jg7 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Ok so I've been in a ldr with my girlfriend now for over 8 months, and for the most part everything has been great. But sometimes because of my personality and the way I am, I've caused her to think I don't care about her. I'm a very passive guy, and usually have a 'wait and see' approach to things, I'm not exactly a man of action. So because of this, a lot of times I'll slack off on important things involving us, which leads to her thinking I dont care enough. We've had basically the same conversation about this many times, and recently shes been very upset about it. So Im wondering how I can say that I'm sorry and let her know that I truly mean it. Simply saying that I'm sorry for how I've been and that I'll change wont cut it, since the same thing has been said before. She means everything to me and I want her to know that I care and truly want to change. And I know a good way to show that I'm sorry is to actually do the important things when they need to be done, but besides that Im just wondering if anyone has any tips or sweet ideas to do in the meantime.
wien7777 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Just.. stop being passive. It hurts her to think that you don't care, and based on your behaviour- what else is she supposed to assume? If she's good to you, let her know that- women, as different as it may be from your personal wants and needs, basically thrive off of knowing how much they mean to their SO. You might think you need tips on how to proceed, but in reality, you don't. You know if she needs to hear about your feasible future together and whether you're really invested in making it happen, or just more simple things like that you love her. So.. just tell her. And keep in mind- in a world that's so full of bollocks everywhere you turn, don't take a person who is good to you for granted. Let down your guard and make her happy. chances are it will only make you happier too.
sugarmomma Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Action speaks louder than words. "Do-so" is more important than "say-so."
Arabella Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 OP, I was involved in a LDR with someone who behaved in the way you described. I knew he loved me, but I also felt neglected and uncared for all the time because of his passive behavior. Ultimately, this was a contributing factor to the relationship failing, and our attempt at reconciliation falling through recently. If you love her, show it to her. Don't tell her you're sorry and are going to change because she's just going to roll her eyes (God knows I did every time he said that). Like sugarmomma said, actions speak louder than words. Trust me, she will notice the difference! Just become more proactive in contacting her, tell her how you feel about things (good and bad). In short, open up to her and don't let her be the only driving force of the relationship. Best of luck, Arabella
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