DolceVenganza Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 She's the partner/boss' daughter. I work in the same office, although I am not under his employ. I turn 30 in july; she turns 20 in october. I can already sense a crush is developing in one direction, possibly both. I have just finished a 5 year relationship. It probably should have gone on to marriage, but several years of fighting in the middle left me with far too many reservations to truly committ. The 'much younger girl' is very religious, christian, home-schooled, intelligent, beautiful, but young. Nearing 30, I see a landscape of young girls with babies, older women divorced with babies, or mid-20 girls who are quite used up and probably burnt out or broken from bad middle-aged relationships. Am I alone in this reality or are alot of guys seeing the same kinds of women around them? Many of the girls I dated have since been knocked up, but wear no ring, some even want to date again. My prior gf was great in many ways, but having spent years arguing, who knows. The new possible crush frightens me. She appears to be from a great family, although her own blog that I have read states she is bipolar. She is sweet. I try to keep everything on the level and friendly around the office while she works a seasonal job for us, but I think tonight it became apparent *something* is developing. On her way out, she made a point to say goodbye to me, to which the other partner, also not my employer, remarked that I got a special 'goodbye' from her. Her relationship JUST ended. She is very religious, with sprawling biblical quotes all over profile, blog, and makes a point to read the bible often. Where is this going? If you 'saw' this girl, you wouldn't think she was a religious zealot, this coming from a bad catholic who has no clue of his beliefs. She is short, cute, vivacious, and curvaceous. Wears a size 3 shoe, stands 4'11", has DD boobs, and curvy curvy cute. She's apparently very sweet from what I garner, but the partner - age - religion aspect scares me...to the point I do not want to move this along in a direction. On the other side of it all, I live with alot of regret at relationships that I never persued. I live with regret at not ending other relationships sooner, so I may be over thinking this? I could certainly be ahead of myself, but I am fielding opinions from people experienced in this area. In this hard and cold world, I would never begrudge the affections of another human being, especially as I feel I am heading toward that age of life long committment or life long soloness. Confused at 30 would be an appropriate feeling... Thanks.
CarrieT Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 One of my best and dearest friends was exactly in your shoes; he was 29 and she was 19. They had a 4-year relationship and he was preparing to buy her a ring. For her first two years in college she lived closed to him and they were together almost every weekend. For her third year of college, she went to a school an hour-and-a-half away and -- guess what? -- yep, she got caught up in what life was like for other 22-year olds and she dumped him, unaware of the impending marriage proposal. He would drive out to see her every weekend (or she would drive back to see him), but that didn't take into account those weeknights when she was meeting guys her own age. Another word of warning: SHE IS YOUR BOSSES DAUGHTER. Do you seriously want to jeopardize your relationship with your boss that is your livelihood?
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Odds are that if you 'pursue' this woman you will get nowhere and run the chance of ruining your career in the process. 1) Boss's daughter STRIKE ONE 2) Way younger STRIKE TWO 3) Very religious STRIKE THREE Find a girl who's not so far out of your league.
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 STRIKE FOUR) BI-POLAR You breezed over that like it is nothing. It makes for a difficult relationship. You only see this girl in a favorable light which means you aren't being objective or realistic. Some of the wildest people I know are preachers children.
Silver_star Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Your in porn fantasy world where she is perfect..and you are mysterious and older to her..she represents the opposite of the commitment you just recently got out of. Snap out of it.
mrkleen Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 This will NEVER work. You are at two completely different stages of life. 10 years might be do-able in 10 years....when you are 40 and she is 30, but not now. Sorry.
Author DolceVenganza Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 One of my best and dearest friends was exactly in your shoes; he was 29 and she was 19. They had a 4-year relationship and he was preparing to buy her a ring. For her first two years in college she lived closed to him and they were together almost every weekend. For her third year of college, she went to a school an hour-and-a-half away and -- guess what? -- yep, she got caught up in what life was like for other 22-year olds and she dumped him, unaware of the impending marriage proposal. He would drive out to see her every weekend (or she would drive back to see him), but that didn't take into account those weeknights when she was meeting guys her own age. Another word of warning: SHE IS YOUR BOSSES DAUGHTER. Do you seriously want to jeopardize your relationship with your boss that is your livelihood? Confirmation, NOT my bosses daughter. Yes, there is a slight conflict, given that he is part of our office network BUT not involved in mine. I appreciate the replies. Much of what was said has echoed my thoughts. She's a sweet thing, but I've had little to do with such girls. Very religious - religious quotes abound her walls and life. Self-proclaimed bipolar on her own blog. Yes, perhaps a red flag, but I had wondered if the religious aspects balanced it. Very mature for her age; I've had better conversations with her than girls 10 years older. No, there are no pornographic fantasies present. She's cute; what was appealing was the combination of her looks, brains, and attitude. I often feel like a character in a Chuck Palahniuk book. We all assume we will live some 'normal' life, but it is often anything but... That, and I didn't want to close myself off from it...it's certainly one of those volatile situations that if it did ever occur, it would have to be all or nothing, not just simple dating or banging around. And yes I have dated as young as 20, so I know the risks with flighty girls, which is why I normally don't, without exception. It's also why I have forged a more 'traditional' viewpoint on relationships and marriage.
make me believe Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Dude...you are almost 30 and she is a TEENAGER. You seem to be putting her on a pedastal and it's weird how you describe other women as "used up." Wtf does that mean?? I also find it funny how you claim it's not about her looks & there's no kind of pornographic/fantasy element to this situation but yet you feel the need to tell us her bra size.. She is way too young for you. The fact that she is partner/boss's daughter, super religious, and bi-polar are icing on the cake. Plus, if you're not religious then it's doubtful that she'd give you a chance anyway.
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