Sprig Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 My last girl friend broke up with me just over a year ago, it ended not because we were fighting or anything, we got along quite well. It was something on her end that didn't just fit I guess. I loved her. She was the one that broke up with me, but felt terrible for it because she did love me but maybe not in the same way I loved her. I came into her life at a very difficult time and help her through some really troublesome things. We were together for about six months. Anyway after she broke up with me, some stuff happened and I wanted nothing more to do with her and instigated no contact, even removed her as a friend from Facebook. I know to my ex this would have been hard as she is the type that would worry about how I'm doing, what I have been up to, etc..A year passes and I never called, texted, e-mailed, nothing. Finally after a year I decied that I want to be at least on good terms and send her a small Christmas gift with a hand written letter that it was too bad the way things ended between us hope she is doing well. This leads to e-mails and soon we both agree to meet for coffee just to say hello. the meeting went really well and it was just like old times. I have to say it was nice seeing her again and brought closure to the former relationship and things that had happened. However through the time we were meeting, she lets slip that through a mutual friend (Katie) has through out the year given my ex updates on my life (even though I asked Katie not to, numerous times). I am disappointed that I trusted Katie with any information. I know "girls talk" but that is a BS excuse. After our meeting, I'm keeping any relationship with my ex at arm's length. No e-mails, texting, phonecalls etc... As i just want to process everything not I'm going to be just sitting around calling her, or e-mailing her all the time. A week ago she sends out a general e-mail to her short list of contacts that she is moving (myself included). It's been about 1 1/2 months since our meeting. I decied that I would reply and among other things show her a couple photos I took that i think she would be interested in. She replies that she has already seen them through another mutual friend profile on Facebook. But not to worry, she's not stalking me she just likes keeping tabs on me. What the heck? She broke up with me and can't seem to let me go with out getting up dates or whatever on my life. She is not the dangerous type or anything. She is a sweet girl, but I'm confused by her actions. Any insights?
desertmoon Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 You are in denial. If you really do not want her in your life you would not have initiated contact with her...twice! She does not appear to still be in love with you (if she ever did), as she seemed ok every time you cut off communication-you on the other hand, appear to be hanging on to what you have. Sorry, but try "no-contact" (NC).
Toki Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Drop the old baggage, sometimes you just can't be friends with an ex.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I agree that the OP is still interested in the broad. Just kinda though, but if she showed a lot of interest in him he'd get back together with her. This could cause problems down the road.
DustySaltus Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 A lot of times ex's will look at a facebook page or ask about an ex for an ego boost. With that being said you were the one who decided to get back into contact with her. What was your motivation for doing so?
Author Sprig Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 The reason I broke NC (which was only once) was I didn't like the way things ended between us, nether did she. After a year, I had sort of forgiven her for what happened and wanted to be on speaking terms. When my first GF broke up with me, it left me hurt, confused and I had a hard time resolving everything. It took me a better part of 1 1/2 years. Part of the problem was there was no closure. After meeting my recent ex, it did bring me closure to that relationship. It was like a weight was taken off my shoulders.
mrkleen Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Sprig….only you know if you are still holding out hope for your ex. There is nothing wrong with keep in touch with people from your past, but you have to decide if you are doing so with ulterior motives or not….same with her. Sounds like you both really liked each other, and for whatever reason it didn’t work out. Maybe down the road you will run into each other and things will be rekindled – probably not, but it does happen. Problem is that the longer you hold out hope for that (even way in the back of your heart/mind) the longer it will take to truly get past her. If you cant handle being her friend, take her off face book – delete her email and phone number etc and move on.
lora22 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 If you don't want her to have access to innocuous information about you and what you're up to, you need to block her on FB. Since you're sharing information with her anyways, and going out of your way (sending her photos you think she'd be interested in, as opposed to simply responding to her moving email with best wishes), I don't understand why this bothers you? It's obvious you want her to know stuff about you. It seems you definitely have unresolved issues with her; perhaps she does with you as well. More likely though, she's just curious.
Author Sprig Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 I don't have her as a friend on Facebook and haven't for over a year, no longer have her phone number ether and won't call her. I don't mind sharing some things with her, but they need to be on my terms.
New Again Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 But she had already seen photos you took because they were on a friend's FB page? If you block her she can't see that stuff. It'st not good enough to just nto be friends.
Recommended Posts