How do you get "pumped up" when you're out for a night on the town?

March 16, 2010

I've heard that in order to attract a woman in a specific location, your behavior and demeanor much match that of your surroundings. If you're in a bouncing club, you need to be high energy or else women will feel bummed out by someone who's not as active or having a good time as everyone else. Likewise if you're in a cafe or book store, you need to be low energy or else women will think you have no social mores or self control.

Now I've always been to a chill, mellow guy. When I go out to the bars and the clubs however, and there's flashing strobe lights and blaring techno everywhere, and people are jumping and dancing and pounding shots and hollering, it's really hard to raise my energy level to match that.

Maybe it's because I usually go after work, and by myself. Still, I'll usually take down a redbull and vodka in a single swig and even that doesn't get me pumped up. It's just so hard to get excited when you're out on your own and you don't have anyone to encourage or challenge you to interact with other people. When I go to a bar and there are tons of hot and beautiful people having a good time everywhere, I still really just want to lean into the bar or against a wall somewhere.

Maybe THAT'S the reason I haven't been meeting any girls at the clubs? Anyway, how can become more outgoing and active and less passive when I go to the bar and clubs?

March 16, 2010

Maybe THAT'S the reason I haven't been meeting any girls at the clubs? Anyway, how can become more outgoing and active and less passive when I go to the bar and clubs?

Wingman. Preferably one who is more outgoing and active. Preferably Barney Stinson...

March 16, 2010

God damn it! I HATE that loveshack doesn't allow you to edit your posts for spelling corrections.

Let me redo this.

I've heard that in order to attract a woman in a specific location, your behavior and demeanor must match that of your surroundings. If you're in a bouncing club, you need to be high energy or else women will feel bummed out by someone who's not as active or having a good time as everyone else. Likewise if you're in a cafe or book store, you need to be low energy or else women will think you have no social mores or self control.

Now I've always been to a chill, mellow guy. When I go out to the bars and the clubs however, even if there's flashing strobe lights, blaring techno, and people jumping, dancing, pounding shots and hollering everywhere, it's really hard to raise my energy level to match that.

Maybe it's because I usually go after work, and by myself. Still, I'll usually take down a redbull and vodka in a single swig when I get there and even that doesn't get me pumped up. It's just so hard to get excited when you're out on your own and you don't have anyone to encourage or challenge you to interact with other people. When I go to a bar and there are tons of hot and beautiful people having a good time everywhere, I still really just want to lean into the bar or against a wall somewhere.

Maybe THAT'S the reason I haven't been meeting any girls at the clubs? Anyway, how can I become more outgoing and active and less passive when I go to the bar and clubs?

March 16, 2010

Uh...I think those two posts were identical...

But my advice remains the same...

March 16, 2010

Wingman. Preferably one who is more outgoing and active. Preferably Barney Stinson...

Yes, and yes.

Hahaha.

March 16, 2010

The only way for you to get pumped up about going to a bar, withouyt jumping off the walls, is to know what the results will be of approaching the girls. If you are excited about the results you will get, you will naturally be pumped up.

So you have to actually talk to the girls first...see get good results....and then when you go back you know what will happen, you'll be excited.

Are you ever going to actually talk to women, or will you just keep looking for reasons to not talk to them?

I just want to know because you never listen to advise.

March 16, 2010

I would suggest you get some darn good drugs. You have to be on the venue's drug of choice. Coffee shops it's caffeine, bars it's booze, clubs it's coke or MDMA. The person who most epitomizes the venue's drug is the one who is most visible and attractive. Read that sentence 3 more times to fully comprehend.

March 16, 2010

I've heard that in order to attract a woman in a specific location, your behavior and demeanor much match that of your surroundings. If you're in a bouncing club, you need to be high energy or else women will feel bummed out by someone who's not as active or having a good time as everyone else. Likewise if you're in a cafe or book store, you need to be low energy or else women will think you have no social mores or self control.

Now I've always been to a chill, mellow guy. When I go out to the bars and the clubs however, and there's flashing strobe lights and blaring techno everywhere, and people are jumping and dancing and pounding shots and hollering, it's really hard to raise my energy level to match that.

Maybe it's because I usually go after work, and by myself. Still, I'll usually take down a redbull and vodka in a single swig and even that doesn't get me pumped up. It's just so hard to get excited when you're out on your own and you don't have anyone to encourage or challenge you to interact with other people. When I go to a bar and there are tons of hot and beautiful people having a good time everywhere, I still really just want to lean into the bar or against a wall somewhere.

Maybe THAT'S the reason I haven't been meeting any girls at the clubs? Anyway, how can become more outgoing and active and less passive when I go to the bar and clubs?

RED BULL? Listen to good tunes, shower and groom, do whatever you do that makes you feel confident and sexy...and then go.

March 16, 2010

The only way for you to get pumped up about going to a bar, withouyt jumping off the walls, is to know what the results will be of approaching the girls. If you are excited about the results you will get, you will naturally be pumped up.

So you have to actually talk to the girls first...see get good results....and then when you go back you know what will happen, you'll be excited.

Are you ever going to actually talk to women, or will you just keep looking for reasons to not talk to them?

I just want to know because you never listen to advise.

You should listen to this.

March 16, 2010

Steps to getting pumped up

1) Call your best wing man

2) Roll a big spliff

3) Get in your pimpin ride, and throw in some Nine Inch Nails or Tool

4) Find the club/bar with the least amount of pickup trucks or jeeps in the parking lot

Now I'M in the mood to go out now

March 16, 2010

I've heard that in order to attract a woman in a specific location, your behavior and demeanor much match that of your surroundings. If you're in a bouncing club, you need to be high energy or else women will feel bummed out by someone who's not as active or having a good time as everyone else. Likewise if you're in a cafe or book store, you need to be low energy or else women will think you have no social mores or self control.

Now I've always been to a chill, mellow guy. When I go out to the bars and the clubs however, and there's flashing strobe lights and blaring techno everywhere, and people are jumping and dancing and pounding shots and hollering, it's really hard to raise my energy level to match that.

Maybe it's because I usually go after work, and by myself. Still, I'll usually take down a redbull and vodka in a single swig and even that doesn't get me pumped up. It's just so hard to get excited when you're out on your own and you don't have anyone to encourage or challenge you to interact with other people. When I go to a bar and there are tons of hot and beautiful people having a good time everywhere, I still really just want to lean into the bar or against a wall somewhere.

Maybe THAT'S the reason I haven't been meeting any girls at the clubs? Anyway, how can become more outgoing and active and less passive when I go to the bar and clubs?

I totally understand, sometimes ill go to the club and not have any energy in order to talk to girls, or I just stand there and not do crap. But sometimes ill go in all pumped up and ready to talk to girls. I think the first one is because I was sober as a bird, and when I got drunk, I loosened up and didn't care about rejection. The rule is, 1 in 10 girls that you talk to will get with you. So I guess my advice is to go in to the club drunk? and just have a good time with your buddies and gf's.

Thebob

March 16, 2010

I use to have a mixed CD of songs that got made me feel sexy and fun. I'd play it while getting showered and dressed in front of the mirror, trying on different clothes.

Admittedly, this might not work for the fellas - but who knows?

March 16, 2010

Nothing wrong with not being able to pick up girls in clubs and bars. For the most part, those are the most shallow places to meet people – and even generally nice and intelligent women will often act much more superficial and picky in that kind of setting.

If you are striking out, or simply not even getting up the courage to make a move while you are in those kind of places – I have to ask why you keep going back?

Try a different setting – or just go to a bar with you friends and don’t try at all. Usually when I am on the prowl, I go home alone….but when I am just out having fun, laughing with friends etc….I end up meeting people.

March 16, 2010

Now I've always been to a chill, mellow guy. When I go out to the bars and the clubs however, and there's flashing strobe lights and blaring techno everywhere, and people are jumping and dancing and pounding shots and hollering, it's really hard to raise my energy level to match that.

If you are a chill, mellow guy then you are a chill, mellow guy. Unless you want to change your ways, just play with what you got.

Find a couple of other guys to go with you. If you can create a group of guys, that would be great. Not very often will a girl at the club go over and stay alone with one guy. She's there to be social and have fun. SO.... it will be easier to invite the girl over to where you are at if you are in a group of people.

OR... you can learn how to start conversations with women and jump in their party. You will have to be more outgoing for this one though.

OR... perhaps a club scene isn't where you are going to meet your kind of women. Consider what social setting would be best for you to socialize and get in sync with, and go there.

But don't worry about not having high energy at a club. Just be you and be sociable.

March 17, 2010

The only way for you to get pumped up about going to a bar, withouyt jumping off the walls, is to know what the results will be of approaching the girls. If you are excited about the results you will get, you will naturally be pumped up.

So you have to actually talk to the girls first...see get good results....and then when you go back you know what will happen, you'll be excited.

Are you ever going to actually talk to women, or will you just keep looking for reasons to not talk to them?

I just want to know because you never listen to advise.

I HAVE been talking to girls. Haven't you been reading any of my posts?

Granted, most of the time, I panic and stay quiet once I get there but on the occasions I try, these club girls either totally ignore me and walk off, or they stick around but act aloof and snotty and disinterested (1-word answers, not asking things about me back, stone-faced, etc)

I really don't understand it. I understand that a lot of girls have their guard up because at every club, there are SOME guys who are too drunk and aggressive, but I really don't understand how or why they can act this way to every guy. I'm not being pushy or aggressive. I'm not trying to holler at them. I'm just trying to meet them and get to know them.

I really don't understand why some girls who may be really kind and open people during the day can grow such an attitude when they go out at night.

March 17, 2010

The rule is, 1 in 10 girls that you talk to will get with you. So I guess my advice is to go in to the club drunk? and just have a good time with your buddies and gf's.

Thebob

Is that reliably true? 1 in 10? And define "get with you"

March 17, 2010

If you are striking out, or simply not even getting up the courage to make a move while you are in those kind of places – I have to ask why you keep going back?

I've asked this before; WHERE else can you find such a high concentration of young, attractive women than in bars and clubs?

March 17, 2010

I've asked this before; WHERE else can you find such a high concentration of young' date=' attractive women than in bars and clubs?[/quote']

Question I have is do you like it there even if you don’t get any attention from women?

For example, I have been a DJ for 20+ years – so when I am in a club, I am still having fun listening to the DJ and meeting other industry friends even if I am not chatting up women all night long. Same with bars, I usually go to places where I get to know people – and then I am chatting it up with friends and acquaintances all night – and if I happen to strike up a conversation with a woman, so be it.

I think the idea that you go to a place that is foreign to you, with music you are not that into, and people that are pretentious and rude – and then feel too uncomfortable to make a move on a woman is completely understandable. You need to find more of a comfort zone if you want to come out of your shell.

As for the where else to go, there are TONS of places that fit the bill

Coffee Shops, Church, Sports (join a co-ed softball or volleyball league), comedy shows, jazz clubs, poetry readings, wine or beer tastings, join a fitness group or run a few 5k races.

Above all, keep your head up. Just the fact that you are exploring these things is a great first step to breaking out of your shell and finding a more comfortable setting.

March 18, 2010

Question I have is do you like it there even if you don’t get any attention from women?

I like the environment, the atmosphere, and the music (I enjoy techno/trance/electronic/chill music, and places with ambient lighting and ultra-modern decor)

For example, I have been a DJ for 20+ years – so when I am in a club, I am still having fun listening to the DJ and meeting other industry friends even if I am not chatting up women all night long. Same with bars, I usually go to places where I get to know people – and then I am chatting it up with friends and acquaintances all night – and if I happen to strike up a conversation with a woman, so be it.

I think the idea that you go to a place that is foreign to you, with music you are not that into, and people that are pretentious and rude – and then feel too uncomfortable to make a move on a woman is completely understandable. You need to find more of a comfort zone if you want to come out of your shell.

Like I said, I genuinely like the places and the music; it's the people there. How do I break into that group?

As for the where else to go, there are TONS of places that fit the bill

Coffee Shops, Church, Sports (join a co-ed softball or volleyball league), comedy shows, jazz clubs, poetry readings, wine or beer tastings, join a fitness group or run a few 5k races.

Above all, keep your head up. Just the fact that you are exploring these things is a great first step to breaking out of your shell and finding a more comfortable setting.

I said this in another post, but I work during the day, so I really don't have time for the gym and sports (and I won't date a church-girl) and even if I did, that's really not an option where I live. I live in a pretty rural suburb of only a few thousand people (mostly families). There's really no semblance of a 20-something social scene here. I have to drive 70-80 miles to the city for nightlife.

I'm open to comedy shows, but being a musician, I've been to several jazz shows, and I'm always consistently disappointed by the low turnout of young women. It's usually older men who frequent jazz events. Wine tastings usually draw an older crowd (no 20-somethings again) And poetry-readings are magnets for snotty and pretentious hipsters, and I know for a fact that hipster-girls are far worse than club-girls in terms of attitude and being dismissive.

I WANT to learn to meet girls in bars and clubs. It's just, how do I break into that group and scene?

Sign In

How do you get "pumped up" when you're out for a night on the town?

Recommended Posts

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

USMCHokie

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

USMCHokie

sigurpol

boogieboy

Tnerforireyeh

Silver_star

Wallace1

sigurpol

Thebob

sally4sara

mrkleen

Ms. Joolie

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

mrkleen

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...