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Here's something women should never say to a prospective man..


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Posted
Sally, apparently we're on ignore, so we can say what we like. He won't read it anyway!:p:D

 

It seems Barky is the archetypal "I'll talk with you, but only if you agree with me" head-in-the-sand bloke!

 

Ha ha! I just made a post in another thread last week about the "La la la, I can't hear youuuu!" type. :laugh:

 

Why someone would prefer a gal to be dishonest with them is BEYOND me. :confused:

Posted
Oh, unless you're just looking to get laid by some gal with air between her ears. :rolleyes:

 

If only we could be so lucky! The damned feminist movement has made this jewel a rarer and rarer find with their demand for female literacy an all.

 

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh: (smilies)

Posted

 

Why someone would prefer a gal to be dishonest with them is BEYOND me. :confused:

 

 

Because when you have a pea brain you need dumb-ass things to make you feel complete.

Posted
If only we could be so lucky! The damned feminist movement has made this jewel a rarer and rarer find with their demand for female literacy an all.

 

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh: (smilies)

 

Oh, honey, I see that type ALLLL the time. :D

Posted
I think a lot of the gender warriors here are missing the OP's point to a degree.

 

I don't think the OP is suggesting that these women are terrible for sleeping around and then changing their minds to go slower in dating. I don't think he's judging these women for their lifestyle choices at all. This seems to be where the gender warriors of this thread are getting caught up & calling the OP a hypocrite etc.

 

What I believe the OP is pointing out is that he thinks it's a bad strategy for these women (shooting themselves in the foot if you will) to indirectly admit that they used to be loose & easy targets, but now they will give their future suitors much more difficulty in getting to that point. I think his point is a valid one.

 

 

+1, that's exactly how I read it, too.

 

The attacks on Barky are a response to his brazen honesty. But I'll vouch for the guy, he's not "wrong" about a lot of what he says, he just has a bit of a jaded view.

 

I like ya Barky. You stick to your guns.

Posted

I'm a chick, and I agree with the guys... Barky makes a fair point (then some rather suspect ones, but lets leave those for now). What women are saying very early on in dating is not going to be always interpreted by the guy in the way it was intended and might be a really big turnoff... so if the chick didn't mean she's been sleeping around town and now wants to settle down, then maybe a heads up that this is how this statement might be interpreted is useful!!

 

I mean, she doesn't have to be dishonest at all... but maybe she is trying to say one thing and actually can be giving another impression which is not complementary or true about her past.... (this is with no judgement, if you want to sleep around and you have fun that's great, but if you didn't you are unlikely to want to give that impression!)

 

Hey you don't have to agree with him, or crucify him, but maybe it is worth considering what he's saying as being generally interesting on how things can be mis-interpreted...

Posted
I think a lot of the gender warriors here are missing the OP's point to a degree.

 

I don't think the OP is suggesting that these women are terrible for sleeping around and then changing their minds to go slower in dating. I don't think he's judging these women for their lifestyle choices at all. This seems to be where the gender warriors of this thread are getting caught up & calling the OP a hypocrite etc.

 

What I believe the OP is pointing out is that he thinks it's a bad strategy for these women (shooting themselves in the foot if you will) to indirectly admit that they used to be loose & easy targets, but now they will give their future suitors much more difficulty in getting to that point. I think his point is a valid one.

 

 

yeah, I appreciate Barky for pointing this out as well... when I first read his opening post I thought he was reading too much into things. Now I can see how a lot of guys would interpret that statement. It makes me think about things I have said in the past that may have given guys the wrong idea about me. I've been reconsidering doing the online thing again... not now but maybe in the future... and knowing that I am looking for something more serious now I will not mention anything about my past... even though I was never really a slut! :laugh:

Posted
Never ever brought me any problems, and men have no problem sticking around for a woman that says she makes men wait. Then again I only have relationships with quality men.

 

And I have been with enough men so I would know but thanks for your input you are entitled to let it get to you! ;)

 

Then why do you go through so many "quality men" ?

Posted
Then why do you go through so many "quality men" ?

 

 

Because I can.

Posted
Because I can.

 

You ROCK sistuh!!!!! :cool:

Posted

I'm trying to recall what I say to guys when they ask me what I'm looking for. I don't really like having to answer that question as it's uncomfortable and really misleading early on.

 

I don't want to say I am looking to settle down as that sounds too needy, I don't want to say something that gives the impression I am looking for a hook up as that sounds too slutty. The truth is that I don't always know what I am looking for, and it changes - often depending on the person and the chemistry.

 

I imagine a lot of women would try and come off sounding laid back so as not to sound needy. I guess I have to be aware that saying you're laid back is tantamount to calling yourself a whore.

Posted

 

I don't want to say I am looking to settle down as that sounds too needy, I don't want to say something that gives the impression I am looking for a hook up as that sounds too slutty. The truth is that I don't always know what I am looking for, and it changes - often depending on the person and the chemistry.

 

I imagine a lot of women would try and come off sounding laid back so as not to sound needy. I guess I have to be aware that saying you're laid back is tantamount to calling yourself a whore.

 

 

This is exactly it. Thank you for explaining that so well D-Lish I share your sentiment word for word. Fact is sometimes I haven't really known what I wanted until I was in it as well.

 

At some points I have felt like I wanted no strings attached meaning nothing too serious and involved just some fun dates doing fun activities with someone who's company I enjoyed and at other times I felt like I was ready to date with the potential of falling in love. In none of those cases was there random sex.

 

But some guys can be so lame and ask you once they get to know you "wow how could someone as amazing and good looking as you be single, why are you single?" I know that's meant as some form of trite compliment but it is a dumbass thing to ask someone because what they are really saying is "there has to be something wrong with you that I can't figure out now" What they forget is that they are single too and asking such a stupid question.

 

 

Why else is someone single - they are not in a relationship at the time, that's why, duhhhh.:rolleyes:

Posted
Been doing the online dating thing for years and I've run across this statement that's an instant turn-off for me and I imagine all guys. It comes in various forms but essentially says the same thing. It's a statement that doesn't just apply to online dating, but probably all situations where a girl and boy are feeling each other out for possible companionship.

 

Backstory: I date girls who are "easy." When I email a chick a few times before deciding whether to ask her out or not, I try to glean "what she's looking for," which usually means whether she's easy or not.

 

I've had a number of women tell me that they're "traditional," or do "friends-first," or some come right out and say, "I'm not looking for hookups," or the equivalent. That's fine. I usually stop emailing those women because that's not what I'm looking for, but I understand it and that's fine. It's not insulting.

 

The ones I will ask out must say something along the lines of they're "just dating," or "having fun," "I've met a lot of guys," or some other line that lets me know they're easy. That's great, because that's what I'm looking for.

 

However, I've found that a surprising number of chicks--and one just yesterday--say something along the lines of, "In the past I was having fun dating guys, but now I'm looking for something more serious."

 

This basically tells me that you were easy and you slept with a bunch of other dudes, but now you're going to make me work for it. Maybe it's a blow-off line, but in online dating if you want to blow someone off you just stop talking. The times I've heard it it has seemed to me to be a serious line, but I can't imagine what the girls are thinking when they say this. I can understand "I'm not easy." But I can't understand why you'd tell any guy, "I was easy, but now I'm not."

 

You see how that would be totally distasteful for a man? He can only think one of two things: that he missed the party bus, or that the girl has singled him out as being less desirable than other men. The other dudes could get into her pants no problem, but he's going to have to do a long-term relationship to get any.

 

I mean, it's an honest statement for sure, "I used to be a slut, but now I'm not," but not something any dude really wants to hear, especially the type of long-term guy that she's (now) looking to find!

 

The more I think about it the more I think it must be a blow-off line. No sane woman could expect a man to date her long-term after she told him something like that. What man would think to himself, "Wow, this girl banged guys who didn't do anything more than smile at her, and now I have to be her boyfriend to get any. Lucky me!" It must only be something said once the girl realizes that there's going to be no rel'p.

 

Its distatesful to you OP because that NOT what your looking for. Your not looking for someone like that, fine. You want someone who sleeps around now, but if she grew out of that you dont want that anymore. Great, fine. Why do you care? Why are you mad at girls for wanting to have a mature realtionship? What you are saying is that she should continue this party sleep around mentality forever? Its unrealistic to expect that women stay in a constant state forever. People change. Not all men look at someones past and disregard them because they were "wild" teenager. I dont think your in any place OP to guess or assume what another man thinks about women like this because you are looking for easy sex...and they are probably done with that.

Posted

When a woman tells you that she used to sleep around a lot, but now wants a more serious relationship... that just means that she won't put out until the second or third date. Or sometimes it's just their way of saying that "I'm not easy... until I see that you aren't some deranged lunatic who is trying to run a game on me. And sometimes it's a way to tease a man into taking them out and spending money on them without feeling like they should return the favor, so to speak. They just want you to prove your love/stupidity before they blow you off. What is so wrong about that?:rolleyes:

 

It's 2010, haven't you heard? Only women are allowed to be choosy these days. We men are expected to treat every little piece of worn out ass like it belongs to a princess.

Posted

I just re-read the title of this thread wherein the term "prospective man" is used. Is that an implication that someone is not yet a man? :confused:

Posted
When a woman tells you that she used to sleep around a lot, but now wants a more serious relationship...

 

I don't think that's what the gal said to him. :rolleyes:

 

Read for content please. Thanks. ;)

Posted
I just re-read the title of this thread wherein the term "prospective man" is used. Is that an implication that someone is not yet a man? :confused:

 

:lmao: Great point Donnamaybe!!

 

I don't think that's what the gal said to him. :rolleyes:

 

Read for content please. Thanks. ;)

 

Exactly. :rolleyes:

 

 

If we were talking about women who actually come out and say that there would no confusion here, but this is all speculation of the OPs part and he is building a case around a huge assumption. Fine I can accept that he reads it that way, but that doesn't mean that is what these women are saying.

Posted
When a woman tells you that she used to sleep around a lot, but now wants a more serious relationship... that just means that she won't put out until the second or third date. Or sometimes it's just their way of saying that "I'm not easy... until I see that you aren't some deranged lunatic who is trying to run a game on me. And sometimes it's a way to tease a man into taking them out and spending money on them without feeling like they should return the favor, so to speak. They just want you to prove your love/stupidity before they blow you off. What is so wrong about that?:rolleyes:

 

It's 2010, haven't you heard? Only women are allowed to be choosy these days. We men are expected to treat every little piece of worn out ass like it belongs to a princess.

 

Sounds like you have been burned and now have no positive attitudes towards women what so ever. Its very transparent that your response is skewed to your own sad experiences. Not a logical argument, or a fragment of honesty about what women really expect though. Re-read outloud in repair you are clearly in repair for a reason. Maybe one day you will grasp reality. Ill pray for you.

Posted

Hell yes I've been burned, hence my membership to this website.

 

You choose your own username on LS... so thank you for confirming that I made a wise decision there. Now, go find another man on this site that is really any different than I am. Some of them hide behind mushy psycho babble and long winded overly-feminised projections, and some just let it all hang out. The thing that we all have in common to some extent? We know women are just as full of **** as we are...

Posted
Hell yes I've been burned, hence my membership to this website.

 

You choose your own username on LS... so thank you for confirming that I made a wise decision there. Now, go find another man on this site that is really any different than I am. Some of them hide behind mushy psycho babble and long winded overly-feminised projections, and some just let it all hang out. The thing that we all have in common to some extent? We know women are just as full of **** as we are...

 

I disagree. I think that some men are on this site for other reasons. Do you really feel you are in the place to give advice to someone if thats how you really feel? Why respond at all if it is not helpful? If you really beleive all women are full of ****...then you are in for a sad existance. I dont think all guys are full of ****. Ya know..some women are and some men are. Are you? Am I? Well all people are different. I like to think ive been as honest as i can be, and I hope that one day you change your mind.

Posted

 

It's 2010, haven't you heard? Only women are allowed to be choosy these days. We men are expected to treat every little piece of worn out ass like it belongs to a princess.

 

 

I think most of us would be happy if we were treated like human beings rather than pieces of worn out ass OR princesses.

 

My only problem with many of these posts is that I don't really appreciate being characterized as a vaguely-anthropomorphized 'target' or 'piece'. It's rather amusing though how mysterious it is to some that such classic objectification rubs women the wrong way. Can you imagine the fifty-page ruckus on this board if a female poster came along referring to men and their wallets as targets? :laugh:

 

As for the OP, Barky is allowed his preferences and he prefers women to sleep with him immediately and be dishonest about their complicated human natures, that's fine. I would never date him and he would never date me so it's really no skin off my nose.

Posted
Fine I can accept that he reads it that way,

 

^What I believe his purpose of posting the thread to be.

 

but that doesn't mean that is what these women are saying.

 

^I don't think the OP thinks these women are trying to say this. He's saying this is how it's being interpreted by him.

 

But we've already been back & forth on this. Hopefully the OP will chime back in with his 2c.

Posted
I read it like prospective mate, as in possible boyfriend/whatever.

 

Just further proof of the OP. Something can be said one way, but be interpreted by someone else another way. It's funny because these bitter ladies are doing just that, which is proving his point.

Posted

What I don't get is wanting to sleep around with multiple women for years at a time and then finding women who have slept around to be gross or unsexy or whatever. Why is the easy chick not gross when you're going around sleeping with anyone who's willing? And how does that not make you a worn out piece of a- who's not serious relationship material, too?

Posted
Just further proof of the OP. Something can be said one way, but be interpreted by someone else another way. It's funny because these bitter ladies are doing just that, which is proving his point.

 

Since you're referring to me, let me assure you. I am in NO way bitter. I have a better guy than any man posting in this thread. Guaranteed. :love:

 

What makes him better? Well, for one, he's not a hypocrite. ;)

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