MichelleZB Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I'm just posting to let you LDR people know that me and my (now) husband made it through two and a half years of LDR. It IS possible, although sometimes I'm still not sure how we managed it. Don't lose hope--it could work out! The best thing to do is know the pitfalls of an LDR and don't panic when they happen to you--because they happen to everyone. The biggest things that can strain an LDR: --people needing different contact frequency (i.e. one person's okay with an occasional email; the other needs a call every day) --a lack of a future plan (i.e. you don't know when you'll be able to move to the same city and be together) --visits having a 'holiday' feel (i.e. when you visit, one person is working while the other person is on 'holiday'. You never have equal demands on your time) Good luck!
Ecosse Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Congrats Michelle!!! Im glad to hear that youre LDR worked... It is tough at times but I will agree that it is worth it (mine has 3.5 months left then I move)... Also Ill add my own pitfall Remember that 90 percent of communication is non verbal... So its easy to misunderstand some things from time to time... Think about what else your SO could have meant... It has helped us out a lot
aerogurl87 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Congrats, another story to add to the number of successful LDR stories on LS
mammax3 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I'm getting ready to throw in the towel, due to the contact frequency you mentioned. How did you deal with that?
Author MichelleZB Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 I'm getting ready to throw in the towel, due to the contact frequency you mentioned. How did you deal with that? Which person are you--the person who needs more contact or the person who doesn't understand what the fuss is all about?
Ashbash11 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Thank you MichelleZB! It's nice to know that things worked out for someone on LS.. when all is said and done, my SO and I will have been doing LD for almost 2 years... I hope things work out for us as they did for you!
Shucky Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 those certainly are the 3 pitfalls arent they, I read them and was like "tick. tick. tick. woop I've won with all 3!" I'm one who needs less contact than my SO, she likes the webcam to be on all the time and even if we're doing our respective work or whatever, I don't mind it usually but sometimes its nice to just have a couple of hours to watch a movie none-interrupted ;-) If one of us goes away I'm happy just receiving an email or occasional BB IM saying "I love you" but for her she finds it really hard not having really regular contact. We make it work though ;-D Congrats on succeeding though! x
Author MichelleZB Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 That is wonderful!!! I'm curious, how far apart were you guys? The whole time, I was in school in Toronto, Ontario. He was in Banff, Alberta for about 8 months, then Montreal, Quebec for 3 months, then Thunder Bay, Ontario for a year and a half. You can look that up on a map. Through that, we were able to spend 2-3 month summers together, then go back to our respective cities.
Away Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Congrats!! How about one of us needing more reassurance on the other's feelings? Big pitfall in my LDR... Anyway! I'm glad you guys made it!! Hopefully, so will we...
mammax3 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Thanks for responding, Michelle. I'm very happy that you two have made it work over all those distances (I looked it up on the map - whoa! Hardy congrats!) I'm the one who needs more contact. He's quite fine to have brief (I might say terse) texts every few days and sporatic chats - during which I usually (and counterproductively although he's very good about hanging in there with me) ask about the state of our relationship and whether he's still interested and barrage him with my feelings. At some level I know I need to be more chill, but if I'm sensing that he's not into me, then I don't want to 'just chat'. He often says he's still interested and wishes we could be closer. I've brought up my need for contact twice in the last 2 months and I'm not seeing much change. I *know* he's very busy and often tired at the end of a long day, but given that we only see each other 2ce a month I think we need communication to keep our connection. How did you do it?
Spygurl Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 thanks for the encouragement and tips! glad its working out. Are you two back in the same vicinity now?
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