Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 To your average feminist male=oppressor so any wrong commited towards a man is justified. That is how your average feminist thinks. The way I see it is if I am treated like a scumbag no matter what I do might as well align myself with the chauvinist pigs who women love to hate. At least they will have my back. I had to take a womans studies introductory course for a social science elective in the summer. They did not teach or preach any man hatred. It was more so a look at the womens movement and striving for equal rights and opportunities for women who want to live in an equal society...and that post modern feminism rejects the idea that we are equal already.. I kind of buy that too. We are not quite equal. Do i think thats your fault, of course not. I think some people carry there attitudes a little too far and scapegoat men...its a societal problem, and not a problem that is caused by men, but one caused by everyone. I dont know why you need to have someone "have your back" just beleive in the rightness of what you say and that should hold its own ground.
Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I used to be a good guy but I probably am not anymore. The way I see is that if women think I am scum might as well give them a real reason to hate me. I also use this board as a place to vent because if I don't have some release for this rage I fear I will do something I regret. I know that sounds scary but it is the truth. I don't want to be this way but I feel myself growing colder and more bitter every day. Your logic is if people see me someway Im going to do it so they are right. That would be the same as me saying..one guy i dated thinks im a slut, so im going to sleep with as many guys as i can so i can actually be a "slut" and identify with a group. I think you need to find out who you really are. I think thats really what it is about. You need to be an individual, and not care about what everyone thinks of you.
Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Its not a very attractice outlook, and im sure you dont care, but a sure fire way to offput the opposite sex is to create a situation where they feel like they need to prove they are not evil. Same goes for women with men. I think you need to have a little bit of faith in the oppostive sex.
threebyfate Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 The way I see it is if I am treated like a scumbag no matter what I do might as well align myself with the chauvinist pigs who women love to hate. At least they will have my back.If you roll in the mud with pigs, you become one. What a silly attitude. Who wants to align with the enemy of your purported enemy, if you don't honestly believe their crap. This is juvenile behaviour and is for the weak.
shadowplay Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Woggle, I truly hope you never have a daughter, because you'd probably abuse her.
johan Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Woggle, if you were as sure of yourself as you say you are, then you wouldn't be continually having your values handed to you by others. "Women think I'm bad, so I'll be bad." "Bad guys conquer women, so I'll act bad." "I'm a good guy today." "Today I'm a bad guy." "Someone at work said something, so that's all I care about now." Who are you? What do you actually care about? What are your values, and why don't you just stick with them? Your life would be easier. You seem to just flap around in the wind.
Author stillafool Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 However, relationships between men and women have had much more defined gender roles for millions of years. And on a basic level, men want to dominate women, and women want to have a dominant man. It's just the way it's always been. I don't need a "dominant" man, I need a partner who views me as an equal. Cliffnotes: Women want men to grab them by the hair and drag them to their cave. I don't. However, now they also want to reserve the right to have the man kiss them goodbye as they go off to work and run for president and stuff. It creates confusion. Why? Are you saying women shouldn't work or that women shouldn't have high powered careers?
Author stillafool Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 I can only speak from my POV, but people who let their jobs define them just confuse me. Frankly, life is too short and people focus so much on working and making money and materialism that it's a massive turn off. I just need enough money to not have to worry about bills, beyond that life shouldn't be about it. Especially in America materialism is rampant and it's disgusting. There's more to life than owning things. I understand what you are saying but I don't think there is anything wrong with supporting your partner in what they do for a living. I understand what Ruby Slippers meant by supporting her man with his career success, yet he may feel jealous of hers because she has perhaps progressed past him. Why can't he be happy for her instead of jealous? Why can't the men view it as her success is also his success? Also, men complain how they are so stressed out, doesn't this make his life easier? He doesn't have to bring home "all the bread".
Woggle Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So I should just go back to the way I was and get abused by women again? I have felt all my life like I needed to prove I was not evil to women and it never worked. I give up.
Author stillafool Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Some people will still prefer traditional roles, while others will prefer to embrace new roles or make up entirely new roles for themselves and a SO (I tend to be in this camp....I think it's up to each couple to decide what traditional and non traditional roles work for them.) This is true and to each his own and that's okay. It is about finding a "compatible" mate who wants the same as you and not expect the world to revert back to the 1950's.
threebyfate Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So I should just go back to the way I was and get abused by women again? I have felt all my life like I needed to prove I was not evil to women and it never worked. I give up.No. You find a balanced medium. Instead of projecting all your angst onto women, you instead, push back when people try to take advantage of you, including men. This means you see people as individuals. As well, proving yourself to people is a slippery slope. Forget proving yourself. Learn to respect yourself.
Rearden Metal Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Woggle, I truly hope you never have a daughter, because you'd probably abuse her. Pretty shallow statement from one of the most intelligent posters on LS. If above is true, however, should he not have a boy also because he'll teach his son to abuse women?
Author stillafool Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 You're right, but that argument falls on deaf ears nowadays. People on this site have said women abusing men is okay because men did it. Or men being submissive to women is good because it was the other way around, not in this thread BTW, don't anyone get upset. It's silly. Please give me a link to whoever on this site has said such things. I don't believe you.
Woggle Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Please give me a link to whoever on this site has said such things. I don't believe you. If you read between the lines it is certainly implied.
linwood Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I am just surprised that there are so many men who become so bitter after a breakup that they practically hate the female population because of one woman who hurt them. I just don't get the same tone from women who have been hurt. You`re simply not paying attention apparently. Also more than the bitterness, it is the contradictions of what they said they wanted and now that they have it, they are still not happy. You can`t honestly be saying men are more contradictory in their expectations of women than women are of men. Should I cite you a list of feminine contradictions? Also, don`t take the men on this board as a fair sample of men in general. Most men I know have far better control of their emotions and self-respect than what I see here.
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 (edited) Pretty shallow statement from one of the most intelligent posters on LS. If above is true, however, should he not have a boy also because he'll teach his son to abuse women? It's a bold statement, but I don't think it's a shallow one. Basically, yes. Honestly I'd fear for the well-being of any kid that Woggle raised. He's made it clear that he's not going to break the cycle of abuse. This is a recipe for disaster if he ever has a child. I don't think it's impossible for him to be a good father, but he needs to show some willingness to change first. Edited March 16, 2010 by shadowplay
St. Nick Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 It's a bold statement, but I don't think it's a shallow one. Basically, yes. Honestly I'd fear for the well-being of any kid that Woggle raised. He's made it clear that he's not going to break the cycle of abuse. This is a recipe for disaster if he ever has a child. I don't think it's impossible for him to be a good father, but he needs to show some willingness to change first. LOL. Says the woman with body dysmorphia. People who are heavily influenced by negative personality disorders shouldn't be having kids either cuz they might pass it on to their child.
Woggle Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Actually she is right. I am one of those people that should not be a father.
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 LOL. Says the woman with body dysmorphia. People who are heavily influenced by negative personality disorders shouldn't be having kids either cuz they might pass it on to their child. Body Dysmorphia isn't a personality disorder. You clearly don't know much about psychology. If I ever do have kids, it will be only when I feel like I'm ready to be a good parent. Anything else would be irresponsible.
St. Nick Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Body Dysmorphia isn't a personality disorder. You clearly don't know much about psychology. If I ever do have kids, it will be only when I feel like I'm ready to be a good parent. Anything else would be irresponsible. You clearly don't know much about psychology either (or probably bout your own disorder for that matter). It's an anxiety disorder, which is closely related to a personality disorder. In fact, personality and anxiety disorders are so closely related that it's almost ridiculous to separate them. In any case, you clearly have a disorder that could be harmful to your child as a parent, which can cause them to have the same disorder. Whether you are ready or not to have a kid, if you still have the disorder chances are your kid will get it too, in one way or another.
Author stillafool Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 You`re simply not paying attention apparently. No, I don't read women or hear women in my personal life plotting to get revenge on all men for what one man has done. The men want to make every woman pay for what one woman did to them. They even ask other men how to basically become "dogs" (even though dogs deserve better than to be compared to them) so they can get back at women. I don't hear such nonsense from women. Most of them have been hurt and want to know how to heal and move on. You can`t honestly be saying men are more contradictory in their expectations of women than women are of men. I just did. Should I cite you a list of feminine contradictions? Please do. Also, don`t take the men on this board as a fair sample of men in general. Are you a man? Most men I know have far better control of their emotions and self-respect than what I see here. Good for you. But in real life I am seeing the same.
Woggle Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 We don't become dogs to get back at women. We become dogs because that is what women want. Sure they say they want the opposite but in reality look who has the most success with women.
Author stillafool Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 While I don't believe this applies to all men, you definitely make some good points. I really like what you said about sex and money because a lot of times those are the things that keep me from having healthy relationships with men. They just can't seem to look past the fact that I have a successful career and that I need to get my freak on on a regular basis. I don't understand how these could possibly be a turn off to men, but apparently it is to a lot of them! This is what I don't understand. These were things they said they wanted and when it is presented to them they are turned off. I don't think they know what they really want from women.
Author stillafool Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Let's conduct a thought experiment: Situation 1: you have a marriage, where the ONLY thing that changes is that the wife all of a sudden becomes very successful and starts bring in a lot more money than before (inc. more than the husband). The family has more money and security, the wife feels more accomplished both in her career, and as a partner (since she is able to help raise the family so much better). Do you HONESTLY think that any sane man will have an issue with that? With seeing his wife happier AND richer??? Situation 2: same as the above, plus additional changes: the wife is convinced that her (by now "underachieving") husband is "holding her back", and begins to resent him and begins to look around for someone "More on her level" . Now take a step back, and honestly try to evaluate which one happens more often. And if so, can you blame if people become resentful/paranoid as a result? How many men have excelled in their careers and felt they were now too good for the woman who helped them get there. That is the "one" that happens most often.
Woggle Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 How many men have excelled in their careers and felt they were now too good for the woman who helped them get there. That is the "one" that happens most often. So because some men who have nothing to do with me have done with this I have no right to protect myself from it happening to me. This is what I mean when I say women are seeking revenge and I wish they would just be honest about it. On one hand you chastize men for being afraid of career women but when we voice one of our concerns you dismiss by saying men do it so we deserve to have it done to us.
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