Unless you want to join the priesthood – or wait until marriage, you need to start to get it out there – slowly but surely. Take her temperature on the matter and if she doesn’t bite, at least you know she isn’t ready to go in that direction yet.

I believe it was 5 dates in the period of one month, not 5 months. BUt in any case i think there are a couple of ways you can gauge each sexually at the early stages. Depends on what your doing on the dates, and if they allow for any subtle physciallity or are more formal. If your on a couch, try tickling her. If your making out again try and be direct but not too pushy by asking her what she likes..it could turn sexual and give you good insight, or if she doesnt tell you or show you where she is ticklish you could challenge her that you will find her spot . and then wink. lol.

While your making out or as a precursor you could offer her a massage and ask her while doing it if she wants you to go softer on her or harder and deeper. lol. innuendo can go a long way, but dont point at objects and refer to your size when your on a drive...thats not going to work well, maybe for a laugh.

Posted

Dude... Dont censor yourself at all. But do try to be the best "yourself" you can. If you think something is funny then do your best to sell it. Dates ARE the perfect time for immature and crude humor if that is what you find funny. If you arent yourself on your dates then you arent going to get to be with a person who really wants YOU. If you are just looking to bone then be whoever it is she is going to have sex with.

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