lovelydivorcee Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Husband....yep...I had a really bad moment of weakness. Ended up in the sack with the ex-hubby. Mind you, moments afterwards I'm feeling disgusted...I take notice of the momentos from a trip he took with another woman last month. I wanted to just disappear. Was I there under the pretense we were back together? No. I was there after a nice couple of days/dates together and I still love him. I settled for those few moments as opposed to nothing. Of course when I brought up the trinkets, other women etc,. I was reminded that I ALWAYS mess things up for us and I have no real right to be upset about anything because we were divorced. Of course something in me felt the need to remind him that I'm the one who truly loves him and he should be with me and our children...only to be shunned and humiliated. So, I sulked and cried my way back home. I have fallen to an all time low...
soheartbroken Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I'm sorry. This is awful. I don't know your story at all, but all I can offer is my sympathy. You did what felt right at the time, and now all you can do is learn from it.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I am so sorry, I can completely understand the need to draw close to someone you have shared such an emotional history with. It is such a shame to reinvest (even just for a few minutes) in something that is really going to hurt
Author lovelydivorcee Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 I don't know what it is about my ex that I can't break loose. Am I just a glutton for punishment and humiliation? I feel so weak and desperate. I keep praying that one day I can wake up and feel nothing for him. Despite all the pain and heartache, I still love him.
reboot Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Real love doesn't go away easily. Don't beat yourself up.
BearMox Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 well that'll confuse things a touch. go NC on him and start planning your successful life without him.
just_some_guy Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I'd estimate that a good portion of the divorced people I know have done this more than once. Don't beat yourself up over it.
spriggig Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 ...I was there after a nice couple of days/dates together and I still love him. I settled for those few moments as opposed to nothing. Thank you for sharing so candidly, it helps those coming behind you to know the traps that lay ahead.
Author lovelydivorcee Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Its an extreme emotional rollercoaster when dealing with my ex. This week we're had to had a great amount of contact due to our children. Sporting events, etc. And the added contact doesn't make things any easier for me. The kids love to see us interact and I actually hate that. This is just not a good situation to be in at all.
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