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Here's something women should never say to a prospective man..


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Posted

How's it any different from saying, "I'm at a point in life where I'm ready to settle down now."? You could read that as "I've been banging anything with a pulse all my life, but it's getting boring", couldn't you?

Posted

Here's something never to say to a man...

 

"I just got out of a 4 year relationship... but he cheated on me for the last two of the 4 years.. so technically, I've been single for the last 2 years."

 

No sweetie, it doesn't work that way.

Posted
How's it any different from saying, "I'm at a point in life where I'm ready to settle down now."? You could read that as "I've been banging anything with a pulse all my life, but it's getting boring", couldn't you?

 

yes. It is better to say, "I'm bored with banging a chick every night. Would you like to settle down with me?" It sounds romantic

Posted

I actually understand where you are coming from and why the attitude towards it, but.....

 

However, I've found that a surprising number of chicks--and one just yesterday--say something along the lines of, "In the past I was having fun dating guys, but now I'm looking for something more serious."

 

This basically tells me that you were easy and you slept with a bunch of other dudes, but now you're going to make me work for it.

 

No, I do not think it means that, I think it means, "this is where I am at in my life-take it or leave it."I do not think they have YOU in mind when they came up with that. I guess I do not understand why this would bother you enough to have "feelings" about it....your attitude should be the same as those who said "I am looking for a serious relationship"...end of story and off you go picking cheap women, no?

 

You see how that would be totally distasteful for a man?

 

You mean as "distasteful" as a man whose purpose in life is to bed as many cheap women as possible? whilst maintaining a "long term" relationship?

 

I mean, it's an honest statement for sure, "I used to be a slut, but now I'm not," but not something any dude really wants to hear, especially the type of long-term guy that she's (now) looking to find!

 

I agree, but when do you want to know the truth?

 

"Wow, this girl banged guys (like you) who didn't do anything more than smile at her, and now I have to be her boyfriend to get any. Lucky me!" (lucky guy who comes after you!) It must only be something said once the girl realizes that there's going to be no rel'p.
Posted
LOL , Confusedguy! :laugh:

 

But there is someone for everyone. Might as well be honest and say what you want, casual sex, commitment, red hair, five eyeballs, etc.

 

If a person says they want to have lots of babies in their profile..there's a guy out there who probably wants tons of them too. Just look at the Duggar Family...

 

I agree with you.

You're more likely to find the perfect partner for you by being an open book rather than pretending to be someone you're not and attracting people who are perfect for who you're pretending to be. No one can keep up the mask forever. You WILL be found out or become miserable trying to avoid it.

Posted
Let's stay on topic.

 

I always regret posting anything of substance on these boards. People just use it as a way to attack the OP. Weird.

 

Substance??

 

Where was that then?

 

You took ages to say nothing at all really...

Posted
I agree with you.

You're more likely to find the perfect partner for you by being an open book rather than pretending to be someone you're not and attracting people who are perfect for who you're pretending to be. No one can keep up the mask forever. You WILL be found out or become miserable trying to avoid it.

 

Not to steal Barky's thread but sally, I am with you on not being a pretender on your profile.

 

We all put our best foot forward on a first date as it is so it always make sense to be yourself to a certain extent. If you like scratching your back with a fork before bed, of course you might want to reveal that when you are part of an actual couple.

But stuff like the fact you do or don't like kids or lying about how you feel regarding religion are big things that you shouldn't lie about just to have a date for Saturday night.

 

So true...your true self will be found out...might as well start at Day 1.

Posted

To me it means that she has a history if chasing after jerks and now wants a nice guy to settle down with because she can't make a player commit. I don't judge a woman for having her fun but I do not want to settled for because she will eventually lose attraction.

Posted

I wouldn't think of saying that to a prospective date/boyfriend/whatever.

 

I agree with a poster above who said it sounded kind of strange.

 

However, I am a female and perhaps she isn't implying she was a total skank. Perhaps she had fun "dating" going out on dates, nothing serious but now she wants to get serious. To be honest with you, I've been "dating" for quite a while, close to a year and I have not had sex with any of them. I was just meeting new people and seeing what was out there, meanwhile looking to get serious with someone captivating enough to hold my attention.

 

(who turned out to be a total loser from my previous post you responded to! :p)

 

Anyway - interesting to hear how male's interpret different things women say. I appreciate the perspective and will be a bit more careful in my wording.

Posted

I agree with you in that I don't understand why some people would sleep around easily for fun, and make more serious people in their life work for the same intimacy. Beyond that, I don't know why anyone would even bring up that kind of history with a prospective partner.

Posted
Let's stay on topic.

 

I always regret posting anything of substance on these boards. People just use it as a way to attack the OP. Weird.

 

Because the theme of all your posts seem to stem to the same thing.

 

It's called b.s.

 

Generally that consists of made-up substance. :)

Posted
I'm a guy and as a general rule, a women talking about a promiscuous history is a turn off.

I'm a guy too. I believe a woman who talks about how much she's had men wait for sex is an even bigger turn-off.

Posted
...

However, I've found that a surprising number of chicks--and one just yesterday--say something along the lines of, "In the past I was having fun dating guys, but now I'm looking for something more serious."

 

This basically tells me that you were easy and you slept with a bunch of other dudes, but now you're going to make me work for it. Maybe it's a blow-off line, but in online dating if you want to blow someone off you just stop talking. The times I've heard it it has seemed to me to be a serious line, but I can't imagine what the girls are thinking when they say this. I can understand "I'm not easy." But I can't understand why you'd tell any guy, "I was easy, but now I'm not."

...

 

I mean, it's an honest statement for sure, "I used to be a slut, but now I'm not," but not something any dude really wants to hear, especially the type of long-term guy that she's (now) looking to find!

 

...

 

I totally agree with you and assume the same thing - it's an instant turn-off. Sometimes women will also say something like "my partying days are behind me" or something similar - to me, women who say that are almost saying that they used to sleep around but now don't want to do that anymore.

Posted
I totally agree with you and assume the same thing - it's an instant turn-off. Sometimes women will also say something like "my partying days are behind me" or something similar - to me, women who say that are almost saying that they used to sleep around but now don't want to do that anymore.

 

Clearly a lot of women have no problem telling dudes they want LTRs with that they used to sleep around. Like the OP I sleep around but would never tell a long-term prospect about my past nor would I date a woman who came out and told me that either.

Posted

I'm not looking JUST for sex, but I understand exactly what the OP is saying.

 

for some reason I attract the type of girl who dates jerks that treat them like crap.

They meet me & think "this is the kind of guy I should be with".

but just to make sure i'll tell him about all the kinky sex in weird places i've had & how i've turned over a new leaf & won't be like that anymore" and decide they will make me wait for sex.

 

I can say all 3 times I ran into this situation it has always ended the same.

I waited months.

 

Then, we finally do it &......they realize their just not attracted to me that way & cheat on me with some looser they just met at a party I took them to in the upstairs bathroom.:lmao:

 

I run from women like that now.

Posted

Yes I run from those as well. They're basically trying to lay down the ground rules from the start. They're saying, "If you date me you can't later complain that I'm moving too slow. I'm telling you right now that's how it's going to be. But yeah I used to sleep around a lot. But no I'm not going to do it with you, and you can like it or leave." Best to run from that type, I agree.

Posted

No it doesn't mean that at all, it means that some women like to date and not sleep with men, and keep it fun and light (companionship to go out and enjoy entertainment with a man) until she is seriously thinking of becoming exclusive with a guy. That includes sex.

 

It's clear you are projecting your own issues, you are a male skank and all you do is sleep around and you think women behave like you but a lot of them don't. In fact it is more than likely the ones you least expect that are probably the worst. So be careful who you judge.

Posted

I think a lot of the gender warriors here are missing the OP's point to a degree.

 

I don't think the OP is suggesting that these women are terrible for sleeping around and then changing their minds to go slower in dating. I don't think he's judging these women for their lifestyle choices at all. This seems to be where the gender warriors of this thread are getting caught up & calling the OP a hypocrite etc.

 

What I believe the OP is pointing out is that he thinks it's a bad strategy for these women (shooting themselves in the foot if you will) to indirectly admit that they used to be loose & easy targets, but now they will give their future suitors much more difficulty in getting to that point. I think his point is a valid one.

Posted

 

I don't think the OP is suggesting that these women are terrible for sleeping around and then changing their minds to go slower in dating. I don't think he's judging these women for their lifestyle choices at all. This seems to be where the gender warriors of this thread are getting caught up & calling the OP a hypocrite etc.

 

 

 

Well you are thinking wrong, because the problem isn't that these women were once loose and now want to settle down, the problem is the OP's interpretation of what "dating around" means.

 

I used a similar line when I was doing online dating it never stopped me from meeting quality men who were looking for a long term relationship. If the OP wants to dwell on such an insignificant technicality he can be my guest, everyone assumes nonsense one way or another so doesn't matter how you word it. Once you meet a person and judging by their actions you will know.

 

At the end of the day what difference does it make, he said he wants loose women anyway so who cares? On the same token he should also advertise on his profile that he only wants loose women that way women can make an educated guess about him.

Posted
I'm a guy too. I believe a woman who talks about how much she's had men wait for sex is an even bigger turn-off.

 

 

Never ever brought me any problems, and men have no problem sticking around for a woman that says she makes men wait. Then again I only have relationships with quality men.

 

And I have been with enough men so I would know but thanks for your input you are entitled to let it get to you! ;)

Posted
Well you are thinking wrong

 

I'm pretty sure that only the OP can confirm or deny that. I simply made a comment about what I thought he was trying to say versus what a lot of you are interpreting for him trying to say. For you to say that I am wrong for thinking that means that you would have to know what the OP was trying to say. Sorry if that confuses you.

Posted

It's pretty clear what he meant:

 

However, I've found that a surprising number of chicks--and one just yesterday--say something along the lines of, "In the past I was having fun dating guys, but now I'm looking for something more serious."

 

This basically tells me that you were easy and you slept with a bunch of other dudes, but now you're going to make me work for it. Maybe it's a blow-off line, but in online dating if you want to blow someone off you just stop talking. The times I've heard it it has seemed to me to be a serious line, but I can't imagine what the girls are thinking when they say this. I can understand "I'm not easy." But I can't understand why you'd tell any guy, "I was easy, but now I'm not."

He is making the huge leap of equating "having fun and dating guys" to

"being loose and sleeping around"

 

There is nothing to interpret there, it's crystal clear what he meant.

 

So he has the issue for making an assumption about a statement that a lot of women on here have already cleared up and said it does not mean sleeping around, it just means simply dating.

 

Bottom line, these women were prob not good looking enough for him so he is making excuses. When I was online dating I could have said I used to be a man and I'd still get tons of hits. It's all semantics.

Posted
It's pretty clear what he meant:

 

I completely understand that in your mind you feel that it is pretty clear what he meant. The problem is that only HE knows what he meant & so far he's been disagreeing with most of you. So I offered what I think that he meant. His response will prove or disprove whether or not I have pointed out what he meant. You are unable to do this, I am sorry. It must be frustrating.

Posted
I completely understand that in your mind you feel that it is pretty clear what he meant
No it is not what I feel in my mind, everyone in this thread interpreted what he said the exact same way I did, including the OP:

 

Let's face it, if I were ready to settle down with a nice girl, I'd never tell her, "Honey, I banged half of Venice Beach but now I want to settle down with you." Who would want to hear that, man or woman, even if it is true?
Looks like the only one who doesn't understand what he meant is you.
Posted
And my post was about asking (not debating) you what you get out of wasting your head space pondering the choices of people you are not qualified to date. Learn from it or don't. And if you don't like feedback, you'd probably be happier keeping it to yourself rather than posting it on a public forum.

 

No kidding, eh? And just to let ya know, arrogance will get you NOWHERE. Oh, unless you're just looking to get laid by some gal with air between her ears. :rolleyes:

 

If a gal says anything which makes YOU run, then she did the right thing. :lmao:

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