enchanted771 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 This guy i have been seeing is a bad communicator. I am trying to figure out how to reach him in a non-confrontational way. We are supposed to get together this week, but he has something to do for school, which i knew ahead of time. I guess he didnt know how hectic it was gonna be, and i could tell yesterday he was feeling nervous about it. So, he told me he was feeling sick bla bla bla. So i said if your trying to get out of seeing me, just tell me, i wont be mad. The way i worded that was wrong, but i knew what he was doing. So i called him, and tried to talk to him and he starts getting all emotional and didnt even want to discuss it. So, i stayed rational and finally calmed him down. He admitted that he is stressed about this school thing and does want to see me, but it depends how things go in the next day or two, and he doesnt want me to get mad at him. I knew from the getgo this was gonna be a bad week for us to see each other. I said, no i wont be mad i just want you to be straight with me. If this week is bad, we will get together next week. You know how some guys are though, they will make up something so that you dont get mad. And even though i told him he can just be straight with me, i know its going to take more than one time saying that for it to sink in. This was our problem in the past. How do i make him understand this? I know his ex was a control freak, so i guess that might be why he just dismisses it and doesnt want any confrontation, but i believe communication is the key to making anything work.
threebyfate Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Imagine being with this guy 5 - 10 years down the line, where you're juggling a job and two kids, where you don't have time to pander to his inability to communicate. What do you think will be the outcome? As for his ex being a major control freak, where there's smoke, there's fire. Now apply the reverse of what he's said to you, since you know how passive-aggressive he is.
Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Unfortunately you cant make someone a good communicator if they dont have the same desire to communicate with you. You have told him what YOU need i presume in order to satisfy your need for communication with him...if he doesnt meet your needs id consider taking a break...because it doesnt sound like hes ready for a relationship that involves commitment and communication
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