DLM77 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 A friend told me today they're content with their life, but not happy? I personally can't grasp this. Is there really a difference? Do they go hand in hand?
USMCHokie Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I feel that they are two separate things. I am also content, but not necessarily happy. For me: content = would like to change some things, but it isn't worth the effort because I'm satisfied with the way things are... happy = wouldn't change anything...
skydiveaddict Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 A friend told me today they're content with their life, but not happy? I personally can't grasp this. Is there really a difference? Do they go hand in hand? I can't grasp it either. How can one be content without happiness?
zebracolors Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Yes it seems to me the two are more similar then different as Hokie says. With happiness being a step up from contentedness? Maybe something like happiness vs. comfort, where one could say they can be comfortable (in life or a relationship, or job) but that would not always mean they're happy in it.
Crusoe Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Happiness is a state of mind, contentment is a choice. The opposite of contentment is greed, greed is not the opposite of happiness.
TaraMaiden Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Contentment is deeper, and longer-lasting, being happy is transitory and briefer. Put it this way: Let's say you're looking to change your job. You have a good job now, and it pays good money, and it's conveniently close... But somebody's offered you something that although it pays less, sounds more fun, and although it would be a commute, you'd be doing something completely different every day, and working on something you'd always dreamed of. Do you stick with current job, or do you shift to the less-paid one? Which one would make you happy.... And which one would bring you contentment?
Meaplus3 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Hmmmm. Well IMO, if one is content they are happy, so I'm not quite sure that what your friend said makes much sense. I guess it's possible to be content with sort of co-existing.. but is that really happiness? Don't think so. Just my take here. Mea:)
GorillaTheater Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I guess it depends on your definitions. To me at least, happiness is heavily dependant on the circumstances of the moment. Contentment, on the other hand, is an acceptance that circumstances change, that life has its ups and downs, but knowing that you'll be okay regardless.
threebyfate Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 You should ask your friend what "contentment" means to him/her. If this person views contentment as a state of existing where it's not bad enough to warrant a change, rather than glad to be where they want to be in life, then his/her comments hold true.
USMCHokie Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I guess it depends on your definitions. To me at least, happiness is heavily dependant on the circumstances of the moment. Contentment, on the other hand, is an acceptance that circumstances change, that life has its ups and downs, but knowing that you'll be okay regardless. Acceptance is a great word to describe contentment...it's knowing that you have enough to live your life...even if it isn't everything you want...it's enough...
2sure Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Contentment, on the other hand, is an acceptance that circumstances change, that life has its ups and downs, but knowing that you'll be okay regardless.[/QUOTE] Yeah, thats it. It has been years and years that I have truly ever been completely unhappy or somewhat depressed. Even through crisis & struggle. That acceptance, that contentment...some people mistakenly identify that as "settling" with less than ideal. I dont need perfect fulfillment in every aspect of my life...its all a balance.
Perhaps Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I have to disagree - for me, thinking of contentment as acceptance makes it seem like a compromise. In my view, nothing is absolute in this world - everything is relative. Everything has an opposite that balances the other out: happy-sad, man-woman, black-white, etc. So, happiness is a relative. It's a feeling; it's not a permanent feeling. If you can imagine a wave, imagine happiness as the crest and sadness as the trough - you know that you'll have to come down after you hit the crest and you know you will go up once you hit the trough. Contentment, on the other hand, isn't a feeling - it's a state of mind. It's not a compromise, not an acceptance of circumstances. Contentment is. From the wave example, imagine the wave as a straight line - no flares, no rough ups or downs... just pure bliss. Happiness is when you feel like jumping for joy and smiling. Contentment is being at peace and feeling light on the inside. Did I make sense?
ADF Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Your friend is very smart. There is this big lie in the culture that everyone can be happy all the time, as if happiness can be the day-to-day state of human life. It can't. Life is messier than that. We will all be happy, sad, scared, relieved, frightened, angry, etc at turns. A state of perpetual happiness is too much to hope for. Contentment isn't. A content person goes through the whole range of emotions as well, but beneath it all feels fundamentally grounded. A content person knows the foundations of their life--family, friends, etc--are strong, and they can probably weather most storms. They won't be happy all the time, but know they can be again when thing go bad.
sb129 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I guess it depends on your definitions. To me at least, happiness is heavily dependant on the circumstances of the moment. Contentment, on the other hand, is an acceptance that circumstances change, that life has its ups and downs, but knowing that you'll be okay regardless. There is this big lie in the culture that everyone can be happy all the time, as if happiness can be the day-to-day state of human life. It can't. Life is messier than that. We will all be happy, sad, scared, relieved, frightened, angry, etc at turns. A state of perpetual happiness is too much to hope for. Contentment isn't. A content person goes through the whole range of emotions as well, but beneath it all feels fundamentally grounded. A content person knows the foundations of their life--family, friends, etc--are strong, and they can probably weather most storms. They won't be happy all the time, but know they can be again when thing go bad. I agree 100% with these posts, esp with the bolded part. That describes my life pretty well at the moment. I am not "happy" 24-7- I am a working mother with a baby, a husband and a mortgage, sometimes life gets a little stressful and I don't love every minute of every day. But there are many moments of happiness, just as there is sadness and grief from losing my dad, frustration when we try and do our finances, annoyance when my husband goes on a 2 hour fishing trip that becomes a 4 hour one, anger when we learned our bank had cost us money, exasperation when the dog brings something disgusting inside and drops it on the carpet... I am content because there is nothing BIG that I would like to change about my life (except maybe the balance of our savings account). But to say i was "happy" all the time would be a lie- I don't live in Pleasantville!
deux ex machina Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I have to disagree - for me, thinking of contentment as acceptance makes it seem like a compromise. In my view, nothing is absolute in this world - everything is relative. Everything has an opposite that balances the other out: happy-sad, man-woman, black-white, etc. So, happiness is a relative. It's a feeling; it's not a permanent feeling. If you can imagine a wave, imagine happiness as the crest and sadness as the trough - you know that you'll have to come down after you hit the crest and you know you will go up once you hit the trough. Contentment, on the other hand, isn't a feeling - it's a state of mind. It's not a compromise, not an acceptance of circumstances. Contentment is. From the wave example, imagine the wave as a straight line - no flares, no rough ups or downs... just pure bliss. Happiness is when you feel like jumping for joy and smiling. Contentment is being at peace and feeling light on the inside. Did I make sense? Makes perfect sense, and resonates with me.
spriggig Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Ah, but is there a danger of slipping from contentment into complacency? I think there is and it's hard to tell the difference from the inside. I think men especially find it all too easy to become complacent and then rationalize away niggling little blips and tell-tales that something is wrong. The male mind likes to solve problems--once a red-flag is lazily shut down, the complacency feels just like contentment again and all seems well. That's when she says: "We have to talk".
Meaplus3 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 But to say i was "happy" all the time would be a lie- I don't live in Pleasantville! I like this.. it's so true. You know IMO, people who claim they are happy all the time.. are just full of it.. and with my op.. the reverse is true. Meaning they must not be all that happy if they have to boast about there happiness.. on a daily basis. If you happy and content.. IMO.. there is no need to have to shout it off the roof tops 50 million times a day. Happy and content go hand in hand in my book. Mea:)
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