Author Meadow Blue Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 You said you're not worried about him cheating but what about you? This is the rest of your life. Do you not think you'll ever run into a man that can really push your buttons? One that can provide all of these material things you seek out of marriage and make you want to jump him any time, any place? This is why marriages fail so often these days. People feel trapped by society and think that looking 'normal' will make the rest of their life fall into place. If you're not excited about this now, what makes you think it will change in the next 40+ years you two will be committed to each other? I appreciate what you're saying, and I understand that I'm an anonymous internet poster, and a new one at that, therefore you don't know me either. I am not worried about me cheating. I never have in the past, and I would certainly not do that to my husband. Again, I believe that marriage is a commitment, and regardless of lust it is to be honored. Honestly, I'm a little surprised that, having read my posts in this thread, you would think I might turn into a cheater.
livinlovin Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Meadow, I'm sure that leaving right now seems daunting. He is a friend of yours and so you are probably reasoning that this is good enough. I've been in this situation. In my opinion, finances alone are not enough to tie me to someone who I don't think loves me. Being in a relationship and feeling lonely is way worse than being alone and lonely, in my opinion.
stillafool Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 OP, you are only 29 and have a lot of life ahead of you. You deserve to spend your life with someone you love and knows he loves you and shows it. Marriage can be hard sometimes and you need that deep love to sustain you through those times.
gypsy_nicky Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 OP, your post is confusing. Are you saying you want to get married because what you truly want from marriage is something financial?
SomewhatExperienced Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 I'd like to say that you should ask yourself what is the root reason why you want to marry this man. You say it's for financial security, stability etc... but ultimately what I think you're saying, and what most people think, is that you want to maximize your happiness for the later part of your life. Being financial insecure certainly does not help people be happy, but I know plenty of people who are below the poverty line and are perfectly happy despite it. The question is do you really think your going to be happy if you have security and stability but you're married to a man you don't really love and doesn't really love you? Or would you be happier in debt but with a man who adores you and you adore back for the rest of your life? Of course, if you leave this guy you might fall madly in love with a rich man, but I'm just saying...
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