Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So I met this girl on an internet dating site that I just joined. A new site. She initiated conversation with me and chatted me up. She lives about 100 miles away is the only thing. I thought she might be easy, and I really like travelling to the place where she lives, so I thought up a lie that my brother lives there and that I was visiting him this coming Wednesday and it would be nice for her and me to get toghether while I was there, after I hung out with my brother. I didn't want her to know I'd be driving all the way to her city just for her, although she probably figured that I was using the whole visiting my brother as an excuse and really wanted to see her. That's fine. She could suspect that as long as she didn't know it for sure. She readily agreed to this idea, and we set up a date for Wednesday evening after she gets off work. I was looking forward to it, because she's way cute and I'd drive 100 miles for poon (I've driven farther for less, to be honest) even though I already had sex with two other girls this week and am dating a couple of girls within like 10 miles of me. Her emails weren't very sexual but I was willing to chance it. (Like I said I really enjoy visiting her city since it's where I grew up.) HOWEVER, tonight she sent me an email saying, in part: "so wednesday, you are probably heading home that night, so do you want to meet earlier in the evening? let me know." To me this is her saying, "Just so we're clear, you ain't getting any sex on wednesday." I don't need to be told that this jump-to-conclusion may be incorrect. It could totally be read at face-value, she being concerned for me driving late at night or something? But I don't think so. The "let me just make sure that you know you're not spending the night with me" vibe is the one I got from my initial reading of her statement, and I think it's the right one. So while I'm the type to drive 100 miles for a shot at sex, I'm not the type to drive 100 miles for essentially no chance at it. I emailed her back and told her that my brother had to leave town and so I wouldn't be visiting him and so I wouldn't be visiting her. Opinions FROM MEN? What would you have done? How does your analysis of her communication differ from mine? I'm not really interested in hearing opinions that bash me outright or bash me in a disguised attempt at disagreement. Those people I will put on my ignore list. Please men just tell me what you would have done in that situation,and what you think her underlying thought was in saying "...you are probably heading home that night...." If you're not the type to get into that situation, then no comments are necessary. Thanks for the on-topic and thoughtful replies from those who have found themselves in situations like this one and are ready, willing and able to analyze my question from the perspective outlined above!
Marek Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 ...tonight she sent me an email saying, in part: "so wednesday, you are probably heading home that night, so do you want to meet earlier in the evening? let me know." Why did you interpret that to say, "Just so we're clear, you ain't getting any sex on wednesday"? I don't see any indication in her comment that would conclude what you have concluded. What would you have done? Firstly, I wouldn't be driving 100 miles to visit someone whom I don't even know. But that's just me. However, if I were the type to drive 100 miles for a chance at "poon", I would have still taken the journey to try and score. How does your analysis of her communication differ from mine? I wrote it in the first paragraph.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Firstly, I wouldn't be driving 100 miles to visit someone whom I don't even know. But that's just me. However, if I were the type to drive 100 miles for a chance at "poon", I would have still taken the journey to try and score. Fair enough, and I did think about that. A lot of guys would go ahead and do it and see if they could talk their way into her bed once they got up there. I appreciate your thoughtful comment.
Primate Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Man, if I were drinking milk my whole screen would be white right now. I'm sorry man, I have been accussed of disgusting behavior on this forum recently and I was just thinking about how those vipers would react to you. Ouch! All I can tell you is that I am willing to travel 12.000 KM to visit a girl to see her for just a couple of minutes while not even knowing I would make a chance of even giving her a kiss. I like your approach, from a distance, but I think you are not getting any. And even if you would maybe you wouldn't get more than once, but maybe that isn't your goal. Good luck man, live the good life.
Marek Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm sorry man, I have been accussed of disgusting behavior on this forum recently and I was just thinking about how those vipers would react to you. Ouch! Why? What's so disgusting about his behaviour? The fact that he's a red-blooded male who acts and thinks like every other red-blooded male? Listen, there are guys on here who are all about the romance and lovey-dovey. But let me tell you this: They're all frauds! A young guy wants the snatch first, the rest is secondary. So don't hate on this guy.
Els Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 If you just want sex, why bother with the internet dating? It's possibly the worst way to get free sex. At least locally you won't have to drive that far to just be disappointed.
Primate Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Why? What's so disgusting about his behaviour? The fact that he's a red-blooded male who acts and thinks like every other red-blooded male? Listen, there are guys on here who are all about the romance and lovey-dovey. But let me tell you this: They're all frauds! A young guy wants the snatch first, the rest is secondary. So don't hate on this guy. Dude read my post again. If anything, I absolutely don't hate on this guy.
Marek Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Dude read my post again. If anything, I absolutely don't hate on this guy. Oops! I did re-read it. Sorry, I've had a few drinks and I'm bit "here and there" at the moment. Sorry, buddy.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 If you just want sex, why bother with the internet dating? It's possibly the worst way to get free sex. At least locally you won't have to drive that far to just be disappointed. I look forward to hearing of better ways to get free sex! Before I started internet dating I'd slept with 4 women, now it's in the low-20s. If someone has a more efficient way to get poon I'm all ears.
boogieboy Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I look forward to hearing of better ways to get free sex! Before I started internet dating I'd slept with 4 women, now it's in the low-20s. If someone has a more efficient way to get poon I'm all ears. Go to the bars. The net is the hardest way to get laid. Most of those women are actually looking for relationships. What she said to you was actually being thoughtful, she wasnt discounting sex. But when they want to sleep with you, they would give you hints. You NEVER go expecting sex when you have no idea.
Twenty-ten Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) If someone has a more efficient way to get poon I'm all ears. Yeah, go to a pro. Good for her for telling you to see her earlier because you would have to go home. I LOVE this chick, she sounds like kick-ass girl! More than likely she smells your desperation and that's why she had to preempt you with that little detail. Edited March 15, 2010 by Twenty-ten
BWLoca Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I don't think that was her intent, but even if it was, what's to be upset about? At least she said it before you made the trip. It could be she's just planning to kick you out after the festivities, or doesn't want to do it at her own place.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 Ok here's an unexpected update regarding this situation. So, as you know, I gleaned (correctly or incorrectly) from her email that she was hinting that I wasn't getting any sex on our first date. So I told her that the meeting with my brother had been canceled and I wouldn't be down in her area tonight after all. I did this in kind of a terse way, so she'd get the hint. As I expected, I got an email response saying something like, "Well that's too bad, hope you have a good week." And that was the last I figured I'd hear from her. Then just a few minutes ago I got an email from her, asking how my week was going and what my plans were for St. Pat's day. I'm very surprised, I must admit. Not sure what to do next, or even if I want to do anything. It's an awfully long drive for no sex, and even a pretty long drive for sex. And from our online profiles it's clear that we don't match very well, though she is rather attractive. An 8 I'd say. I'm really torn. If she hinted that I'd get laid, I'd make the trip. If she were hotter, I'd make the trip. If she had gotten my hint and stopped emailing, I'd have no problem forgetting about her. I'm torn!
LovelyDaze Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Ok here's an unexpected update regarding this situation. So, as you know, I gleaned (correctly or incorrectly) from her email that she was hinting that I wasn't getting any sex on our first date. So I told her that the meeting with my brother had been canceled and I wouldn't be down in her area tonight after all. I did this in kind of a terse way, so she'd get the hint. As I expected, I got an email response saying something like, "Well that's too bad, hope you have a good week." And that was the last I figured I'd hear from her. Then just a few minutes ago I got an email from her, asking how my week was going and what my plans were for St. Pat's day. I'm very surprised, I must admit. Not sure what to do next, or even if I want to do anything. It's an awfully long drive for no sex, and even a pretty long drive for sex. And from our online profiles it's clear that we don't match very well, though she is rather attractive. An 8 I'd say. I'm really torn. If she hinted that I'd get laid, I'd make the trip. If she were hotter, I'd make the trip. If she had gotten my hint and stopped emailing, I'd have no problem forgetting about her. I'm torn! I can't knock you for being honest in what it is that you want. Why be torn? Is it that you like the girl and wouldn't mind driving all that way to spend time getting to know her? Or are you more motivated just for the potential sex? Like another post stated,if you are not interested in a relationship with the girl, just look for someone to connect with in your own area that you are attracted and is willing to just keep it at sex with no strings attached. Problem solved.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Why be torn? Is it that you like the girl and wouldn't mind driving all that way to spend time getting to know her? Eh, not before, but now I'm not so sure. Or are you more motivated just for the potential sex? I certainly was, yes. Like another post stated,if you are not interested in a relationship with the girl, just look for someone to connect with in your own area that you are attracted and is willing to just keep it at sex with no strings attached. Problem solved. I usually do, but this chick emailed me on a dating site from out of the blue and seemed very friendly. Plus I grew up where she lives so I take every chance to go back there when I can.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 (edited) Another update: I emailed her back, saying that I wasn't really doing anything tonight because I don't like going to bars where big crowds are. About 15 seconds later she emailed back, chiding me about "blowing her off" tonight. I think I'm starting to dig this chick. I guess I like being pursued. Not all men "love the chase," some like to be chased. You heard it here first. I think I'll email her back and flirt a little. If she can do that then maybe I'll head down where she lives without the brother excuse. EDIT: Here's something else I just noticed. I've ended my emails with various 'signatures.' Sometimes my first name "Tmerforiehyeh," sometimes my three initials "TZX," and sometimes just "T." Well whenever she responds, she'll sign her email off with her name, initials, or initial, in the exact same way as I did in my previous email, only with a lower-case name or initials. Kinda weird. Edited March 18, 2010 by Tnerforireyeh
Crazy Magnet Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 That's an awful lot of effort just to get laid. Perhaps I'm lazy, but I'd have to be on my death bead to work this hard for it! If you enjoy going back to where she lives, you might as well go. Try to meet her in the afternoon so you can have one of those 6 hour first dates. You're more likely to score that way if that's your goal.
desertmoon Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 EDIT: Here's something else I just noticed. I've ended my emails with various 'signatures.' Sometimes my first name "Tmerforiehyeh," sometimes my three initials "TZX," and sometimes just "T." Well whenever she responds, she'll sign her email off with her name, initials, or initial, in the exact same way as I did in my previous email, only with a lower-case name or initials. Kinda weird. For all your stories, it boils down to this-you are like a girly man. The above does not mean anything profound.
marsle85 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Yeah, that's definitely what she was doing. Apparently not only is she an "8," but she has some brains too.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Try to meet her in the afternoon so you can have one of those 6 hour first dates. You're more likely to score that way if that's your goal. Excellent point, and yeah you're right about the 'lot of work to get laid' thing. But keep in mind so far it hasn't been much work at all. No driving, no phone calls, just a total of about 15 minutes spent on emails. I think in the end my rational side will win out. It's fun to talk about this chick, but will I drive 2 hours for just a hint of poon? Doubtful. I'm too old for that stuff. thx for the replies.
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Yeah, that's definitely what she was doing. Apparently not only is she an "8," but she has some brains too. What is '"definitely what she was doing?"
Crazy Magnet Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 Honestly, when online dating I'm way more upfront about the guy not getting any from one encounter. My line was something like "I am not here for a one night stand or random sex, if you're looking for that, message elsewhere." The guys who were into that left me alone, the ones who weren't kept on messaging. Then again, I'm the most blunt individual I've ever met and games and obscure hints take up too much brain power. I don't think she was "definitely" doing anything other than planning her evening accordingly. It makes complete rational sense to expect a guy to want to get an early start back home if a.) got up early to drive 2 hours, b.) he's been running around with his brother all day, and c.) he probably has to work early in the morning. It's called courtesy.
marsle85 Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 What is '"definitely what she was doing?" Sorry for the lack of clarity: IMO she was implying "you're going home tonight". I think you should go for it. Unless you're not looking for any kind of serious relationship. I like her. She's confident, but knows she's a catch. The question is...do you? (sorry for the dramatic ending haha)
Author Tnerforireyeh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Sorry for the lack of clarity: IMO she was implying "you're going home tonight". I think you should go for it. Unless you're not looking for any kind of serious relationship. I like her. She's confident, but knows she's a catch. The question is...do you? (sorry for the dramatic ending haha) Yeah a little unnecessary, but I appreciate the sentiment. If she were such a catch why would she email a dude who basically let her know that making the trip just to see her was not worth it? That is, once my brother "canceled," I wasn't willing to drive to see her. Most confident "rulesy" chicks would say, "Well, he can't be very interested, or if he is then the distance is just too much, and so let's leave it at that."
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