Lucy_b Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 After a month split with my partner and plenty of talkin and me trying to avoid any kind of contact with in the last two weeks of startin a new job and switching my number. We met in a park with the dog ( cute dog by the way ) after loads of emails saying how unhappy and empty it was without me and I made a huge mistake pun I think I should be with you I know im not goin to find better else where. -not true there are loads of lovely people out there it's just finding them - I left the situation saying don't mess me around and walked off with out lookin back. To which I recived a phone call when I got in beggin me to work things out and go slow. Since then I have noticed myself being withdrawn from atemptin any kind of effort as before I was the one doing all the running around. When it comes to spending time I don't go out of my way. When my partner is moaning over something I walk off or turn my atention to something else unless it is serious. I no longer make the first move to being intamate. I dont wait around for phone calls like I use to. As I use to be the one doing all the running. Of late I been trying to work out if I have cold feet or loosing my intrest in my partner. How do I deal with the brick wall im building up I admit I am scared of being hurt again or going through the same things. Should I talk to my partner about it?
deux ex machina Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Of late I been trying to work out if I have cold feet or loosing my intrest in my partner. How do I deal with the brick wall im building up I admit I am scared of being hurt again or going through the same things. Should I talk to my partner about it? Your post wasn't an easy one to read. I went through a similar experience. First, the relationship was an unbalanced one before - you'll want to address the balance. About the wall, talking to your partner... Yes! A vehement yes! By all means, I think you should talk about it with your partner. It seems you've hit a tipping point of sorts. You can feel it happening...and it is entirely understandable that it's happened, but now it's really time to try and regain the intimacy and trust you once shared. If you feel you can, I wouldn't wait another day.
Tony T Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Sounds like you're totally over it. However, you won't really know for sure until you make it official. If you ever truly cared for this person there will be a period of mourning after a break up despite the feeling you describe here. You may very well be trying to cover up your true feelings to seem strong and over it. I do think this relationship is completely over. Make the break official and then go through the emotional stuff with the help of friends and/or therapists and move on. If you're going through the motions of doing all the stuff you talk about above, the relationship is problematic no matter what. It's OVER!
Author Lucy_b Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Thank you for the reply most helpful I don't want to hassle my partner askin the same question like a broken lp. are you sure you are serious about this?. I'm lookin for signs to say yes I can see that you are trying as my partner told me that a relationship was not what they wanted but now wants to try again and has made a huge mistake. I'm not clear on what this mistake is it has never been brought up even though I asked was there someone else on the break you was seeing or hoping to get to know my partner made it very clear there was no one. Even if there was I would not have been upset or angry I would have simply continued as normal about my day to day life with out my partner in it. I just want to see that there is a comitment to workin things out. that im not being taken for a walk round the block.
Author Lucy_b Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Sounds like you're totally over it. However, you won't really know for sure until you make it official. If you ever truly cared I love my partner dearly althoug at times my partner can be a sod I know this as I put up with the burps and wind in the bed sheets and clothes on the floor and the toothpaste in the sink and all the other pet peves even dribble! And for the month with out my partner I sulked and would not let myself fall into a rut of being down and unhappy.
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