InThis305 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) nevermind........... Edited March 15, 2010 by InThis305
counterman Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Just let it out, let it all out. It will make you feel better. The LS team will help you.
Author InThis305 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 I'm sorry this is really long... I'm like really feeling like i'm in pain though and confused about what to do. I met this girl like 6 months ago at a club and she actually moved in with me the second time we saw each other, we were just so into each other. It was like a instant relationship and was really crazy and made me really happy. I thought she was totally sexy, her style, her body was perfect and she was so pretty. She's 20, i'm 24, I had just quit a real estate job and she's a model. she's like a really crazy girl... totally impulsive and does whatever she wants, but she's super smart and I think that whole crazy/smart thing is what drives me nuts. She came from a broken home and had grew up in the system, etc. has an anxiety disorder (I do too....), But for some reason that makes me just love her more. She's a bad girl and i'm pretty much a good boy I guess. Anyway she got her stuff from her ex-bf's house the 2nd night we chilled, and she moved in with me. For like a week we were in my place just constantly together. We were like inseperable, Anywhere we went we held hands or whatever. It felt almost like a honeymoon or something. Anyway she had to go back home to tampa for a court case, I live in Miami it's about 8 hours away. She told me she was coming back but she called me at like 6 AM after a few hours after she was on the road and said that she had just been thinking about me and that she wasnt sure If I really wanted to be with her. I guess she picked up on a vibe that I didnt realllly trust her like 100% because she brought it up a few times when she was with me. The whole thing was like a little fast for me but I still liked it. So I told her like of course I Wanna be with you I wouldnt just let you move in with me like that if I didnt. But either way, she left and she never came back. The next day her number was disconnected..... I know it wasnt because of me but because her crazy ass ex bf who was calling her and texting her literally like 40 times a day freaking out and trying to get her back. Anyway since she left, I messed with a bunch of a girls but I just couldnt shake the memory of her, and sometimes I would really be wishing it was her lying next to me instead of the girl I was with. So I went to the club where she worked at where I met her at and left a note with the girl at the front desk, on the off chance that she gets it. It was really simple and just said "I still think about you... I miss you" and had my number. Anyway really surpring to me but thursday night I'm out at a club with my friend and I get a call from her. She got the note.... So i'm like i'm coming right now ti pick you up. I felt so happy and excited and ****.... The thing is I was on my like 6th beer and I got stopped by the cops for a broken headlight. Luckily they let me go without testing me etc, but I was so scared of getting a DWI that it messed up my mood and ****... When I got the club I was just wasted and I couldnt get my "game" right. Anyway I see her, we hug and go to the back and we're kissing and stuff and hugging, but it just feels kind of different. She told me that she ended up going back to her ex bf, but he's in jail for a longggggg time because he hit her (again). I tell her like yo i'm gonna keep it real with you, I wanted you a lot back then and I want you now. I want everything about you. I tell her like keep it 100 with me and tell me right now do you want to be with me? she tells me kind of like she does but she's going to school in tampa and she doesnt want a long distance relationship....... so i'm kind of like thinking ****. Anyway it's around like 6 AM now and she has to go pick up her friend from west palm (like an hour and a half away). I tell her I wanna ride with her, like I wanna kick it with her and just talk and ****, I missed her. She says no though, because it's really late, and she doesnt wanna have to drop me back off and stuff. So instead what we do is go to the beach so we can chill at least for a minute. As soon as we park up it starts to get really passionate. I'm kissing her and telling her all this stuff like I wanna be with her and I don't want to seperate from her again. She's like feeling it I can tell and she's kissing my neck and starts kind of reaching for stuff through my jeans. I'm telling her crazy stuff like that i'll never meet anyone like her and that she'll never meet anyone like me. She's kind of giggling, and then she throws it back to saying that she's not sure I really want her even now, that it might be justbecause she left me. Anyway It's like about 20 minutes and then she's like ok I really have to go pick my friend up, but when are your days off from work, call me, or i'll be at the club etc.... So i'm like aite whatever i'll hit you tommorrow. So anyway the next day comes around, I call her once, she doesnt pick up or call back. I send her a text askin when she gets off work and she doesnt respond. Next day I call her once again, she doesnt pick up or call back. Now Sunday (today) I called her again and she wont pick up. I was thinking tonight about rolling up to the club where she works but I dont wanna seem like a stalker. On top of this like the vibe I just got when I saw her again seemed like she didnt want to be with me as much as I wanted her. I feel like I ****ed up and didnt do a "good enough job", and the cops ****ed up my vibe. But then I think about the facts..... she got my note and she did call me up. She did have that really passionate time with me at the beach... she was kind of grabbing my dick and like leading my hands to her stuff. So i'm like really confused. I know if a girl doesnt pick up or respond to you its a sign she doesnt wanna be with you. But I still cant help feeling like I need a second chance. The thing is I've been so ****ed up over this, since friday I havent been barely eating and it's like all I can think about. I realize that i'm obsessed with this girl and that scares me, because I don't think she's obsessed with me. The thing is I can't shake this feeling like if I lose her this will haunt me for the REST of my life. like I will NEVER find another girl like this who is so amazing and exciting. That's my real fear... IT almost feels like thinking about death. like my life will be ruined forever. But if she doesn't wanna be with me then that's it, what can I do. I don't wanna become some creepy stalker guy. I have no real idea what I should do. my standards as a man are like yo fall back, let her go, but what if this haunts me forever. Maybe I should send her a text tommorrow just saying how much I want her and that if she doesnt get back to me i'm gonna have to let her go forever. The **** is ****ing killing me though. It feels like she stole a part of me that's gonna be missing forever and only she has
Author InThis305 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 btw I know its really long but thanks I feel a little better after typing it
aroll32 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Dude holy crap. I have no idea what to say. I think you should prob leave her alone for a bit ya know? She's obviously gotten your calls and texts and chose not to respond. She will, in time though. That is if she genuinely likes you. From what you said it seems like she does. Just calm down, and I know it's hard with that anxiety disorder. Take some xanax or something and just chill. Enjoy yourself, and know that a girl (maybe even better than her, as hard as that is to imagine) could quite possibly be out there for you. I hate it when people tell me that crap, but dude, if you keep thinking negatively, only negative things are gonna come. Nothing lasts forever either, be glad you guys had that awesome time together, cause it sounded like it was amazing.
Author InThis305 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 word aroll... I dont take pills... I just try to tough it out I think your right about I should just leave her alone, but I feel like I need to senx her one more text or something so that she will really remember me and know how I feel. Cause this girl is the type to probably change her numbers a few months down the line and then i'll never be able to get in contact with her again ever. but I guess what you said is right if wants me she will hit me up
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