Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So for those men out there that date a woman and it is made clear that they are a couple maybe even live together and yet continue to pursue other women on the side...why cant you focus on something in front of you? Why dont you be honest to the woman your with? Why do you need more sexual attention if your already getting sex and love at home? (the same can be said for females..but my question is directed at men) Women: if you were approached by an attractive man who was in a relationship and openly told you he was in a relationship but found you incredible attractive and wanted to have a night of fun, would you? Also..if not, do you feel it is your place or right to tell his girlfriend or wife what he requested? Just out of curiousity...I had a guy with a girlfriend approach me and wanted to get physical...i turned him down and he didnt seem surprised but I know hes going to keep puruing other women and cheat on his girlfriend...I dont feel i need to tell her but I also know its a matter of time before she finds out on her own..feel bad about her wasted time though.
sally4sara Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Guys who have GF/wife might as well be Ken dolls for all I'm concerned. They are not even seen as sexual entities by me.
Author Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 regardless of their attractiveness I can not encourage and sleep with a man who had commitments with another woman, end of story
OceanTropic Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Why on earth would I go to his wife or gf? That's none of my business. If I am incredibly attracted, and single, I would probably sleep with him. If he wanted a relationship, I probably wouldn't consider it. If he pursues other women while in a relationship, then being in a relationship with me wouldn't change anything, only that I would be the poor girlfriend waiting at home while my bf goes out to look for other women. I don't know why men do that, probably because they settled. If they were truly happy, they would go home to their wives.
sagetalk Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 When girls stop swooning over unfaithful jerk type males, then they will stop being unfaithful. Until then, they are gonna get with every girl they can. Why? Because women let them get away with it all the time. They have no incentive to change.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 When girls stop swooning over unfaithful jerk type males, then they will stop being unfaithful. Until then, they are gonna get with every girl they can. Why? Because women let them get away with it all the time. They have no incentive to change. Well said. The OP is generalizing most men as the "jerk" type. When in fact most men are not cheaters but if you look at most men woman are attracted to then there is definitely a higher ratio of jerks.
Wallace1 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Well said. The OP is generalizing most men as the "jerk" type. When in fact most men are not cheaters but if you look at most men woman are attracted to then there is definitely a higher ratio of jerks. Its also the "wanting what you can't have" syndrome. Every time I have a GF, all these women in my life that have never given me the time of day seemingly come out of the woodwork giving me blatant signals/propositions. I don't act on them, but I can see how it'd be easy to do so.
sagetalk Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Its also the "wanting what you can't have" syndrome. Every time I have a GF, all these women in my life that have never given me the time of day seemingly come out of the woodwork giving me blatant signals/propositions. I don't act on them, but I can see how it'd be easy to do so. Most guys face this, but what shows you are a superior male is when you reject these girls and honor the relationship you have with your girl. That is the kind of man that should never sleep alone.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 A guy who cheats isn't worth having, and a girl that sleeps knowing fully well he's in a relationship are termed " sluts". The only we can do is make good choices and judgments when it comes to picking an SO. Of course even if we have good judgment doesn't necessarily mean that somewhere down the road, a person won't change.
Author Silver_star Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Well said. The OP is generalizing most men as the "jerk" type. When in fact most men are not cheaters but if you look at most men woman are attracted to then there is definitely a higher ratio of jerks. No im not blanket generalizing. I said directly in my posted thread that the same could be said for females...i even said "for those men out there" so its not generalizing at all really...just a question for those who can answer it. Thanks.
Author Silver_star Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Most guys face this, but what shows you are a superior male is when you reject these girls and honor the relationship you have with your girl. That is the kind of man that should never sleep alone. Agreed. Temptation can always present itself, but if you honor and respect eachother then it should not be a problem
Author Silver_star Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Why on earth would I go to his wife or gf? That's none of my business. If I am incredibly attracted, and single, I would probably sleep with him. If he wanted a relationship, I probably wouldn't consider it. If he pursues other women while in a relationship, then being in a relationship with me wouldn't change anything, only that I would be the poor girlfriend waiting at home while my bf goes out to look for other women. I don't know why men do that, probably because they settled. If they were truly happy, they would go home to their wives. I was thinking some women may feel morally obligated to tell the woman that the man she is spending all her time, emotions and life with is unfaithful and disloyal to her. I would like to know if my man was cheating on me, and the girl told me...i would be grateful in the long term. Sometimes it seems inappropriate (if nothing progressed) to say anything to the other woman because you dont know her, but what if you did know her (a friends boyfriend tried to bed you etc). It creates a moral dillema. You would sleep with a guy knowing full well that he is already in a "commited" relationship with another woman?
Wallace1 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Most guys face this, but what shows you are a superior male is when you reject these girls and honor the relationship you have with your girl. That is the kind of man that should never sleep alone. Agreed, unfortunately for them, not all women realize the catch I am. Also, to more directly answer OP's question, guys doing stuff like that are either "jerks" as you say, or are spineless enough to cheat rather than end it with the girl they're with for fear of being alone.
carhill Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 One gender-neutral word: Boundaries. OP, yes, I've been approached, as a single man, as a married man and now as a divorcing man. It was only very recently that I had to face your question. My answer is that I would not accept (and did not promote) such a proposition and I would not inform the person's spouse (in my case whom I've known for years). Their M is *their* business. I mind my own fences. They mind theirs. There's decades of time and a lot of social investment tied up in those fences. I take that reality seriously. Women can be a bit more subtle than men, but kissing and physical approaches are good indicators that they're not interested in hearing about the weather. I don't recall ever *hearing* a woman tell me directly she found me attractive, though a few married friends have skated the edge.
LovelyDaze Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 If I knew the guy had someone else at home, it is very easy for me to say,"No Thank You-Bye" I have no business intentionally hurting another girl's feelings just so I can have sex with her BF. What people need to do in relationships is establish real boundaries. You have got to know what you will or won't allow and the other person needs to be honest in telling you what they are all about.
sweetjasmine Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Women: if you were approached by an attractive man who was in a relationship and openly told you he was in a relationship but found you incredible attractive and wanted to have a night of fun, would you? No way. Not only do I consider it wrong, it's also a huge turn-off. Also..if not, do you feel it is your place or right to tell his girlfriend or wife what he requested? Probably not, but it depends on the situation. If the gf were a good friend of mine and she had only known and been dating the guy for a short while, I think I'd say something. In other cases, maybe not. Tough choice. Some people might want to be told, others might not.
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