malc Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I have been NC with my ex now for 1-2 months nearly, and she ended things, and I begged for her to reconsider, but she would not listen. I suffered for a little while, but then gradually started to get busy and time played its part and has fixed my broken heart a little. Now for the past 2 weeks she has emailed me to say she is worried about me and if I have hit the bottle, am I alive etc. I loved this girl to shreds, but she really broke me and tore me up inside, and after listening to all the wise ones on this board, decided to give their advice a go, and it has helped greatly, but at the same time, I did not want to block my exs emails or delete her completely and even though I eventually moved on a little, I still think of what could have been, there are feelings there that refuse to go away and now she is starting to play the 'I care...' card. Im not going to undo the hard work I have done over the past 2 months, but THOUGHTS please. And guys, hang in there, time really is a healer, and NC is the way to go, and if she does not want you or cheats on you, then ask yourself the question, can you risk the same thing happening in the future again for a little extra time with your ex??!!
murphomatic Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I have been NC with my ex now for 1-2 months nearly, and she ended things, and I begged for her to reconsider, but she would not listen. I suffered for a little while, but then gradually started to get busy and time played its part and has fixed my broken heart a little. Now for the past 2 weeks she has emailed me to say she is worried about me and if I have hit the bottle, am I alive etc. I loved this girl to shreds, but she really broke me and tore me up inside, and after listening to all the wise ones on this board, decided to give their advice a go, and it has helped greatly, but at the same time, I did not want to block my exs emails or delete her completely and even though I eventually moved on a little, I still think of what could have been, there are feelings there that refuse to go away and now she is starting to play the 'I care...' card. Im not going to undo the hard work I have done over the past 2 months, but THOUGHTS please. And guys, hang in there, time really is a healer, and NC is the way to go, and if she does not want you or cheats on you, then ask yourself the question, can you risk the same thing happening in the future again for a little extra time with your ex??!! Ouch - yeah, that's a tough card to deal with. Just remember though that it's likely a charade. She walked away from the relationship for specific reasons that maybe only she will ever know, and now she's starting to miss you being in her life... but if you went back, she's eventually run into the same roadblock she hit previously and it would be a "rinse...repeat" situation for you, undoing all the hard work and healing you've been experiencing over the last couple months. If you're really concerned with letting her know you're alright, I'd send her a brief email response stating simply "Yeah, I'm doing fine. Please don't ever contact me again." She will get the message and will leave you alone (hopefully). I know it's tough to be stuck thinking of all the things you could've been, and what the future could've turned out to be - but you HAVE to let that stuff go now ... look at it like this - you'll be freeing up the space those dreams occupied to replace them with even better, bigger dreams. So if you feel it necessary to let her know you're fine - do it, but be brief and to the point, and be clear that she isn't to contact you again, and then continue moving on with your life. I split with my girlfriend about a month back, and sometimes I catch myself wondering ... but I keep putting consistent effort into pointing my head forward and putting one foot in front of the other, and it gets a little easier every day ... every hour ... every minute.
DustySaltus Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Malc, let her live with her decision. Unless she says that she made a big mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make things work, it's all empty words. Sure, she may care. But she lost the right to know anything about you when she decided to end things with you. Let her think about what she is missing and wallow in her guilt. If the problems that led to the breakup aren't corrected you would be going in circles anyway. I've seen this happen to a bunch of friends of mine. Stay strong, focus on yourself and let time continue to heal you. Good luck.
LovelyDaze Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 can you risk the same thing happening in the future again for a little extra time with your ex??!! Nope. The whole getting back together thing is all about the inability to let go and familiarity. My ex is done...over and out.
paleblue Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Nope. The whole getting back together thing is all about the inability to let go and familiarity. My ex is done...over and out. over and out. i like that. i will just say that getting back with any of my exes has never worked out. not once.
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