hearttobreak Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I have been seeing this girl for about a month and a half. About six or seven dates so far. Yes, we've had sex too. So, she calls me today and asked if I would like to have dinner at her home with her and her daughter. No pressure, but its open to you if you would like. Initially said I do not want to push it too fast on her daughter. The teenager is 13 yrs old. On the other hand, from date three on, sex was introduced. She always has a good time, so that is not an issue. Interestingly enough, last Tuesday and yesterday we met for coffee and consequentially, we had sex at the end; both times at her place. I also slept over her place on Friday, and she said I can sleep over this Friday too, if I wanted. No complaints, but again, I don't want her to think this is just based on sex. Seriously though, I do not want this to be based just on sex, and I do not want her to think of that in the back of her head either. So how do I do this? Other things I have done or offered outside of the sex: Cooked a nice meal for her at my place In the process of setting up a budget for her (she some help in optimizing her money) Went on a play date with her, her daughter and her daughters friend Saturday and we had a blast. Her daughter said to her that I was much better than her previous boyfriends. When she got gum in her hair from that play date, she told me and I came over with some olive oil and we got it out. We talk/text daily. I also make an effort to be interested in her hobbies and interests. We will be going to some cooking classes together. So, the two questions I have. Yes, I want to come over for dinner, but I think it will be a bit awkward with us three at the table. How to overcome that? Two, do you think I should pull back on the intimacy? Maybe not twice a week, but just once, like when we meet on Friday or Saturday? Dating a single mother is a bit tougher than dating a woman with no child. So I am trying to do this as best as possible.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Hold on for the ride! Once you get introduced to the kid, it's like the old "Mission to Mars" ride at Disneyland. And if you refuse, the sh*t will hit the fan. I don't envy you at all.
Author hearttobreak Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Not looking for envy, but thanks for the reply.
CLC2008 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I have been seeing this girl for about a month and a half. About six or seven dates so far. Yes, we've had sex too. So, she calls me today and asked if I would like to have dinner at her home with her and her daughter. No pressure, but its open to you if you would like. Initially said I do not want to push it too fast on her daughter. The teenager is 13 yrs old. On the other hand, from date three on, sex was introduced. She always has a good time, so that is not an issue. Interestingly enough, last Tuesday and yesterday we met for coffee and consequentially, we had sex at the end; both times at her place. I also slept over her place on Friday, and she said I can sleep over this Friday too, if I wanted. No complaints, but again, I don't want her to think this is just based on sex. Seriously though, I do not want this to be based just on sex, and I do not want her to think of that in the back of her head either. So how do I do this? Other things I have done or offered outside of the sex: Cooked a nice meal for her at my place In the process of setting up a budget for her (she some help in optimizing her money) Went on a play date with her, her daughter and her daughters friend Saturday and we had a blast. Her daughter said to her that I was much better than her previous boyfriends. When she got gum in her hair from that play date, she told me and I came over with some olive oil and we got it out. We talk/text daily. I also make an effort to be interested in her hobbies and interests. We will be going to some cooking classes together. So, the two questions I have. Yes, I want to come over for dinner, but I think it will be a bit awkward with us three at the table. How to overcome that? Two, do you think I should pull back on the intimacy? Maybe not twice a week, but just once, like when we meet on Friday or Saturday? Dating a single mother is a bit tougher than dating a woman with no child. So I am trying to do this as best as possible. Everything sounds really good here. So, I'm not sure why you want to pull back or decrease your time together for no particular reason. She won't think it's "just sex" if your time is spent with her in other ways such as what you mentioned.
Author hearttobreak Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 (edited) Wasn't sure. Whats the best way to slowly go into dinner with her and her daughter? Edited March 18, 2010 by hearttobreak
Art_Critic Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Roll with the punches and have fun... You are dating a woman with a child so it was inevitable that you would be part of the kids life at some point.. Kids are easy.. just have fun and don't sweat the dinner at all.. if you have an idea what the kid likes you could bring her something the first time you meet her.. as long as it isn't expensive but fitting.. I've been in your position before and I can tell you that if you don't be nervous that it will all work out.. kids are great.. If her Mom wants to introduce you at this time then just trust her that it is the right time.. Good Luck...
CLC2008 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Wasn't sure. Whats the best way to slowly go into dinner with her and her daughter? How about "would you and your daughter like to have dinner"....?
Author hearttobreak Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Not a bad idea. Will attempt to bring it up this weekend.
flc Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Recognize if you want to stay with her you are going to have to accept the daughter so asking them both out is great as both will appreciate the gesture in most cases, but with kids you never know. My GF has two daughters, 18,25 and a 23yo son. The daughters have been great the son is very protective. So when it is me and the girls we have a great time, when the son is along it is always a little strained. Eventually I expect he will get use to the idea but if not that is his issue. A cute story when I first met her it was at Starbucks. About 6mos after dating we found out the girls had done a drive by to scope me out Lucky I passed inspection.
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