Cinderella7 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I've been dating this guy for about 6 weeks now and things are going wonderfully. I've lost track of the amount of times we've hung out. We normally see each other 3-4 times a week. We talk on the phone and text message daily. We've started meeting each others friends and he's mentioned bringing me to meet his family soon. However, he introduced me to his neighbor the other night as his "friend" and we haven't been intimate (we both decided we wanted to wait and not rush into anything). I really like this guy, and I would really like to know where we stand and if he thinks this has potential to turn into something serious. I don't want to rush into anything but at the same time I'm starting to fall for him and would appreciate the certainty of knowing my feelings are reciprocated. Do you think it's ok if I ask him how he feels? Or is it too soon? Is this something the guy should bring up? I've never been in this situation before and I'm a little confused as to how to proceed. FYI, he's in his late twenties and I'm in my early twenties.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I have no advice because I don't do those kinds of relationships. Can't wait to hear how it goes tho.
LovelyDaze Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I don't sense any red flags from what you have stated. I think him introducing you as a friend is because he isn't sure if you are comfortable being called a girlfriend...especially if you guys haven't been intimate. Try easing him into a conversation about how you guys are doing..relationship wise. Don't say, "we need to talk" it sounds too harsh and might scare him away. Just be easy and tread lightly and let him tell you what he is thinking without interruption.
marsle85 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Don't do anything! Your relationship is progressing naturally and with good timing-- he doesn't seem like he has a problem bringing you into his life... wait it out, he'll ask you. It's quite possible he's thinking the same thing. Wait it out!
homersheineken Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Don't do anything! Your relationship is progressing naturally and with good timing-- he doesn't seem like he has a problem bringing you into his life... wait it out, he'll ask you. It's quite possible he's thinking the same thing. Wait it out! I don't know, I always wait for the girl to bring up the subject
Author Cinderella7 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 I don't know, I always wait for the girl to bring up the subject Do most guys expect that the girl will bring it up at some point? I thought this was always something the guy should initiate. I'm really torn between waiting it out and bringing it up. I genuinely don't know what to do.
homersheineken Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Do most guys expect that the girl will bring it up at some point? I thought this was always something the guy should initiate. I'm really torn between waiting it out and bringing it up. I genuinely don't know what to do. I'm not sure on "most" guys - but that would be my guess. I don't do it because it may scare off the girl if she isn't ready.
marsle85 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Oh man- it'll never be me. Perhaps ask yourself who has been making the advances within the relationship and let that guide you. If he's been leading you, don't change the pace and vice versa.
georgia girl Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I agree - give it a little time. It's only been six weeks and even though it may seem like the greatest six weeks and you're ready for the next step, you want your relationship to progress naturally. Instead of stressing over "the talk" or even needing that assurance from him, enjoy where you are now and enjoy all the aspects of just casually dating. Perhaps in the near future, you'll find a moment when it feels right to ask and you'll feel comfortable doing so. Then, by all means, ask. But women have a habit of moving too quickly from phase to phase in a relationship. Instead, just enjoy the ride. Also, IMHO, the introduction to the neighbr "rocked." In guy speak, introducing a girl as your "friend" is tantamount to introducing you as a special person to him. Enjoy it. Savor it. Eventually, you'll be his girlfriend. And, then when he introduces you as that one day, you won't even notice (at least I didn't). Even now, when he introduces me as his fiancee, I don't notice that much. I was his friend first and I'll always be that.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 In the past, it's always been the guy who's asked me to be his girlfriend, but with the current BF, I was ready to take him off the market. (Why beat around the bush if I know that's what I want?) I sort of blurted out "I don't want to date anyone else" while sitting on the couch and snuggling. He brought it up again a few days later and asked if that made us bf/gf, I said "Sure! Why not!?!" The rest is history. I rarely follow all these bizarre dating rules everyone seems to have. My nature is to be very open, so a declaration like this was not out of character for me. The whole point of that is assess the relationship and do what you feel inclined to do. If it would be natural for you to bring it up, then do it. If not, sit tight and wait for him to do it.
stillafool Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I think it's too soon and I would definitely let him lead the way.
Author Cinderella7 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 I agree - give it a little time. It's only been six weeks and even though it may seem like the greatest six weeks and you're ready for the next step, you want your relationship to progress naturally. Instead of stressing over "the talk" or even needing that assurance from him, enjoy where you are now and enjoy all the aspects of just casually dating. Perhaps in the near future, you'll find a moment when it feels right to ask and you'll feel comfortable doing so. Then, by all means, ask. But women have a habit of moving too quickly from phase to phase in a relationship. Instead, just enjoy the ride. Also, IMHO, the introduction to the neighbr "rocked." In guy speak, introducing a girl as your "friend" is tantamount to introducing you as a special person to him. Enjoy it. Savor it. Eventually, you'll be his girlfriend. And, then when he introduces you as that one day, you won't even notice (at least I didn't). Even now, when he introduces me as his fiancee, I don't notice that much. I was his friend first and I'll always be that. This is great advice...thanks. I needed a little perspective.
Author Cinderella7 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Oh man- it'll never be me. Perhaps ask yourself who has been making the advances within the relationship and let that guide you. If he's been leading you, don't change the pace and vice versa. Yeah, he has been the one that's done 90% of the pursuing, and it's worked so far. It would feel weird to change the pace. I'm thinking about giving it another 2 weeks. I feel like after speaking with someone daily for 2 months and spending that much time together, you should know if that's someone you want to be with exclusively or not.
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