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Posted

My ex and I broke up in June of last year (2009). He broke up with me and never gave me a good reason why, but he had a lot of stress in his life as did I and we were long distance at the time. We spent so much time talking to each other when both of us had nothing going on in our lives that it just got excrutiatingly boring. He told me he was angry at himself for breaking up with me and hurting me, but that he needed to see if what we had was truely as special as he thought it was or if he could have it with someone else. This made NO sense to me at all and even though I know where he's coming it still doesn't. We're young (he was 18 ,now 19 and I was 19, now nearing 21) and a lot of people in his life are in serious relationships and getting married including his mother being pregnant so I think this put pressure on him and he panicked.

 

After trying too quickly to stay friends and constantly fighting and hurting each other feelings we did NC starting in July until the end of December. I had a short lived rebound relationship from September-November but I now just want to figure myself out.

 

Anyway it was me who contacted him. One of his friends occasionally chats with me and although I never once asked about my ex because it was upsetting to me, he brought him up one time and mentioned that he thought he missed me and he hasn't been the same guy since we broke up. I decided to send him a quick message asking how he was and everything but I didn't expect a reply. Well he replied, but only with about 4 words, "I'm fine...moving soon". There were a few messages sent back and forth like this one where he just gave brief, uninterested replies. From that, I decided that maybe he wasn't ready to talk and that I would just leave him alone.

 

After about a week of me doing NC, he sent me a message asking how I was. I replied and resumed NC again. However at least once a week I would get a message from him. Eventually we added each other on facebook where I didn't comment on his things and blocked him from my news feed. He began commenting on my things though and eventually chatting with me on there so we moved on to MSN. On Facebook I would occasionally comment on someting he did but this was rarely and I decided not to push him and if he wanted to talk then he would.

 

Well he talks to me almost every day on MSN now and although I am beginning to start some convos, it is almost always him. Hes always telling me things and sending me songs (love type songs since hes a pretty romantic guy) that he thinks I'll like. He did this all the time when we wre dating too.

 

We never talked about meeting up or anyting until last Sunday. I told him something that happened to me on the weekend that was upsetting and he told me that he wanted to really hurt the person who did that to me. He told me that he would always be there for me and then a few hours later suggested we meet up Monday. I was kind of shocked. He talks to me all the time but I didn't think he would suggest a meeting. Well we had the meeting and it went great. He gave me a bug hug in the beginning and from there we just talked and ate like old friends (not about the relationship at all). He suggested that we go to a movie with another friend of his sometime. I didn't feel sad that he didn't try to get me back or anything and I personally don't think I'm ready for another shot at our relationship yet, even though I wouldn't rule it out in the future.

 

I guess I'm just wondering what is to come from this? Do you think he still likes me or will come back in the future? I still have a lot of love and I care for him deeply even though I know we shouldn't be together right now. I know he cares about me too. I'm worried that I'll get too attached and that the fear of losing him will prevent me from doing some things I really want to do (like study abroad for a year). I know hes not interested in any girls right now(or he wouldn't be talking to me so much and wanting to meet up), but I don't think I'd be able to handle it if he did date someone else. Any advice? Oh and I know I'm young and there is plenty of ooportunity, but he and I went though some very difficult times together in our 1.5 year relationship; personal problems, financial problems, family problems, even sex problems so I feel like we know and understand each other incredibly well and have experienced and overcome things that we probably never will with anyone else. What do I do?

 

Thanks a lot and sorry for the length

Posted

He cares for u n also he feels for u.But due to ur mid life crisis with other things ur timings r going bad bcos of daily chores n reponsiblity, take it slow dont come to conclusion so fast.There is bound to b fights again n again in ur relation but that doesnt mean break up.secondly u have to be able to handle urself even if u dont make it with him. Focus on ur career more than ur bf if possible tell him that u r really want ur work to b done.

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