Chochobong Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 My wife told me we needed a break and thought I might need to see other people. She kind of shrugged off the fact that she needed something else. Anyway, I confronted her about giggling like a school girl to some dude on the phone. Eventually she admitted that she was kind of emotionally connecting with someone else. This is all mainly due to faults of mine and things I truly want to change in my life and between us. She hasn't broken it off completely. She's going on a long girls only trip and wants that time to self-reflect on her life and see if she misses me. I have this guy's number but I have no desire to find out his name and what they've done together. My question is this, should I contact this other guy and tell him I'm going to fight for her? I watched the movie Fireproof and Kirk Cameron (the husband) told the other guy that he was going to fight for his wife and that he had an advantage of being married to her and knowing her longer. In the movie, the other guy was married and he backed off. But I could also see this working against me. Maybe this would invigorate the guy to try even harder to pursue my wife. Or maybe he would tell my wife that I contacted him and that alone would piss her off and turn her against me. Suggestions?
GorillaTheater Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I don't advise contacting the OM, I think the odds of it going the way you want are pretty slim. The real problem here is your wife. She's pretty obviously emotionally disconnected from you, and she'll view any efforts on your part to pursue or "reclaim" as weak and probably pathetic. Your only chance here is to detach. Be cool, calm, collected and confident (fake it until it comes more naturally). It's your best hope for emotional survival and probably the best way to save your marriage, although I have to admit the odds aren't good - once a woman disconnects emotionally it's usually for good. All this is counter-intuitive, I know, but it's your best shot. From now on, your primary mission is to look after yourself. Ask yourself this question on a regular basis: why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Recommended Posts