cdt76 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I go to a gym for boxing just about everyday. There is a girl in there who has caught my eye. She is probably in her late 20's and I'm 39. There has been no flirting or anything as she comes in at the end of my class because her's starts after mine. I was wondering if 1) the age difference is too much to even consider talking to this girl and 2) how the heck can I approach her to let her know I'm interested. I've been out of the dating game for a long time and was never really any good at talking to girls anyway. I thought you all could help.
DustySaltus Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I go to a gym for boxing just about everyday. There is a girl in there who has caught my eye. She is probably in her late 20's and I'm 39. There has been no flirting or anything as she comes in at the end of my class because her's starts after mine. I was wondering if 1) the age difference is too much to even consider talking to this girl and 2) how the heck can I approach her to let her know I'm interested. I've been out of the dating game for a long time and was never really any good at talking to girls anyway. I thought you all could help. Well, right now the thing you have in common is boxing. Why not talk about that? Get an initial vibe from her to see where her head is at. If she seems interested wait a few days and then ask her what her interests are. If she seems responsive, ask her if you could take her for a smoothie or something else after training. The key is to see her initial vibe when you speak to her. If it doesn't seem like she is giving you an opening at least you can still be cordial without it being awkward. I know that a lot of times women don't want to be bothered when they are in the gym, it's all business. So just keep that in the back of your mind. Now get out there and show us something!
BettyBoop Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Maybe a simple: "I find you very attractive and I would like to get to know you better over a coffee sometime?". There is no ultimate pick up line but I always like to think that the truth works best...if you approached me with that comment and I thought you were attractive and not looking like a weirdo I'd probably agree to coffee.
Confusedguy81 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Maybe a simple: "I find you very attractive and I would like to get to know you better over a coffee sometime?". There is no ultimate pick up line but I always like to think that the truth works best...if you approached me with that comment and I thought you were attractive and not looking like a weirdo I'd probably agree to coffee. I like this one. Life is short so be forward. It also shows a level of confidence.
The Paper Knight Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 1) the age difference is too much to even consider talking to this girl no 2) how the heck can I approach her to let her know I'm interested. Hi, my names Charles, what is yours? At the end of the day I am a firm believer that woman choose the men they date. So she has to give YOU signals, such as eye contact or body signs to let you know SHE is interested. If so continue to say hi (rather nonchalantly or even ignore her) over the course of a week or two - then ask her out for a coffee. Good-luck
The Paper Knight Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Maybe a simple: "I find you very attractive and I would like to get to know you better over a coffee sometime?". The truth? There is no spoon! Don't come out with it too quick - size her up first and you will soon see her reaction.
The Paper Knight Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 The key is to see her initial vibe when you speak to her. If it doesn't seem like she is giving you an opening at least you can still be cordial without it being awkward. This is a skill you can apply anywhere.
sally4sara Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I've never gone to the gym to pick up a date, so the fact that she hasn't given you signals isn't really an indication that she is not interested. She probably just goes there with her head set on workout mode. It is best that you approach her prior to her starting her workout or, if you are ever around as she is leaving. It is always annoying to be in the middle of something you're doing for your own well being and get interrupted by some guy who thinks you're there just to advertise your sexuality. Avoid this vibe at all costs. It comes across as creepy sometimes. As a woman, I've always preferred the direct approach. I am direct when asking a guy out. In the past, I've had guys do the sneaky route when asking me to get some coffee, I get coffee with friends sometimes. I've been asked for what I thought was friendly coffee time just to have the guy get twisted up when I didn't understand it was his way of warming up to asking me out or thinking my agreeing to coffee meant we were on a date. So be clear about your attraction.
anny89 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 a) the age difference doesn't matter my partner is 22 years older than me and we are happy and i wouldn't trade her for the world. b) approach her with a hi and ask her how is her class going and see how it goes from there see if she sends you and *signals* and if she does ask her if she wants to meet up for a cup of coffee of smoothie since u guys are at the gym Good Luck
DustySaltus Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 a) the age difference doesn't matter my partner is 22 years older than me and we are happy and i wouldn't trade her for the world. b) approach her with a hi and ask her how is her class going and see how it goes from there see if she sends you and *signals* and if she does ask her if she wants to meet up for a cup of coffee of smoothie since u guys are at the gym Good Luck Well, from what I read in the other thread it seems that you are limited to smoothies and coffee right now anyway.
Author cdt76 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Thank you all. And I am pretty outgoing but it's a little odd. When I see her, I'm usually a sweaty (literally, shirt is soaked) after the class and it's not one of those times where I feel my most attractive! Confidence is key and I lack a little bit of it. I'm not a one liner type guy either. I'll feel her out and see if I can get a vibe.....I hate dating!
sally4sara Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Thank you all. And I am pretty outgoing but it's a little odd. When I see her, I'm usually a sweaty (literally, shirt is soaked) after the class and it's not one of those times where I feel my most attractive! Confidence is key and I lack a little bit of it. I'm not a one liner type guy either. I'll feel her out and see if I can get a vibe.....I hate dating! That can be hot on a guy! I mean, you're in the gym after all, it wouldn't be odd that you're sweaty.
Author cdt76 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 For some reason I always think girls want something witty and funny from a guy at first. Is this not true? And I'm not much of a coffee drinker and never had a smoothie! Can someone go ask this girl out for me! Ha! I feel like elementary school again...can't I just pass her a note!
Confusedguy81 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Thank you all. And I am pretty outgoing but it's a little odd. When I see her, I'm usually a sweaty (literally, shirt is soaked) after the class and it's not one of those times where I feel my most attractive! Confidence is key and I lack a little bit of it. I'm not a one liner type guy either. I'll feel her out and see if I can get a vibe.....I hate dating! It's normal to be nervous and fearful (happens to me all the time) but approaching her is half the battle. After that, use your wit and charm (every guy has it. Some just use it better than others).
DustySaltus Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 For some reason I always think girls want something witty and funny from a guy at first. Is this not true? And I'm not much of a coffee drinker and never had a smoothie! Can someone go ask this girl out for me! Ha! I feel like elementary school again...can't I just pass her a note! Dude you're a 39 year old boxer. ACT LIKE A MAN! Just be yourself, if you go down for the count so be it. But at least you got in the ring....ah, the metaphors.
Author cdt76 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 HA! That is so true, never thought of that. My first fight I got TKO'd with a broken nose...what's a little bruised ego right!
Confusedguy81 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Dude you're a 39 year old boxer. ACT LIKE A MAN! Just be yourself, if you go down for the count so be it. But at least you got in the ring....ah, the metaphors. Good metaphor. Im gonna steal it...
Rearden Metal Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 LOL spar with her and when she kicks your butt, be like "I totally let you win", then maybe cry. That should work!
tkgirl Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 HA! That is so true, never thought of that. My first fight I got TKO'd with a broken nose...what's a little bruised ego right! hmmm... broken noses can be sexy! it sounds like you need to get a little more confidence... that comes with experience but since you are 39 you should be there already! if not, then you may need to do a little "fake it 'til you make it". I don't know though... hitting on a girl at the gym that is that much younger than you... might not be the best idea. I am older now but do have vague memories of when I was in my 20's and guys in their late 30's seemed waaaay old to me and it always creeped me out when they would try to hit on me. Just being honest... the only way I can see this working is if you are super confident (not cocky) and look good for your age. Not saying 39 is old because I am older than that myself! but to a 20 something... age can be a huge factor. But then I could be way off.. wouldn't be the first time on here! Good Luck!!!
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