Heather1 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 In my case, brave to have the A. Whatever the outcome, I'm glad for him. I'm where WF was.....letting him go
crazycatlady Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I'm confused and need a refresher. CCL, you are the W, right? Is 'OW' your OW or hour H's? WF - the OW is my H's and my sister. I went on a cruise with both of my sisters at the end of last month. CCL
OWoman Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 How many choices did you make that you feel were cowardly or brave? For me, breaking out of my comfort zone and being prepared to take the R beyond an A took enormous courage, foolhardiness or naivete. But it worked out and I'm glad I did it.
bestplayer Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Brave, no one should stay in a marriage when they love someone else. well i think it depends on the perspective , had i asked this question on a different thread i would see different response
White Flower Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 WF - the OW is my H's and my sister. I went on a cruise with both of my sisters at the end of last month. CCL Great big hugs to you CCL!!!:confused:
pureinheart Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 what do we call leaving a partner for someone else ? brave or cowardice ? Brave, no one should stay in a marriage when they love someone else. Brave also...especially those that have spent most of their adult life with their S. These are the extremely brave as there is a lot to consider.
pureinheart Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 These are brave and cowardly things I have done with regard to my A. Brave 1. The choice to begin an affair before D. I was always told I'd be killed if I did that. I'm not dead and that makes me feel courageous. 2. Baring my soul to the greatest man on the planet. Imagine George Clooney as a Marine who took a bullet for the President. Yeah, that's the guy I bare my soul to. That takes guts. 3. Divorcing my @#$%$%^& of an exH who would love to see me homeless and that was a very close risk I took upon divorcing him. Luckily I faced that challenge and I now have the house and the kids most of the time. 4. Walking away from MM when the R wasn't going the way I wanted it knowing I could lose him forever and not looking back. (He made it better and I came back). 5. Every time I tell someone about our affair knowing full well I could lose their friendship. I have never once lost a friend by telling, btw. Cowardly 1. Not taking MM's W's phone call on D-day. I should have answered that call even though I was talking to him at the time. I will always wonder what she would have said to me. She never left a message. 2. Not feeling comfortable when MM introduced me to a large group of his military friends. I was afraid of what they thought of me since he did not bring his W to this event and a lot of them know her. And this event was televised. (Now I am baring my soul to all of you), Actually, I felt brave for attending but secretly cowardly inside for feeling awkward if you KWIM. I'm sure I wouldn't feel awkward if we were out in the open. I am pondering more and will share later. Wow...this is profound WF...yes, my first exH threatened to kill me also, and even hid a gun in the vent of my mobile home. He caught me and my A person (which became my daughter father and 2nd H), and took me way out in the desert...I thought I was history. Your MM is courageous I think, and I am quite blown away by your testimony. Yours is soooo difficult as to the sensitivity of the situation. This is truely a case of confidentuality...you really had NOONE to talk to...((((((((((huggggssss)))))))
White Flower Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Wow...this is profound WF...yes, my first exH threatened to kill me also, and even hid a gun in the vent of my mobile home. He caught me and my A person (which became my daughter father and 2nd H), and took me way out in the desert...I thought I was history. Your MM is courageous I think, and I am quite blown away by your testimony. Yours is soooo difficult as to the sensitivity of the situation. This is truely a case of confidentuality...you really had NOONE to talk to...((((((((((huggggssss)))))))Thank you Pure. I think another reason why I tend to share my A experience with all of my friends is because I don't really have any family left except a sister. Two brothers gone and both parents so my friends are my family. Not one of them is in the dark about my A with MM, not even my hair dresser.
crazycatlady Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Great big hugs to you CCL!!!:confused: Its an odd story. Plus we have an open marriage, which makes my sister about the only person who he could cheat on me with. Its odd. I look at it with humor mostly because its about all you can do in a situation like this. So maybe that helps people understand the cowardness I feel in not wanting to confront. Its not just him, its not just her, its both, and I love them both. CCL
White Flower Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Its an odd story. Plus we have an open marriage, which makes my sister about the only person who he could cheat on me with. Its odd. I look at it with humor mostly because its about all you can do in a situation like this. So maybe that helps people understand the cowardness I feel in not wanting to confront. Its not just him, its not just her, its both, and I love them both. CCL I understand loving someone who hurts you. Sometimes it takes more bravery than you know.
pureinheart Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Thank you Pure. I think another reason why I tend to share my A experience with all of my friends is because I don't really have any family left except a sister. Two brothers gone and both parents so my friends are my family. Not one of them is in the dark about my A with MM, not even my hair dresser. I am very sorry about your late family members, although I am glad for your sister, friends and hair dresser...man hair dressers are privy to all kids of stuff!
White Flower Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I am very sorry about your late family members, although I am glad for your sister, friends and hair dresser...man hair dressers are privy to all kids of stuff! Yup, just like bartenders and taxi drivers:cool:
jennie-jennie Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 well i think it depends on the perspective , had i asked this question on a different thread i would see different response Not from me!
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