wierdmunky Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I don't think I'm chronically depressed, but I feel really low somedays where I just want to give up, and I don't know.. start over somewhere else. I'm getting lonely, but I know if I were to get a boyfriend I would want to settle, and slow down, and would feel restless. I'm having a hard time finding people to get close to. I'm surrounded by people, but haven't found a connection that is solid. The people that I meet, are nice enough, but I know they're fleeting, or more acquaintance-like. It could be just me though, but I seem to find the one's that share the same intellectual level are more interested in 'dating' which is cool, but I want to establish more friends. I just don't feel happy and light hearted enough to have an easy going talk. I'm so direct, and agenda-ish. I put on a smile though if that helps...
ComeUndone Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I dont know that I have much advice to offer but I do want to say that I understand how you feel. I suffer with some anxiety and depression myself and it seems to be situational rather than long-term. I, like you, sometimes feel like I want to start over, move out of here and establish myself in a new life, but that's not addressing the cause so moving likely won't help anyway. What I do to help my dep/anx: - Working out. It makes me feel physically/mentally better - Talk about what's on my mind with trusted friends or family - Talk to a therapist - Stay busy with work, hobbies and activities I enjoy Best of luck to you.
Ms. Joolie Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 (edited) When I have low energy days I have to get back in gear. There is a real maintenance to maintaining one's mood/energy. So I ask myself: Have I been eating well? (sticking to diet/taking in what's good for you so that your body is properly nourished and can function...) Am I tired? If so, why am I not getting enough sleep? Am I exercising regularly? Is there something specific (job situation, relationship) that is 'zapping away' my energy from being first and foremost on my well-being? Guess my main point is to first consider your well-being first. If you have that in check, then begin to look outside yourself to see what you can do to help the situation that's bringing you down. But do take positive action, and don't believe for one minute that you have to have these depressing days. Edited March 16, 2010 by Ms. Joolie
exoduse22 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 (edited) Reading this post my opinion is... "I'm getting lonely, but I know if I were to get a boyfriend I would want to settle, and slow down, and would feel restless." You really like the idea of a relationship, but don't like the idea of how to keep this relationship going. "I'm having a hard time finding people to get close to. I'm surrounded by people, but haven't found a connection that is solid. The people that I meet, are nice enough, but I know they're fleeting, or more acquaintance-like." "It could be just me though, but I seem to find the one's that share the same intellectual level are more interested in 'dating' which is cool, but I want to establish more friends. I just don't feel happy and light hearted enough to have an easy going talk. I'm so direct, and agenda-ish. I put on a smile though if that helps..." You want to be with people, with perfect friends, but you depressed because you could not find the friends you want to be with. Sure you have friends, but you feel they are not too interesting and fun to be with. You are depressed because you want an improvement in your social life and is not contented with your current friends. You feel that people you talk to are very kind, but they don't treat you as their real friend and you want the relationships you have to be closer. This might really work: - Go to social activities and meet new people you have never seen before and you can try socializing as much as you can and trying new things you have never tried before because you fear that the reaction of the people you know would be undesirable and would be unrepairable, so if you are in a place where no one knows you, you would not fear as much as where you have a lot of connections. You have nothing to lose and have a lot to gain. Edited April 12, 2010 by exoduse22
Author wierdmunky Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 This might really work: - Go to social activities and meet new people you have never seen before and you can try socializing as much as you can and trying new things you have never tried before because you fear that the reaction of the people you know would be undesirable and would be unrepairable, so if you are in a place where no one knows you, you would not fear as much as where you have a lot of connections. You have nothing to lose and have a lot to gain. thanks so much for this! actually it does work. I was battling with it though because I would ask am I really being true to myself by doing it, because I normally wouldn't. I would also worry about the 'what and how can i keep the relationship going thing' because I don't like hurting feelings, if they really aren't my thing. Coming from the other end of the spectrum, I wouldn't want to make anyone feel as I do when it comes to social stuff. So, they are kind probably partly because I am kind, and I look into them when I try to get to know them. The more I do go out, the less I fear about the unknown, and almost learning how to relax and enjoy myself. I felt like I had to be "happy" for the sake of others to not be a downer or else why go out. I'm starting to see the happy medium between caring about others, and caring about what they think. I do care what they think because I care about them. I know it sounds kind of wierd to people to say that even if a random stranger asked something of me, I'd happily do it, and still show that I care. And I'm not talking about having bad judgement in a dangerous situation or being a complete doormat, but digging deep and giving other's feelings some priority. Going out like you said, doing things I normally would reject and actually trying to enjoy it for discovering, and not looking at it so task oriented makes life a lot easier. The "list" of things to do become less like chores because I can appreciate every minute.
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