should I be friend ..forgetting everything?

[eternal.denied84]

i have been going back and forth on NC thing and realized that i have been acting like a weirdo,obsessed,desperate guy. when i look back now i wonder why it was required to be so much dramatic about the breakup..how she was able to take it very lightly and i was acting like a crazy nut?

 

one moment i would badmout her,blame her and second moment i would feel guilty say sorry and aske her back.its so surprising how can i get a girl back with this attitude?

 

This is what i am thinking now,can i be friend with my ex gf now? can i forget everything put my emotions under control and be in good terms with her?

 

1.)i don't want to get away like i never existed..may be because i still love her.

2) would it be good on my respect part trying to be friend with a girl who has called off relationship?

3) would it hamper my healing process?

4) would this give me a better chance to regain trust on her and possible rebuild the relationship?

5) would i be able to handle if i come to know that she is going around with someone else?

 

i have these questions in my mind,if someone can put light i would be grateful.By any means i want to correct the crazy/weirdo behavior what i have done and come out as a normal person again.

 

if i just drop off i feel that we are done forever,because i have been on NC for 2 months and she never bothered to call me back.

 

apart from my ego i don't see any problem in being friend with her.but who knows if i go crazy again if she doesnt pick call,if i feel theres someone else blah blah.

 

pls guide.

 

PS:this has been our LDR all the time,we met 2 times in person during entire relationship.

 

Please read other posts by me for details

[DustySaltus]

1.)i don't want to get away like i never existed..may be because i still love her.

 

Trust me, it's not like you never existed but it's not about her anymore, it's about you. NC helps you get back to you and although it will make you think about her more it's better to go through this process once than 50 times when you keep initiating contact with her. It puts you back at square one. Don't think of it in terms of "oh, she's forgetting about me". Think about it as everyday I move forward I am one step closer to getting back to being myself.

 

2) would it be good on my respect part trying to be friend with a girl who has called off relationship?

 

Absoluetly not at this point. Maybe down the line but based upon #1 above your are CLEARLY not over her. Any attempt to be her "friend" at this point wouldn't be genuine. It would just be undercover while you try to find a way to get her back. You would need to have feelings of INDIFFERENCE to be her friend at this point and you aren't there.

 

 

3) would it hamper my healing process?

 

Any contact with her or looking at her facebook page will hamper the healing process. Would you rip a band aid off a cut two seconds after you put it on....of course not, think of it the same way.

 

 

4) would this give me a better chance to regain trust on her and possible rebuild the relationship?

 

No, you need to focus on you. IT'S OVER. Stick to NC and unless SHE comes back down the line begging for a second chance, there's nothing to talk about with her.

 

5) would i be able to handle if i come to know that she is going around with someone else?

 

Not at this point. What about you, can you get out there and have fun again?

 

if i just drop off i feel that we are done forever,because i have been on NC for 2 months and she never bothered to call me back.

 

Stop counting. I've been there and it was AWFUL. But it does get better. Focus on yourself. Take all that negative energy and put it into something that betters you. Don't let someone else define you, make you own legacy.

[Weird]

don't waste your time on the friendship thing UNLESS down the line you totally have no feelings for her at all.

 

Trust me, it WILL NOT work if you have any feelings and have to try and pretend you don't assuming she is the type of person who sees things black and white and will never be open to seeing if things could work in the future.

 

If you try and do the friends thing but don't mask the feelings then she will see you still have them and will either string you along to keep up her ego or she may pull back and be cautious of how to converse with you for fear you'll take it the wrong way.

 

Flat out, the friends with an ex deal simply is pointless unless both parties keep their mind open to trying things out again if there is still a connection. Outside of that, what is the point? Even if both people don't have feelings, it most likely won't last because when people get involved with others things will change. Say the girl gets with a guy and he doesn't like her being friends with you...she'll probably go with the guy. Say you find someone new and your new girl doesn't like it...you'll distance yourself. It most likely simply isn't going to last so why waste the time on it?

 

I just find the whole act to be some weird human belief that by keeping romantic people from your past in your life as "friends" somehow makes you a better person.

 

BTW I say this stuff from experience and feel like an idiot for it. If I ever get involved again and the relationship ends and the girl wants to be "friends" I will say no way. I don't need someone pretending to be my friend for the simple fact they think it makes them appear classy.

[Ilovecake]

i have been going back and forth on NC thing and realized that i have been acting like a weirdo,obsessed,desperate guy. when i look back now i wonder why it was required to be so much dramatic about the breakup..how she was able to take it very lightly and i was acting like a crazy nut?

 

one moment i would badmout her,blame her and second moment i would feel guilty say sorry and aske her back.its so surprising how can i get a girl back with this attitude?

 

This is what i am thinking now,can i be friend with my ex gf now? can i forget everything put my emotions under control and be in good terms with her?

 

1.)i don't want to get away like i never existed..may be because i still love her.

2) would it be good on my respect part trying to be friend with a girl who has called off relationship?

3) would it hamper my healing process?

4) would this give me a better chance to regain trust on her and possible rebuild the relationship?

5) would i be able to handle if i come to know that she is going around with someone else?

 

i have these questions in my mind,if someone can put light i would be grateful.By any means i want to correct the crazy/weirdo behavior what i have done and come out as a normal person again.

 

if i just drop off i feel that we are done forever,because i have been on NC for 2 months and she never bothered to call me back.

 

apart from my ego i don't see any problem in being friend with her.but who knows if i go crazy again if she doesnt pick call,if i feel theres someone else blah blah.

 

pls guide.

 

PS:this has been our LDR all the time,we met 2 times in person during entire relationship.

 

Please read other posts by me for details

 

Three questions for you. Does she have both arms? Does she have access to a telephone? Can she speak? If you answer yes to these and have not heard from her in two months she does not want to talk to you. Take it for what it is but you'll feel better if you don't contact her and have your esteem crushed.

Met twice in person? She was not your girlfriend to begin with, she was an acquaintance. You are obsessing over a person you don't even know.

[LovelyDaze]

Three questions for you. Does she have both arms? Does she have access to a telephone? Can she speak? If you answer yes to these and have not heard from her in two months she does not want to talk to you. Take it for what it is but you'll feel better if you don't contact her and have your esteem crushed.

Met twice in person? She was not your girlfriend to begin with, she was an acquaintance. You are obsessing over a person you don't even know.

 

Loved this.

 

Some of my exes proved they had arms, a phone and the ability to speak so they called me back after days,weeks, or months.

 

Some exes became armless, their phone exploded on fire and their mouth was wired shut so they didn't call me......OR did they just move on with their own life, I wondered?

 

Don't keep up the push and pull mess. It will only keep you in a state of despair. Going NC helps you and you alone. You deserve someone who would jump and down at the very thought of being with you...leave yourself open to finding that woman...