aj-male Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) I guess this would be considered the usual whining. I’m sorry. I’m new here and need to let out a little. long long story to bring me up to this, but my question is, how do I break up and make it stick? How do I avoid the depression? She is no god for me and gives doesn’t give 1% and asks for 110% and even though I am unimaginably supportive and there for her, I have dignity and some basic rules that are common for a man and should be and is respected by women all over the world. It’s not working out but we lie to each other and stay together because we are used to each other. I want out of it, but a few hours without her bring me to my knees. How do I deal with it? Edited March 15, 2010 by aj-male non
Confusedguy81 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) Breakups suck but they are necessary if things arent working out. Best thing to do to deal with it is distract yourself:exercise (works great cuz endorphins increase mood), work, taking up a new hobby, going out with friends. All these things are good but of course there is going to be pain involved with a breakup. As far as making the breakup stick, be forward with her. I reiterate this alot but being forward, instead of beating around the bush, is the best way to tell her you're done with her. It may hurt her feelings but she will get over it (we all do). She may try to get back with you, but just remind yourself how the relationship was no good for you and stick to your guns. Oh yeah. If you do break up with her, do it in person. Only sociopaths break up with people via email and text. Edited March 15, 2010 by Confusedguy81
LovelyDaze Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Oh yeah. If you do break up with her, do it in person. Only sociopaths break up with people via email and text. Definitely sounds like you are very unhappy with the way things are going in your relationship. Ask yourself if there is a remedy where you two can work on things first. Tell her the absolute truth. Leave no stone unturned. Because things won't begin to have the possibility of being fixed until you both are open and honest. If she is unwilling to waiver and/or admit there is a problem, tell her that you need to break up...period. No one should want to stay in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of having a warm body next to them at night. Try to work things out ASAP and as Confusedguy stated, break up in person and with dignity. Anything less is cowardly.
Author aj-male Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Definitely sounds like you are very unhappy with the way things are going in your relationship. Ask yourself if there is a remedy where you two can work on things first. Tell her the absolute truth. Leave no stone unturned. Because things won't begin to have the possibility of being fixed until you both are open and honest. If she is unwilling to waiver and/or admit there is a problem, tell her that you need to break up...period. No one should want to stay in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of having a warm body next to them at night. Try to work things out ASAP and as Confusedguy stated, break up in person and with dignity. Anything less is cowardly. It’s unhealthy indeed we both know that. I supported her totally the last two years in ways that no one would, but I linger. We break up and make up all the time, to the point that we both know we have no future together, but still keep it, and try to make it work. I wouldn’t dare of thinking of another woman, nor attracted to anyone, even though I know this is going nowhere. But when we break up, I am paralyzed. Deep
LovelyDaze Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 It’s unhealthy indeed we both know that. I supported her totally the last two years in ways that no one would, but I linger. We break up and make up all the time, to the point that we both know we have no future together, but still keep it, and try to make it work. I wouldn’t dare of thinking of another woman, nor attracted to anyone, even though I know this is going nowhere. But when we break up, I am paralyzed. Deep If you don't make a direct move to change things now..then nothing will. You two will NEVER be happy and will be stuck on a gerbil wheel of drama. That's all it is now...drama and wasteless energy. I made a choice that I WANT to be happy. Fighting then making up then fighting then making up is such mindless BS. I just dumped a new guy I have been dating because I could smell the future with him in that way. I put a kibosh on the whole relationship before we got on that idiotic merry-go-round. Life is TOO short, my friend. If you guys like the action of feeling lovelorn, torn, crying and makeup sex, then do-it-again stuff....by all means, don't change a thing. But if you really seek a REAL adult relationship of working things out objectively and working hard to maintaining compromise, mutual respect and true love, then make the change now.
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