Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Another thread got me thinking about this: Porn is the male equivalent of the female romance novel. Both media allow their target gender audience to fantasize about being involved with someone who is out of that person's league. Since men are obsessed with sex, their medium focuses on sex with women who are way hotter than the women they can otherwise actually get to have sex with them. The guys in pornos usually have above-average penis sizes as well, allowing the viewer to pretend his is as large. For a few minutes, at least, the viewer is a big-shlonged stud who gets to bang an enthusiastic, attractive woman who will do anything for him. You don't see, in porn, the guy buying the girl dinner first or sitting through her son's piano recital just to get her panties off. Since women have a slew of other relationship needs besides sex, their medium allows them to put themselves in the place of a beautiful, independent, strong woman who has everything but a man. And in the end, the heroine catches her man, who is always tall, handsome, successful, etc. etc. etc. Both media allow those who are unable to attract top-shelf members of the opposite sex to spend some time in a world where they, vicariously, can. So for women who are deeply hurt when their hubbies watch porn, just think of it as if he's watching the male equivalent of a romance novel.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 This analogy never makes any sense to me. I'm pretty sure that most guys I know watch porn. But I don't have a single female friend who reads romance novels. I read a few when I was in junior high, just to see what the sex scenes were like. Pretty boring, and the novelty wore off within a few months.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 Your anecdotal evidence is meaningless. The porn industry is roughly 10 times the size of the romance novel industry. $13 billion vs. $1.3 billion yearly. http://www.rwanational.org/cs/the_romance_genre/romance_literature_statistics/industry_statistics http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/07/porn-bailout-larry-flynt_n_155878.html However, this hardly translates in "No women read romance novels." It's big business and serves a wide demographic, your friends' lack of admission of reading them notwithstanding. And this statistic doesn't include all the other ways women get romance in their lives: romantic comedies, etc. Besides, whether the people you know read them doesn't attack the meat of the argument presented.
Twenty-ten Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 This topic again? It was already done and not that long ago here you go you will prob get more answers by looking at the last thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220766/
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 My OP was far more intellectual than the OP of that thread and provides a logical framework for the analogy. And this thread has yet to be moved off-topic by wacky anti-porn zealots, though I expect it to happen any time. In short, I hope to keep this thread *intelligent* and *logical,* not emotional and inanely dramatic. If someone has something enlightening to say about the logic provided in the OP, I'd love to hear it. Appeals to emotion and illogical comments will be ignored or soundly destroyed, depending on my mood. It's a fairly unassailable argument for any rational thinker, IMHO.
likestolaugh Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 My OP was far more intellectual than the OP of that thread and provides a logical framework for the analogy. if your that smart, then don't you have anything better to do?
phineas Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 but, what about women who watch porn? talk to the guy working the counter at the local porn shop (just don't shake his hand) he'll tell you a portion of his regulars are women. The few times me & the STBXW went in there we saw women alone & with their men. The women were the leaders in those groups picking out videos & toys.
Bejita463 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 their medium focuses on sex with women who are way hotter than... ...what. Even with professional lighting and makeup, most of them still don't look all that great.
phineas Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 ...what. Even with professional lighting and makeup, most of them still don't look all that great. No, they do not. High Definition porn is not a pretty site.
blair08 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 In romance novels the women don't get b*tch slapped, and degraded. There is no comparison...people just want to compare it as a justification for what they like. If they like romance novels, fine. If they like porn fine. Its gonna be ok.
Bejita463 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 In romance novels the women don't get b*tch slapped, They don't generally sexually molest animals either. I think the OP was referring to porn though, not fetish porn. /Just sayin',
blair08 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 They don't generally sexually molest animals either. I think the OP was referring to porn though, not fetish porn. /Just sayin', I wasn't referring to fetish porn either...I was meaning porn in general...its not like it used to be thats for sure. No one needs to justify/compare anything..if they like whatever, then they do.
Bejita463 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I wasn't referring to fetish porn either...I was meaning porn in general... In what non-fetish porn does a woman get slapped anywhere except on her bottom?
JackJack Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 In romance novels the women don't get b*tch slapped, and degraded. There is no comparison...people just want to compare it as a justification for what they like. If they like romance novels, fine. If they like porn fine. Its gonna be ok.[/QUOTe Yes, bingo!
xxoo Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Newsflash: women get off on porn. http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/24/o.women.watching.porn/ If women are offended by porn, or feel ashamed to enjoy porn, or are uncomfortable with their partner enjoying porn, that is a separate issue. But porn has the same physiological effect on women that it does on men.
JackJack Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Newsflash: women get off on porn. http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/24/o.women.watching.porn/ If women are offended by porn, or feel ashamed to enjoy porn, or are uncomfortable with their partner enjoying porn, that is a separate issue. But porn has the same physiological effect on women that it does on men. Yes there are some that do get off on porn and who love it. I think its just all in what a person likes/enjoys. If a person doesn't like the fact their partner is into something they are not, then they need to discuss it and see if a compromise can be worked out.
Mr White Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Well, any form of entertainment is basically an escape into a fantasy world, so yes. Porn is a form of entertainment (and protected speech), so there you go. But, maybe not - getting lsaid regularly reduces or eliminates interest (at least my interest) in porn, so it might be just a valve. Though some fantasies are difficult or illegal to pull of in real world, so porn would come to the rescue in such cases
Scottdmw Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I think there is a lot of truth to this argument. Both men and women have a large set of prewired attraction switches, all the little things that combine together to make a member of the opposite sex attractive. For men a large number of these switches have to do with how a woman looks, and then there are others for her intelligence, charm, etc. For women more of the switches involve nonappearance qualities such as ambition, confidence, etc. Porn is the medium where a man can get the largest number of his switches flipped at the same time in a short period of time. Likewise, a romance novel does the same thing for women. It requires a story for all of her switches to be flipped, because so many of them involve things like social status, drive, courage and other virtues, etc. But arguably, it is true that both mediums fulfill a similar function in that people basically go to them to get turned on sexually, to get a sexual thrill when there is no partner available or when their partner isn't really doing all they would like. Romance novels might in some cases be a little less extreme. I think of porn as sort of like eating a pound cake, it is mostly fat with just barely enough flour to keep it together. Certainly there is nothing particularly nutritious there. Romance novels can vary though, they may actually have some elements of plot or character development or drama beyond just setting up the sexual tension. To the degree that they have those things they become more of a mainstream novel, and less like porn. The problem I see with both things, like any other form of escapism, in that it becomes an easy way to achieve a strong pleasure without having to work for it. In nature the way humans originally evolved, sex was the strongest pleasure because it was the most difficult thing to get. People were supposed to do all kinds of difficult things in order to attain a good satisfying relationship. If you can get the same pleasure easily from porn or a romance novel, why go to all the trouble of finding an actual person? The impact of pleasure on the brain is an interesting thing. Whatever we find strongly pleasurable, we are prewired to seek more and more of. As we pursue a particular pleasure more and more, we actually change more into whatever type of person is suited for gaining that kind of pleasure. This can often be a useful thing. If for example we take pleasure in playing a musical instrument, we will be motivated to do the hard work that is required. This leads to an end that is useful to ourselves but also to other people, eventually we can play music and brighten other people's lives. The same kind of thing happens if we take pleasure in doing a good job at work. However, the more we take pleasure in easy things like porn, romance novels, or to take an extreme example doing illicit drugs like cocaine, the more we arrange our lives to seek out those easy pleasures. Those kind of pleasures tend to make a person turn in on themselves and become a person whose purpose is seeking those pleasures. There is no useful end that can benefit other people. In the extreme we turn into a being whose sole purpose is self stimulated pleasure. I'm not going to say that people should never use escapism. But, I think it's something that should be treated with care. No one wants to end up like the rat in that medical experiment that could stimulate the pleasure center of its brain by pressing a lever, and proceeded to do so until it died. But, in a sense that's the logical end of things like porn and romance novels too (at least those romance novels that are entirely focused on the sexual tension). Scott
Els Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Meh, I know I love porn, although only certain genres of it. Definitely does more for me than any dumb romance novel. Ironically, my bf has confessed that when he was a wee kid lacking any other masturbatory stimulus, he'd used the sex scenes in his mother's romance novels before. But I forgive him, since he was like 12.
Mr White Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Meh, I know I love porn, although only certain genres of it. Definitely does more for me than any dumb romance novel. Ironically, my bf has confessed that when he was a wee kid lacking any other masturbatory stimulus, he'd used the sex scenes in his mother's romance novels before. But I forgive him, since he was like 12. This is a joy that most of the currently sexually maturing generation will never know - scavenging explicit sexual scenes from books. The king of them all: "The Godfather", page 29
Els Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I've scavenged sexual scenes from books - but NOT from romance novels.
Engadget Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 This is a joy that most of the currently sexually maturing generation will never know - scavenging explicit sexual scenes from books. The king of them all: "The Godfather", page 29 I found my grandfather's stash of Playboy's and Penthouse magazines from the 60's and 70's, those had great sexual stories.
Houndsoflove Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I've never read a romance novel in my life. neither has 98% of my female friends. However, I have watched porn. Why the hell do men think women sit around reading romance novels? If anything, they are something women around my mothers age were into.
threebyfate Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I find both porn and romance novels, a big joke.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 But, maybe not - getting lsaid regularly reduces or eliminates interest (at least my interest) in porn, so it might be just a valve. Though some fantasies are difficult or illegal to pull of in real world, so porn would come to the rescue in such cases So it's healthy to indulge in difficult or illegal situations in porn to feed into? What illegal situations are you talking about anyway? I will say this again, I've said it before. Women have nothing comparable to what men have in porn. Women do not demean men on 1/10th the level that men do when it comes to porn. Women do not liek to see men smacked around and called names. Clearly alot of men love to see women treated like this. What does this say about men? the fact that female fantasy si about show causing men's good qualities and male fantasy is about tearing women down and making her less of a human being? While romance novels are a stereotypically female enjoyed medium, it is more comparable to video games for men then it is porn. Video games are also a more male enjoyed medium. It is an escape from reality. It might have strong sexual overtones. However, most men do not masturabe to video games. Most women do not masturbate to romance novels. Romance novels do not demean men, put them down. Video games, do not demean women. Infact, romance novels tend to be about men who showcase good qualities such as loyalty, commitment, the ability to overcome personal struggle. The problem I see with both things, like any other form of escapism, in that it becomes an easy way to achieve a strong pleasure without having to work for it. In nature the way humans originally evolved, sex was the strongest pleasure because it was the most difficult thing to get. People were supposed to do all kinds of difficult things in order to attain a good satisfying relationship. If you can get the same pleasure easily from porn or a romance novel, why go to all the trouble of finding an actual person? Now this I totally agree with when it comes to both mediums. And I think we've seen a raise in this thinking with the increase of the internet. Men rather be the Knights in armor for the porn then the ywould for real women. That is why we get men liek the OP that basically say the women in porn are better and that men settle for women in the real world. But the sad thing is that it's not only sad for women. It's sad for men who let a medium like porn, something that seems to entrench alot of men, holds them back from being the type of men they truly could be. I think men would have more respect from women in general if they stepped up to the plate and showcased good qualties like self control, strength, being proud in who they are but also in the real women in their lives. I think women would respect men so much more. And would be more likely to follow their lead more. But instead men choose to defend their weakness on a product marketed to them by other men making money off their weakness. Instead, men choose to defend pornography over standing up with the real woman in their lives that actually stand by them.
Recommended Posts