Awesome Username Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 The next guy who asks me if I want to have a relationship without commitment, or friends with benefits, or casual sex, I'm going to yell in his face. Just like I did with a guy who was married and asked me for my number for some "fun." These questions feel so disrespectful to me. Anyone bringing up that they got burned by an ex and just want something casual including sex is even worse. It's straight up insulting what some men think they're entitled to do. Thoughts?
tami-chan Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 i think you're meeting the wrong guys AU takes one to know one?
Author Awesome Username Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 i think you're meeting the wrong guys AU I agree Alpha. I don't even meet these people in dive bars or clubs or anything; in fact sometimes it seems like the more decent and classy the man might appear on the outside, the more he thinks he's entitled to treat women like prostitutes. They're not all like that of course, but the number is significant enough to make piss me off!
lora22 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I also not-so-long ago told someone off in a very rude manner in a bar because he tried to pick me up and was married.
Kamille Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I understand this must be frustrating, but at the same time... Why let it get to you? That's not what you're looking for, so gracefully say no thank you and you and your date are both free to keep on looking for a more appropriate partner. There are guys out there looking for serious relationships. These FWB casual guys are doing you a service by being upfront about their intentions. You don't have to waste your time, or energy, on them.
Author Awesome Username Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 I understand this must be frustrating, but at the same time... Why let it get to you? That's not what you're looking for, so gracefully say no thank you and you and your date are both free to keep on looking for a more appropriate partner. There are guys out there looking for serious relationships. These FWB casual guys are doing you a service by being upfront about their intentions. You don't have to waste your time, or energy, on them. I had a guy way in the past explain to me about how an ex hurt him, but he wanted something casual with "possibly more" because he was burned. The "casual" included sex. I politely turned him down, but in hindsight I with I would have told him how disrespectful it was to use a woman's emotions like that. You might as well call me a whore.
sagetalk Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Thoughts? Yelling is pointless and strange, don't do that. Simply tell them, "No, I only get involved with real men" and completely blow them off. That will do far more than yelling .
Kamille Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I politely turned him down, but in hindsight I with I would have told him how disrespectful it was to use a woman's emotions like that. But that's the thing. It isn't what you want - but it doesn't mean it's automatically disrespectful. There could be a wounded woman out there who is looking for a casual no string attached fling. That woman simply isn't you. You respected yourself and your boundaries by saying no and walking away. Isn't that enough? Why get angry at these men?
Author Awesome Username Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Yelling is pointless and strange, don't do that. Simply tell them, "No, I only get involved with real men" and completely blow them off. That will do far more than yelling . Sagetalk wins. I will completely do this the next time someone asks me for a fling.
JohnP82 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Yelling is pointless and strange, don't do that. Simply tell them, "No, I only get involved with real men" and completely blow them off. That will do far more than yelling . So if a guy only wants to hook up with you he isn't a real man? Does the same hold true for women? It's sounds like he is being honest with his intentions; I can only respect that.
Author Awesome Username Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 So if a guy only wants to hook up with you he isn't a real man? Does the same hold true for women? It's sounds like he is being honest with his intentions; I can only respect that. it still makes me sick to my stomach that someone would look at me and fathom that I'm the type of girl who would let them do that. It makes me wonder if I looked or acted differently, if a man like that would do the same.
sagetalk Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So if a guy only wants to hook up with you he isn't a real man? Does the same hold true for women? It's sounds like he is being honest with his intentions; I can only respect that. If a guy tried to hook up with me I'd punch him in the face since I am a 100% straight male. If a guy is married to another women, or wants to have sex without commitment when the girl wants commitment. Then, yes, he is not a real man. The same holds true for women as well.
Author Awesome Username Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 So if a guy only wants to hook up with you he isn't a real man? Does the same hold true for women? It's sounds like he is being honest with his intentions; I can only respect that. It doesn't mean that he isn't a real man, but it does mean that he thinks I'm not worth being treated like a real woman. I'd only be paying his respect right back to him.
sagetalk Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Sagetalk wins. I will completely do this the next time someone asks me for a fling. Awesome . You probably get this alot because you are hot, doubtful it's any fault of your own. Just keep blowing them off. When you find the right guy you will be very glad you kept your standards high.
JohnP82 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 or wants to have sex without commitment when the girl wants commitment. Then, yes, he is not a real man. So the designation of a real man is dependent on what a woman wants?
Author Awesome Username Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 So the designation of a real man is dependent on what a woman wants? He could be a real man according to all of his dude buddies, but he wouldn't be to me or any of my girlfriends.
JohnP82 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 It doesn't mean that he isn't a real man, but it does mean that he thinks I'm not worth being treated like a real woman. I'd only be paying his respect right back to him. I don't understand how you are not being treated like a real woman. You just aren't getting what you want. You want a traditional dating order. A date where at the end of the night the guy might get a kiss. A few dates/months down the line you two maybe have sex. Quite honestly I can understand how some people find this tedious and unappealing.
Author Awesome Username Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 I know right, like casual sex is evil and wrong. "I want a diamond ring" "Yeah...can't afford that" "YOU'RE NOT A REAAAAL MAAAN" I know you're just playin', but to a lot of men it's either casual sex or a commitment strong enough to lead into marriage...no room for a true "Get to know you" phase. That's why some of them get burned too...the girl that was immediate marriage material wasn't what the guy had dreamed her up to be in his mind. And a girl who is obsessed with material items is also grounds for a "Next!"
sagetalk Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So the designation of a real man is dependent on what a woman wants? Need I remind you that a relationship goes both ways? If you want sex without commitment and she wants commitment, then go find another girl. Only losers pressure girls into things they do not want to do. There are plenty of girls who will sleep with you with no strings attached. Go sleep with them. Sexual incompatibility is toxic, a real man would end the relationship before it begins.
Author Awesome Username Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 I don't understand how you are not being treated like a real woman. You just aren't getting what you want. You want a traditional dating order. A date where at the end of the night the guy might get a kiss. A few dates/months down the line you two maybe have sex. Quite honestly I can understand how some people find this tedious and unappealing. The issue is that a lot of men find getting to know a girl properly to be "tedious." It's too bad, because I'm sure a lot of them are passing up opportunities to meet women who could potentially make them very happy!
JohnP82 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 The issue is that a lot of men find getting to know a girl properly to be "tedious." It's too bad, because I'm sure a lot of them are passing up opportunities to meet women who could potentially make them very happy! Ehh, both men and women don't try very hard.
sagetalk Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Ehh, both men and women don't try very hard. Yeah, women are definitely not off the hook on this one either.
Recommended Posts