bananaboat11 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 (edited) Long story short... A really, really cute barista struck up a conversation with me late one evening while I was at Starbucks (yes, starbucks girl for those who read the last post) with a friend. She had seen me on campus (I am a grad TA for the class before hers)... I got to know very little about her, but since that night every time I see her, she always smiles etc... take the last two times I've gone in there and she'd be down he counter (away from the register)... she'd hear my voice and hear me order my 'signature' drink as it's known in THAT starbucks, she'll come over to say hello. Well, finally I picked up my testicles from the floor and asked her if I could call her sometime and she'd like to go out sometime. Again... long story short... got her phone #. When the time came I had time (free time, which is rare for me these days with grad school)... I asked her if she'd like to go out... well, she said she's "seeing someone", but would still love to go out for a drink with me. Really? You couldn't tell me THAT when you gave me your number??? .................................. On the other end of things... Birthday Party girl for those that remember... I had to facebook friend her.. even though she was sooooo adamant about fbing me. I said f it and did. She replied in kind to my friendship request. Good sign. We conversed back and forth and agreed to go out last friday night. All this time I don't see her... so I was trying to get her #... gave her mine. finally... I said to her, "great - sounds good. Call me about friday night since you have my # but I don't have yours...". Her reply, "Sounds good... here's my number XXX-XXX-XXXX, now you have it!" I call thurs night about fri... no response. I say w/e... I'll call tom. I call fri afternoon... no response. See her on fb chat... we talk and she apologizes that she's busy as a grad student... can't pick up. I understand.. I'm a grad student too. I tell her i'll call her later about that evening... heh So I do... no response again!!!! She texts me about 2 hours later... "Sorry! I was sleeping. Long day. Eating dinner now.. what's up?" I reply it's ok... and ask her bout her day and all those platonic niceties... heh she responds in kind and asks me the same. from there i proceed to engage about the evening's festivities... and she seems all for it. Kind of wish she called me back... or I should've called her, but I was kind of preoccupied when she did text me back... she's all for drinks that evening and some pool... and then whack!... she asks if her roommate can come. ok.... I agree, reluctantly. She says, "great! call you when my roomie gets out of work" ...great, right? nope. I get ready... 10:50PM... phone buzzes. Text from her. "Roomie is still not home from work... rain check for after spring break?" I'm being jerked around. I refuse to pursue either girl now. I NEVER had a problem getting women (even though I am a one woman man) before my most recent breakup. Being used as a rebound DESTROYED my self-confidence. I don't know... I am just not myself anymore. Even if it's been 4+ months... I kind of lost count. I don't even remember what my ex looks or sounds like. Still think about her though from time to time... but... wow. just wow. i've lost my footing. I'm not even using these women to try and rebound and move on from my ex... I am against rebounding. I'm trying to casually date again. I've already been on 2 successful dates with one girl... ugh Edited March 17, 2010 by bananaboat11
Bejita463 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I'm being jerked around. I refuse to pursue either girl now. Great. Spoil the ending for me. I was reading that, thinking the whole time I was going to get to point out that you are being toyed with. Then, like a fork about to be stuck in a socket by a toddler, you snatch it away from me. MAYBE I WANTED TO ELECT.... er...be the one to say it.
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 Great. Spoil the ending for me. I was reading that, thinking the whole time I was going to get to point out that you are being toyed with. Then, like a fork about to be stuck in a socket by a toddler, you snatch it away from me. MAYBE I WANTED TO ELECT.... er...be the one to say it. Figures. Thanks for the AMAZING advice. *two thumbs up*
Bejita463 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Figures. Thanks for the AMAZING advice. *two thumbs up* Heh. I'm not really sure what else you might be going for. So I went with humor. Sorry to hear that these things happened to you though, for what it is worth.
DustySaltus Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I've been exactly where you are now my friend. I was back out there after the breakup with my ex-fiance and met a girl online. It was a girl that I was really into and I set up a great date in a restaurant at central park....she never showed up while I ate lunch alone, staring at the swans in the lake. (Then her BF called me two weeks later, threatening me...go figure). Another girl was a religious fanatic who I'm not even sure if she liked me or just wanted to convert me. And the list goes on..... It's all a numbers game and having a positive approach. If a baseball player strikes out 7 out of 10 times and gets a hit the other 3, he's an all-star. Sure the strikeouts suck, but it makes the hits that much sweeter. I read somewhere that 20% of women will always like you, 20% will never like you and 60% are on the fence. 80% isn't bad. It's better starbucks girl told you what's going on now then down the line. Be careful with the baristas...I would think a bunch of them were into me if I didn't realize that they were treating the woman right behind me in the exact same manner. The other girl is a flake and/or not into you and she's just trying to be nice. I mean her roommate couldn't come so she had to cancel the whole thing....not cool. You'll be alright, you're out there in the field doing what you need to do. It will all work out for you.
boogieboy Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I go by a few rules. Makes life much easier. First of all, no first contact though facebook, its f*ckin cowardly, not attractive for anyone. second, I take her number, and give her mine to make sure when I call she knows its me. If she hems and haws about that, I say, in her face, forget it. (anyone who was truly interested took my number without hesitation) third, if they dont answer when I call, I leave a message, and thats it, I forget about them. If they call back, great. if not, Oh well, theres another one behind you. Dont get your hopes up when you get a number, it creates hurt when you get dissappointed.
Left in a Lurch Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I see a lot of women post on here basically asking about what a guy they are seeing is doing when it is evident the guys are usually fishing to see if the girl is actually interested or toying with them, and it is because what the OPs post refers to is fairly common in my experience and from what I see other friends go through. The way to know a woman is 100% interested in you and wants to have your children: She'll give you her number, flirt, smile, agree to go out, add you on FB, schedule a date. The way to know she's not interested: She'll give you her number, flirt, smile, agree to go out, add you on FB, schedule a date. But not interested.
DustySaltus Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 She'll give you her number, flirt, smile, agree to go out, add you on FB, schedule a date. But not interested. That just about sums it up right there.
sigurpol Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I've gone through that too many times, and each time I give the person the benefit of the doubt. Why? Probably because I'm desperate. The same thing recently happened to me. Well not the SAME thing, but the same idea. Online dating thing, since I was just recently used as a rebound, I tried my luck on one of them. Found someone who I thought was extremely attractive (kinda makes me wonder why she's on the site). And, get this. Actually responds to messages! Stupid chat stuff for a while, finally exchange numbers, and she would text me n' everything (never calls though). We make plans to get a drink one evening, "Sorry, I can't tonight, I got outta work late and"-- you know the drill. "Can we pleaaseeeee reschedule?". So I said yea, we make a time, and I set a place. That day, "Man, today has been a rough day for me". I'm thinking, I know where this is going... So I respond with, "Oh? indulge :-)". Finally ends with, "You must hatee meee! I'm sorry, but we can reschedule!" We SORTA do, she has "things to do for work" and is driving out of town for some school stuff. At one point, she stops into where I work, where we actually meet. She's done it twice. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! But, yea, we've rescheduled. But something always comes up. Ditch this ****.
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