tylerdurden Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 She broke up 6 weeks ago..We had the usual arguing..begging(from my side), then I went NC for 2 weeks.I told her before that we couldnt be friend, but however she kept sending me emails, and everytime I had one email, my world was upside down for a couple of days.. Today I sent her an email, telling her that we wouldnt be friend, and also asking her if she had anything else to tell me apart from those 3 lines emails;Somehow I know that she read it but she hasnt answer...I guess it speaks for itself... I guess I got my closure.One part of me is relieved that there isnt anymore hope, so that I can move on but Im feeling very sad. Thank you for reading me.
nobmagnet Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 She broke up 6 weeks ago..We had the usual arguing..begging(from my side), then I went NC for 2 weeks.I told her before that we couldnt be friend, but however she kept sending me emails, and everytime I had one email, my world was upside down for a couple of days.. Today I sent her an email, telling her that we wouldnt be friend, and also asking her if she had anything else to tell me apart from those 3 lines emails;Somehow I know that she read it but she hasnt answer...I guess it speaks for itself... I guess I got my closure.One part of me is relieved that there isnt anymore hope, so that I can move on but Im feeling very sad. Thank you for reading me. hey you! its right to not want to be a freind as it just is a request from the guilty party. If at all possible block her mail or redirect it to a new one that you only open or a mate opens. If its over then dont allow her to check to see if you still miss her as she has no right to know and it will feed her ego. stay strong love Nobby:love:
deux ex machina Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 She broke up 6 weeks ago..We had the usual arguing..begging(from my side), then I went NC for 2 weeks.I told her before that we couldnt be friend, but however she kept sending me emails, and everytime I had one email, my world was upside down for a couple of days.. Today I sent her an email, telling her that we wouldnt be friend, and also asking her if she had anything else to tell me apart from those 3 lines emails;Somehow I know that she read it but she hasnt answer...I guess it speaks for itself... I guess I got my closure.One part of me is relieved that there isnt anymore hope, so that I can move on but Im feeling very sad. Thank you for reading me. Of course you will have those moments of ambivalence for some time to come, but keep in mind that at the end of the day - you did the right thing. So now you can finally heal. You can do this, you are stronger than you know.
Author tylerdurden Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Hey nobmagnet! Thanks for your answer She was saying that she misses me and thought a lot about me, but when I answered I was very polite and I never mentionned to her how I felt, even though I was feeling like her (or whatever she pretends). We used to write to each other pages and pages, but now its only 3 lines... I guess I prefer to have nothing from her. But I miss her terribly... Everyone thinks that their situation are special but it isnt the case, the pattern is unfortunately the same...
LovelyDaze Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Hey nobmagnet! Thanks for your answer Everyone thinks that their situation are special but it isnt the case, the pattern is unfortunately the same... You are right. I have just answered a question from a guy who has been in LC (Low contact) for about a YEAR! He is suffering from not getting over her because his ex occasionally throws him crumbs. Stop all contact so you can heal properly so you won't still feel that same pain this time next year.
Author tylerdurden Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 You are right. I have just answered a question from a guy who has been in LC (Low contact) for about a YEAR! He is suffering from not getting over her because his ex occasionally throws him crumbs. Stop all contact so you can heal properly so you won't still feel that same pain this time next year. Why on earth are they doing this?Its so humiliating for us, so selfish from them...but I guess we are seeing their true faces right now. Im really sick of these self centred persons.... ONe year??? that is huge
phoenix1 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 You will be better off just letting it go. Don't prolong the pain..I've done that, and it sucks. I understand the ambivalence. My ex always contacts me in some way, and then that starts me on that insanity of is he gonna call again, email? And, bamm, I'm crazy again. And then when he doesn't, and flakes out again, I admit it is always a mixture of relief and disappointment. In the long it's better for me that he doesn't....
LovelyDaze Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Why on earth are they doing this?Its so humiliating for us, so selfish from them...but I guess we are seeing their true faces right now. Im really sick of these self centred persons.... ONe year??? that is huge Unfortunately, you have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, our exes probably loved us to death at one point in time, but sometimes we fall for people with personality flaws...one of them being a self-centered jerk. A lot of our exes keep contact with us as a way to validate themselves as being wanted and desired. They love the fact that the person they've dumped STILL pines for them. Going NC on a dumper squashes their ego to a pile of mush. PLUS it helps YOU move on with your life and find the kind of strength you didn't know you had! Don't give her a crumb. Stay NC and keep feeding your own ego by bettering yourself and leaving yourself open to finding a girl that only wants to love you. There out there..be ready!
Author tylerdurden Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 Unfortunately, you have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, our exes probably loved us to death at one point in time, but sometimes we fall for people with personality flaws...one of them being a self-centered jerk. A lot of our exes keep contact with us as a way to validate themselves as being wanted and desired. They love the fact that the person they've dumped STILL pines for them. Going NC on a dumper squashes their ego to a pile of mush. PLUS it helps YOU move on with your life and find the kind of strength you didn't know you had! Don't give her a crumb. Stay NC and keep feeding your own ego by bettering yourself and leaving yourself open to finding a girl that only wants to love you. There out there..be ready! Somehow I feel like Im a magnet for self centered,selfish women.. Just wondering where I would meet that girl willing to give me as much as I give her
Weird Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Well you guys are looking at one of the biggest idiots when it comes to this stuff. Broke up 7 yes SEVEN years ago and at the time she said the usual stuff how "I blew it" (at the time I asked what did I blow since it seemed apparent she wanted nothing to do with us being together) and the stuff about I'd never have the luxury of ever talking to her again. 1.5 years later she contacts me to apologize for what she said and how she handled things before that last talk. Said she couldn't give me a relationship at the time....tried to do the friends thing. Didn't work. Year later she contacts me and tried to talk and maybe hang out...didn't work. Started out ok but then got too weird and she seemed to not accept we had a past. Next year (hmm this is what, 2006 now...hehehe) same thing....she would act all sweet to start then in a bit the distant thing and not really acting like a friend. Another year and the same thing. Our standard year contact and this happened near the end of 2008. Hung out and ultimately find out a bit later she was seeing someone and decided she would hide that info from me. Why? Because she knew I had no desire to talk to her if she was in that situation but hey, contact me anyway. In addition to that she made some comments that were a bit below the belt to me acting like she forgot the good things I said/did when we were together when I knew she didn't forget. I finally told her in Jan 09 to get out of my life once and for all because this was ridiculous and she was toying with my emotions and said I hope for her sake karma doesn't come around and kick her in the ass with that guy screwing her over. At this point I gave up my belief she still had some feelings but was too afraid to act on them and finally accepted she was out of my life for good. Note that I was not sitting there moping every day for all those years hoping she'd see the light and want to get back together...I took the view I would just go along with what she was wanting and if we felt we wanted to try it out again then I'd be open for that. Fast forward to Jan of this year and I get an email saying karma did come around which I took to imply she got screwed over by him. Feb comes along and I send a harmless email about the SB and not trying to start communicating again. She replied, I didn't read the reply. She sends 2 more emails and I don't read them thinking she'd get the point but nope, she IMs me and wonders why I never replied asking if she offended me in some way. I read them and see she didn't say anything bad and figure I will tell her that. Bam, this starts the new round of talking. I figure SURELY if someone contacts you a year after you told them to f-off and ignores replying to you to the point you IM them about it and after 4 previous years of things going south that they must have some feelings because why waste the time? Things start out ok and it seemed a bit different this time (she actually acknowledged things from when we were together and brought them up!!) but sure enough, she started to pull away and I finally figured out a few days ago she really doesn't give a rip about me and it has all been just a selfish way for her to get her ego boosted by me and for her to just check up on how I view her and make sure I still see her in a positive light. In these 5.5-6 years of annual contacts not once was I ever truly complimented and not once did I ever get a "thanks for the way you treated me when we were together" type comment. This current time she doesn't even seem interested at all in what may be going on in my life and has simply talked about herself. My fave part was when she said she realizes I would do a lot for her and has recently figured out not many people are willing to put others in front of themselves and she cherishes those who will. The beauty is not too long after she says that, she complains about how she hooked up two friends and it went south (and they started complaining to her) and says she'll never do anything positive for anyone again. Funny how she can "cherish" those who can be selfless but can't do it herself. I asked for 2 simple pics of her in 2 pieces of clothes earlier this month (this crazy winter coat she mentioned and then her scrubs) and she never got them for me. How can you not take the 3.2 seconds to snap two pics for someone you imply you cherish and someone YOU keep contacting? In addition to all this she still sees me as the same guy from before meaning things I didn't do or care for then (which she had problems with) she still assumes exist and ignores reality which shows otherwise. See, she can change in the years and everyone else is logically expected to change over 7 years but not ol' Rob...nope, he just must be viewed as the same guy then. The best was this year's comment of how she knows I don't like talking on the phone yet I talked to her twice via phone in a week and got blown off when I wanted to call her a 3rd time and mentioned to her I'd have no problems calling her more if her schedule allowed it and if she wanted to. Flat out I got jerked around by her selfish ego trip all these years but honestly, it is my fault for putting faith in someone that supposedly loved me at one point to not do that to me. Just shows that no matter how much you may care for someone and how much they know you care and being able to look past when they selfishly hurt you they will have no problem taking advantage of that if it suits their needs. Almost each time she would contact me she'd say sorry for how things ended the year before and I kept "forgiving" her since I figured hey, no point in holding the grudge. So I can easily recommend not wasting your time trying to be friends and trying to keep contact with someone you dated IF they contact you and simply don't say they regret what happened and want to try things out again. If they merely say they want to be friends then just say bye and ignore them for good because it will be pointless. Every single time this crap happened to me it was like reliving the end of the relationship because I would feel guilty over the mistakes I made (usually brought on by the assumption comments she would make) while rationalizing away her issues and was just clueless to see that what she was doing was nothing but a selfish act. The funny thing is that even though I have not talked to her in over a week and have no plans to keep up the communication (she of course hasn't contacted me to see if everything is ok since maybe I had died...why do that?) I fully expect that within a year's time I'll be contacted yet again. I don't want to have to really go off on her as I don't want anything like that to be held over me for piece of mind but I may have to in order to drive the point home. I hope nobody acts like a silly stupid bitch like I did. The one positive thing is I know based on her being a selfish person that she'll continue to have failed relationship after failed relationship as I doubt she'll find another sucker like me who will put up with it.
Author tylerdurden Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Quite a post Weird.. We need to stand up for ourselves, stop getting played by those heartless,selfish persons.. What is helping me is that I gave everything to her, treated her like princess, she even said that noone treated her nor did so much things for her..I did my best so therefore I have no regrets, however I still feel the pain and the sadness ..
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Quite a post Weird.. We need to stand up for ourselves, stop getting played by those heartless,selfish persons.. What is helping me is that I gave everything to her, treated her like princess, she even said that noone treated her nor did so much things for her..I did my best so therefore I have no regrets, however I still feel the pain and the sadness .. Weird's posts is the story of a lot of lives here on LS. And tyler...don't be too sad. Like you said, YOU gave it your best shot and she didn't. No one can be in a relationship all by themselves.
Author tylerdurden Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Weird's posts is the story of a lot of lives here on LS. And tyler...don't be too sad. Like you said, YOU gave it your best shot and she didn't. No one can be in a relationship all by themselves. You seem like a very wise young lady Lovelydayz,, Is this actually a picture of you?
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 You seem like a very wise young lady Lovelydayz,, Is this actually a picture of you? Oh no. My sister sent me this pic years ago and said that she looked a lot like me. I don't think so but I use it as my avatar on another social networking site! But the "wisdom" is all true life experience from goofy little me!
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