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What makes a lasting relationship/marriage?


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Posted

if i were writing a book entitled tricks to having and keeping a healthy happy relationship/marriage what would you contribute?

 

im looking for the things that work for YOU that keep your relationship/marriage thriving towards long lasting future and happiness.

 

ie; menatally, physically, sexually,personally etc

Posted

trust and mutual respect; a willingness to be open to learning/doing new things; and a sense of humor.

Posted

A great sense of humor is definitely important.

 

I'm far from being married and my relationship hasn't been going on for that long, and yet, it is so different from all previous relationships that I want to chip in:

 

a genuine desire to make each other happy.

 

generosity

 

an open heart

 

The one thing that is different about this relationship, from all previous one, is that it doesn't feel like either one of us is guarding our heart. Instead of being in a power struggle about who could care less, we keep joking that we're in a competition about who cares the most about the other. (I do, even though he gives me a run for my money :laugh:)

Posted
if i were writing a book entitled tricks to having and keeping a healthy happy relationship/marriage what would you contribute?

 

im looking for the things that work for YOU that keep your relationship/marriage thriving towards long lasting future and happiness.

 

ie; menatally, physically, sexually,personally etc

 

Trust

 

Honor

 

Commitment

 

Communication

 

Freedom

 

Respect

 

Knowing when to choose your battles

 

No loss of self

 

Support eachother in everything

 

Tenderness

 

Making love

 

I mean, it goes on and on.

Posted

given all the obvious stuff, communication is incredibly important...

Posted

Another one I had to learn to work on:

 

Making your partner a priority. (So that if bf says he feels neglected, I don't actually get defensive and argue with him, but rather make more time for him).

Posted

Compromise

 

You can't win every battle, you can't always get what you want, both people have to get enough to keep them happy.

 

Pick your battles

 

Some things are not just not worth fighting about, there is no point in fighting over spending $5, or how to fold the towels, or which way to vacuum the living room, etc......

 

You need alone time

 

You don't need to be with each other 24x7, you don't need to have the exact same hobbies and likes and dislikes, you don't need the same exact friends, you need at least somewhat a life of your own some of the time.

Posted

I think committment is a huge factor in what makes a successful relationship/marriage.

 

Also willingness to admit fault and forgiveness are huge too. You can't be stubborn and pigheaded and expect to have a happy/successful relationship.

Posted
Another one I had to learn to work on:

 

Making your partner a priority. (So that if bf says he feels neglected, I don't actually get defensive and argue with him, but rather make more time for him).

 

Ya know, other than humor, that's a damn good one.

Posted
trust and mutual respect; a willingness to be open to learning/doing new things; and a sense of humor.

 

I agree but what about the HOT sex???:love:

Posted
I agree but what about the HOT sex???:love:

 

Hot Sex? Most husbands are happy with any type of sex as long as it's not infrequent sex.

Posted (edited)

IMO first of all being honest with yourself and knowing what you want in life. When you meet a potential partner be open and honest about your life philosophy, your plans, your wishes.

 

Beyond the theory - also the practical, make as many decisions as possible and know where the other stands before you make a commitment : finance, house-chores, family-plans, hobbies, even your daily habits.

 

Experiment - decide in advance on an experimental period (for us was 6 months on the calendar when he moved in with me), I'm not joking, before and after we had an open discussion with written lists and comments and we reserved a date and time for it !!

 

people can change, circumstances can change - be fair and honest and discuss with your SO before you do something that influences you both and request the same in return, even if this means the end of the relationship - your SO has the right to know.

 

All this works so far for us and I have to say that maybe we are not very romantic or spontaneous (in the standard social terms), but we are still in love, each other's reliable allies, and a great team when we have to get things done.

 

Of course sometimes we disagree, argue or just get annoyed with the other person even being there - but we have established borders we know not to cross.

 

And of course sex... Isn't this the chemical bond in a romantic relationship...?

 

I think this is like 1/2 a book already...:p

Edited by Neutrino
Posted

im looking for the things that work for YOU that keep your relationship/marriage thriving towards long lasting future and happiness.

 

 

My husband and I are into league bowling. We bowl in 3 leagues together each week. Have been doing this for the past 20 years. We go to out of town tournaments together and spend lots of time at home talking about whats going on in our leagues. We also work at the same place (me for 30 years, him for 20 years) lots of togetherness.

Posted

commitment is the biggest for me, also Loyalty.

 

laughing with eachother is as good as therapy.

 

Physical affection/sex.

 

respect for your SO and their goals/dreams.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

For me it's trust, loyalty, respect, communication and tolerance.

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