ingridh Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 In short: He met a much younger college girl online, fell in love, then made an excuse that our 2-year relationship was not working out and dumped me. He still wanted to be friends but I decided that I have had it and went cold turkey NC. That was a month ago, and have not heard a word from him ever since either. Fine with that because at this point I truly hate and despise him and wish never to see or speak to him ever again. However, there is a problem. He still owes me $$$$. During the past year, he has been making regular payments every month. But not this month. It could be intentional on his part (so that I would contact him) or that he has been spending so much on his new young gf that now he is broke. Either case, it got me concerned. No, there is no written or any form of contract or I O U. Pray advise, o collective wisdom of LSers, what should I do?
thehypemachine Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Oh I'd almost certainly break NC if it involved money. Don't let an idiot like that practically steal from you. If you aren't willing to do it yourself maybe get someone else to ask for you? But yes, definitely don't give in until you have every penny back!
sad_dude Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 depends on how much he has left to pay .. if its not much left ... give it a miss and keep NC going and head held up high... It's clearly a method to get you to speak to him
LovelyDaze Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Depends on if that is all you want from it. Don't ask to discuss the relationship or any of that. Just state that you will accept a money order or cold hard cash. Meet at a public place as if it is a business deal because...well...it is! Don't turn the money exchange into an opportunity to get back together or get "closure."
Author ingridh Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 While it will take him at least four months to pay off the rest, it is not a rather big loss to me if he stops making payment from now on. It is direct deposit from his bank to mine, so there is no need to meet with him if he continues to pay. I could notify him, but if he really does not want to, there is no legal way I could make him pay back what he owes except giving him the satisfaction that I 'contacted' him first. On the other hand, I would rather donate the money to charity than to let this selfish heartless bastard get away with it. Maybe I should wait another month?
LovelyDaze Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 While it will take him at least four months to pay off the rest, it is not a rather big loss to me if he stops making payment from now on. It is direct deposit from his bank to mine, so there is no need to meet with him if he continues to pay. I could notify him, but if he really does not want to, there is no legal way I could make him pay back what he owes except giving him the satisfaction that I 'contacted' him first. On the other hand, I would rather donate the money to charity than to let this selfish heartless bastard get away with it. Maybe I should wait another month? Possibly. Especially if you are fine that the money doesn't go to you directly and instead to a notable charity. So glad you do not have to meet up with him also. The ex who has your stuff, money, etc ALWAYS thinks it is a tactic of the dumpee to just want to see them again and grovel for another chance. If you text or e-mail him about the money, keep it short and sweet as if it just some business partner.
paleblue Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 i say let it go and if he pays you he pays you, if not than you know he is even a bigger loser than you thought.
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