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Posted

I don't really know what I'm feeling myself, so apologies if this thread is absolutely confusing!

 

I'm 14, lesbian, and I'm not in a public school. I have two good, near by friends, who know what I am. I don't understand or know why, but lately, I just feel hollow. It just feels like I'm rotting inside. It just keep growing bigger, and I don't know what it is, or how to stop it. I want to, but I don't know why i'm like this! I'm don't have any mental problems or anything. Great friends and family, but it's just been so depressing lately. I have a few online friends that I usually talk to when I'm having trouble, but I don't want to burden them with anything more. I'm just confused, and something I can't explain. :(

Posted (edited)

It sounds to me like you are having a bit of trouble articulating how you feel right now. Have you been able to talk to a parent about how you are feeling?

 

The reason I ask is that you say you don't want to bother people. Here's what I say - bother.

 

Tell someone about how you are feeling, even if it's just to get it off of your chest. It's amazing what just chatting about something can do to help us sort things out sometimes. You are totally worth being heard.

Edited by deux ex machina
  • Author
Posted

I haven't told my mom, nor my step dad cause we just, never talk. And I now know why I've been like this, but doesn't help much.

Posted

You can't change the way you are, so learn to own it. Learn to be proud of it rather than embarrassed. I'm not telling you to wave it around like a flag, but it certainly shouldn't feel like a giant burden or anything. You're fourteen, so you're probably worried about what other people will think. But try to step back and see how little any of the politics of high school and teenage life really matter in the grand scheme. If somebody makes fun of you, realize that they are only doing it so that other people will like them and find them funny. If somebody seriously disagrees with your lifestyle, realize that THEY are the ones who are backwards and ignorant, not you.

 

But I agree that you should talk to somebody. Does your school have a counselor? Is there a teacher that you trust? A parent of a friend, maybe?

  • Author
Posted

I'm not embarrassed about being a lez. I over came that months ago! As for teachers no, I'm homeschooled, so no counselors and teachers, besides my mom, and we never talk anymore.

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