espec10001 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 So I'm 27 male, graduated school, doing the corporate gig now. My last relationship was 5 years ago, and it was very bad. So bad that I swore off dating or even romantic relationships for that time period. So really I haven't been on a real date in over 5 years. Now I'm a good looking, in shape guy with a decent job. I live with my family because my family helps me and I help them. In these 5 years I have learned a lot about myself and what I can do, but it had NOTHING to do with a romantic relationship. I guess it just takes some people to heal longer than others because my last relationship was so bad I had and still do have a very difficult time even asking a girl out because I don't want to go through the bad stuff again and I get afraid that it will happen again with any new girl. I'd like to get out and meet some girls to date; nothing serious, just have some fun. What would be the best place to meet some nice, easy going girls who would be understanding that I am REALLY rusty at this whole dating game?
Silver_star Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 theres not going to be some place to go that will make it super easy and relaxing for you. There isnt going to be a place that will cut the tension and anxiety down. But you could try easing into talking to women online dating sites. some are actually free. Plentyoffish.com for example. You dont have to meet up with anyone, no obligation, and you can in a way browse and read up on some girls that interest you and approach them to initiate conversation...this will prepare you. It is alot easier to reject someone online, and dont be discouraged if there are no responses from some. It would be good practice, in a way. Just a thought. Or if you are really brave you can meet girls anywhere, school, work, bars or pubs, social events concerts, at the dog park, at the gym, coffee shop...just have to have the guts to approach them or smile
Author espec10001 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 theres not going to be some place to go that will make it super easy and relaxing for you. There isnt going to be a place that will cut the tension and anxiety down. But you could try easing into talking to women online dating sites. some are actually free. Plentyoffish.com for example. You dont have to meet up with anyone, no obligation, and you can in a way browse and read up on some girls that interest you and approach them to initiate conversation...this will prepare you. It is alot easier to reject someone online, and dont be discouraged if there are no responses from some. It would be good practice, in a way. Just a thought. Or if you are really brave you can meet girls anywhere, school, work, bars or pubs, social events concerts, at the dog park, at the gym, coffee shop...just have to have the guts to approach them or smile Online dating is not for me. I would feel weird meeting someone on there. It just seems like out in public women don't want to be talked to or approached. I understand that it many times has nothing to do with me, and that she's gotta be in the right mood and it's gotta be at the right time, but man, how is a guy supposed to know when the right time is? It just seems like so many women these days they send out vibes that makes it seem like a simple hi and a smile is sexual harassment !
boogieboy Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 There is no right time or place to meet women except at mutual friend parties. So if youre out in public, you just have to get used to approaching them, and not worrying about what they think of you. if they reject you, you move on to the next. BTW, most women arent going to be understanding that youre rusty. They dont want to have to hold your hand through the process, you are supposed to know what youre doing, at least until you hook them. So fake it until you make it, and dont worry about what they think. Its easy to do. if youre planning on approaching women, you can Move in baby steps. First just get used to walking by women you want to meet and saying something to them that isnt "hi". ( you dont walk directly towards them, you talk to them as youre passing. Directly is creepy) Something interesting about whatever the situation is, or what they have with them. Dont worry about taking it past that. Say have a good day and keep it moving. Dont introduce yourself and dont ask personal questions until she does so. Once youre comfortable with that, you move onto carrying the conversation, being interesting, and practicing watching her behavior to make sure shes into you...possibly hinting to find out if she's involved. (know that many of them you will waste time with because they will be involved but wont say so...) Once your get here, you will know for sure if you should ask for the number.
Recommended Posts