CarrieT Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 This is just an interesting observation which shouldn't surprise me, but does... As a self-employed, single woman, I have written often how hard it has been for me to meet people and I have admittedly used Craigslist for Casual Encounters. However, getting tired of that, I recently posted an ad in STRICTLY PLATONIC for a weekday golf buddy. Read that again: Strictly Platonic, meaning - No Sex. I just want someone to play golf with during the week. And here are some of the responses I received: I am also married, three kids, etc. I don’t smoke, no facial hair, no tattoos or piercings! My golf game is pretty good – I have a handicap of nine. Please don’t get worried that you might not be “good enough” – I have plenty of patience. I have coached youth sports and could probably help your game. Allow me to discuss possible sex head on: that is not what I am looking for, but if it happens, it happens. I have plenty of women friends with whom I am not sexual, and don’t want to be. But if something clicks, I say stay in the moment and go for it.and Hi, I live nearby Presidio GC but too busy to play unless someone could help me make a commitment to play once a week. I would love to play with you and help you learn golf. Since you mentioned that you are single, I must tell you upfront that I'm married, but I have permission to play outside my marriage - both on a golf course or in the bedroom. WINK! Happy Golfing, Tigerand Hi there!! I am a good golfer who also has gained a bit of weight due to some problems with my achilles tendons.. I am 46.. Single digit handicapper... happy to give instruction... I have taught for pay in the past. Absolutely no pressure, but I can help a beginner a lot. I also find my life revolves around free time during the weekdays morning and afternoons.. Been looking for a golf companion and wanted to ask you if we click on the course might we find it appropriate to play off the course as well?? Hopefully this is enough of an introduction to get you to reply and we go from there.. Sincerely.. Art
crazycatlady Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 That's funny, Carrie, but also really sad. All married, and somehow, I'm really doubtful that one with permission has permission - yes its possible, we are open and H is open to new people about it, but so unlikely. How many out of all your responses went to sex that way? Oh I guess the last isn't married, or didn't say one way or another. CCL
Author CarrieT Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 How many out of all your responses went to sex that way? CCL I had twelve responses and 9 or 10 suggested sex. Some were not only from Men, either. I just want a golf buddy - sex partners I can get...
spriggig Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 ...However, getting tired of that, I recently posted an ad in STRICTLY PLATONIC for a weekday golf buddy. Read that again: Strictly Platonic, meaning - No Sex. I just want someone to play golf with during the week. Which part is more disturbing to you? The fact that these men are married and suggesting sex or the fact that they are suggesting sex in a STRICTLY PLATONIC forum?
Tony T Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I think most of Tiger's golfing buddies started off strictly platonic as well. Tiger is a model for golfers, you know!
White Flower Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 LOL, that is very interesting Carrie! I wonder if there was anything in your OP that suggested any *looking* other than the simple remark that you were single? I wonder if removing that word from your OP would garner different results? It would be interesting to repost it without that word and see what you get.
Hazyhead Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I think most of Tiger's golfing buddies started off strictly platonic as well. Tiger is a model for golfers, you know! Sure! I've never seen a range of women that looked more like golfers (do you reckon that's how he met them all? ) Carrie - maybe these guys are all Tiger, and he's trying lots of different responses in the hope that you'll bite on the end of one
Author CarrieT Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Which part is more disturbing to you? The fact that these men are married and suggesting sex or the fact that they are suggesting sex in a STRICTLY PLATONIC forum? I'm disturbed that even the Strictly Platonic section garners sexual responses. Here was my original ad: I'm a self-employed woman who has suddenly realized that I've gained 20/25 pounds in the past year. Going to the gym alone every day is getting boring and I bought a set of clubs two years ago that have only been used a half-a-dozen times. The self-employment allows me a flexible schedule for weekday (morning or afternoon) rounds of golf. I am mostly a beginner and don't even know how to figure out my handicap and without a golf buddy, the most I've done is head to the range and hit buckets. I've played in Belize, Panama, and a handful of courses around California, but not consistently enough to get good and want that to change this year! I like living in the city without a car so for the time being, I am limiting play to Presidio, Golden Gate, and Lincoln Park, although I'll consider taking a cab to Harding but probably not much further than that for the time being. I am well-educated, erudite and hope for intelligent conversations about anything from world travel to gastronomy, history to art, music to esoterica. I'm not a huge fan of spectator sports, so I'll fall short in that arena. I would prefer it if you did not smoke cigarettes (although, for some reason, I don't mind an occasional cigar on the greens), be willing to put up with a beginner's mistakes, and easy going. I prefer playing with gentlemen as women's banter gets to be really banal and most women my age only want to talk about their children, grandchildren, marriages, or their latest plastic surgery; things I don't relate to. Drop me a line if interested and tell me about yourself. The rains should be stopping soon and maybe we can get in 9 holes to start later this week or early next! I guess even telling them that I am a woman was the wrong way to go... Is there something sexual about my post that I'm not seeing? The fact that I really don't want to play with women, perhaps?
Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 It is craigslist afterall..... I am sure there are plenty of golf forums and places to find partners. But when posting on that website, that is what you are going to get. Maybe try match.com, eharmony or ashleymadison.... Who goes on craigslist to find a golf buddy?
Author CarrieT Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 It is craigslist afterall..... I am sure there are plenty of golf forums and places to find partners. But when posting on that website, that is what you are going to get. Maybe try match.com, eharmony or ashleymadison.... Who goes on craigslist to find a golf buddy? Yeah, silly me. I've actually joined a few Meetup.com golf groups, but most of their events are on the weekends, which I was trying to avoid. But I'll go to something and see if there are others available to play during the week...
White Flower Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I'm disturbed that even the Strictly Platonic section garners sexual responses. Here was my original ad: 'The self-employment allows me a flexible schedule for weekday (morning or afternoon) rounds of golf." I guess even telling them that I am a woman was the wrong way to go... Is there something sexual about my post that I'm not seeing? The fact that I really don't want to play with women, perhaps? Aha! You told them you were 1. Self-employed (secret MM talk for 'I have time to play around). 2. I have a flexible schedule (secret MM talk for I am flexible, lol) I have been on some e-dating sites for a while and I can always read between the lines now. Early morning and afternoon get-togethers always = he is M and wants to play. Sorry Carrie. Oh, and many MM say they are out golfing when they are really out playing around.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Yeah, silly me. I've actually joined a few Meetup.com golf groups, but most of their events are on the weekends, which I was trying to avoid. But I'll go to something and see if there are others available to play during the week... and btw..... all men are pigs..... Wasn't try to be mean in my first post, just thought craigslist is a bad place to search.
jerbear Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I guess even telling them that I am a woman was the wrong way to go... Is there something sexual about my post that I'm not seeing? The fact that I really don't want to play with women, perhaps?From what I've read, it does seem you are looking for something like platonic but people don't read everything.
crazycatlady Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Carrie - I think it was also the dis on women too as well as what White Flower said. Not saying you aren't right, because very few of my friends whom I love to death will talk about things unrelated to marriage, kids, work, etc and few will hit history, religion, politics, books (except the twilight and harry potter oooooo), or anything unrelated to the first topics. I know its CL and all, but that's even more then I expected. I figured slightly over half so around 7 or 8. Dang. Do the local golf clubs have boards looking for people to fill a foursome? CCL
Author CarrieT Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Do the local golf clubs have boards looking for people to fill a foursome? I haven't gotten around to joining any local golf boards. I am already on more than a dozen chat sites right now and was trying to keep THAT sort of activity down...
crazycatlady Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Carrie - I actually meant in person LOL a board at the local golf courses. I don't know if they do that or not anymore. CCL
Jeff1962 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I visit Craig's list when I want a good laugh. Or am looking for an item. Lot's of creepy people. Was'nt there a guy a couple of years ago that used Craig's list to contact women and then murdered them?
spriggig Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Your ad for a golf buddy sounds more like a personal ad because you give so many details. Maybe look at some mens' ads for golf buddies and emulate them. Only mention in passing that you are a woman, stress that it is strictly platonic and leave out things like "I'm well-educated...", "I prefer you didn't smoke...".
Stung Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I think it was the slam on women, specifying looking for male partners, the disdain for marriage/kids as a topic of conversation. Men on the prowl are always looking for 'signals', and to the more provincially minded that translates to professional mistress-speak. Not that they wouldn't try anyway. Obviously our experiences with the sexes are different, as I know plenty of women who converse about a wide array of subjects; my personal areas of interest are history, literature, the biological sciences/modern medicine, comparative religion. Personally I'd open the ad up to either sex and specify you want a PERSON who can discuss/debate intelligently, and see if the number of married man sexytime letters deflate a bit. Good luck.
NoIDidn't Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I prefer playing with gentlemen as women's banter gets to be really banal and most women my age only want to talk about their children, grandchildren, marriages, or their latest plastic surgery; things I don't relate to. I agree with Sprung. That slam on women set you up for men that were looking for sex partners. It set you apart from "regular" women. But I agree with Jeff and TDP, too. CL is full of crazies, and some men ARE pigs. LOL.
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