Author samprez Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 OFG. You are right. I demonstrated a behavioral inconsistency on LS. Therefore I'm also likely to commit a crime too. C'mon. I was upset at the last postings because the anger of people like you turned my advice seeking into defensive posturing. I wanted to affirm that those innocent non invasive site visits escalated. That's it. Sorry to disappoint your arm chair analysis. We are all strangers out here and only part of who we are presents. I am very pleased that I've ignored the site visits and I have zero desire to interact with her or her h or upset my w further. This is my fault and I'll manage through it to protect my wife and family. Got it? OFG, I won't posture about you like you have about me.
Author samprez Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Been answered by me about 100 times since I started posting a year plus ago. Do your research. Also answered your other questions. You don't want to respect the power and destruction of an EA; I can't help that. Sorry to let you down. I am quite aware of the issues I created and what it did.
Spark1111 Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I thought you were done posting here. I mention this because observing behavioral inconsistency with someone who has been unfaithful is important in determining trust in the future. Why don't you just put an end to all the BS once and for all. You know and your wife knows. Call her out on it. Email her H and cc her and your wife and be done with it. I think you get an ego boost by all this and that you're not emotionally done with this woman. C'mon OGN...this is unfair. You especially know the potential damage of a lingering or malingering xAP. Samprez is one of the good guys....He has posted in length about his affair, his mistakes, and the painful steps to make it up to his wife and family. He, like all of us, just wanted NC to stay NC. Now her "curiosity" has turned into a voice mail message, which opens up the whole can of worms again. I think he is more than done. I think he is pissed, and rightfully so. If I knew my fWS OW was stalking him or trying to view his sites, (not uncommon by the way) I'd be half crazy AGAIN. Who wants to set recovery back in this manner? Someone with no regard for the xMM/MW, their BS and their marital relationship. I do not understand the animosity displayed by you and others on this board towards him. He was right about it, fercryingoutloud! She is trying to break NC.
Spark1111 Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 How about a response to my above comment? Cinnamon....I like and respect you too. But please read the back story of a poster before passing comments. There is nothing worse than posting a painful situation , seeking advice and support, and having someone judge you without all the facts.
OFGnomore Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 (edited) C'mon OGN...this is unfair. You especially know the potential damage of a lingering or malingering xAP. Samprez is one of the good guys....He has posted in length about his affair, his mistakes, and the painful steps to make it up to his wife and family. He, like all of us, just wanted NC to stay NC. Now her "curiosity" has turned into a voice mail message, which opens up the whole can of worms again. I think he is more than done. I think he is pissed, and rightfully so. If I knew my fWS OW was stalking him or trying to view his sites, (not uncommon by the way) I'd be half crazy AGAIN. Who wants to set recovery back in this manner? Someone with no regard for the xMM/MW, their BS and their marital relationship. I do not understand the animosity displayed by you and others on this board towards him. He was right about it, fercryingoutloud! She is trying to break NC. I'm not out to "punish" Samprez. I've read his history because the whole web visits by xOP were similar to mine. But if you read his former postings, there were some that struck a major ick factor with me. Like how he couldn't believe his xOP could hold out so long w/ no contact. And how he felt he needed to reach out to her to apologize via email - again inconsistencies. I mean if he really wants all this to stop he should proactively do something about it. Like you did, like I did. Yes it may initially stir it up but long term it probably is what needs to be done to shut the door, once and for all. Here's a sample dialog:Dear XOP, (with a cc to her H and his W) My wife and I are aware of your visits and your most recent voice mail. I am asking you to stop all and future contact . I have moved past this painful period of my life and hope soon you can too. If you should persist, I will take formal measures to protect my family. "Samprez" No anger from me Samprez, just don't understand why your wasting the forum's time in analyzing web visits and a voice mail. So what if your XOP is mortified or p*ssed by this? Do you think your wife will stop you and soften your message to her??? You need to put up a firm and impenetrable wall. Slam the door, and slam it again shut on your XOP. She'll catch on. By "ignoring" it at this point, it will escalate and more than likely into the additional pain that you're trying to avoid. Edited June 15, 2010 by OFGnomore
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