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Blue balls...whose "fault"?


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Posted

Alright. So getting to know this girl for a couple of months, and we might soon be making things official, but she has some commitment reservations. But she likes me a lot. And she's also a virgin. We have a great relationship hanging out and spending time together.

 

We've admitted to each other that we both really turn each other on. But when things get heated, she stops the train abruptly; as if her body screams yes but her brain says no. I like her a lot and haven't made a big fuss much, but I have mentioned the unfortunate consequences of our engagements (*ahem* blue balls). Her reply has been that I too "can have boundaries," and that it is my fault for engaging in these activities if I don't want to suffer these consequences.

 

First, just as a matter of principle: is it really entirely my fault?

Second, what in your mind is the right thing to do: do I be a "self-respecting man" and draw the boundary to no longer have my balls ache, or do I be kind and wait it out? Keep in mind she is a virgin...

Thirdly, if you were me (and of course you're not, haha trite response okay get over it), what would you do? I like her a lot and it would suck to walk away but it can get frustrating...not sure how to move on it. Keep being nice and waiting for her move? Because being pushy I think is the last thing I want to be with someone like this right?

 

Thanks, sorry it's wordy...

Posted

It's no one's fault, that's just silly and immature.

 

 

If sexual activity is out of the question for right now, then personally I'd stick to just making out and cuddling type stuff.

 

Okay it could be her fault if she's getting extra touchy through your clothes and basically being a tease on purpose, but if that's the case tell her to cut it out.

Posted

yeah tell her to cut it out when she is turning you on too much

Obviously its not her fault she has no idea

This is all new to her (virgin) not her fault

And the added bonus

by making her stop she will want you that much more (it will drive her insane)

Consequence you will get laid

Posted

Dump her and stop dating virgins.

Posted (edited)

Let her know that you want to have sex with her because it is normal and natural thing to do with females. Why don't you have sex with her?

Also, let her know that you have the blue balls. She might have no idea what it is.

 

How many hrs do you do making out? If I were you, I would limited making out down to 4-5 hrs. Then, she would leave me alone and I would mastabate right away, so I guess I would not get any blue balls.

Also, I would mastabate several times per day (5-6).

Edited by bac
Posted

She is a virgin, for Christ's sake.

 

EXPECTING her to give it up to you just because you are blue balls IS expecting too much. And if you don't want blue balls, than don't even start those activities that bring you to that edge.

Posted

:laugh: this is funny... first.. she has no clue what 'blue balls' means.. she doesn't have a set of those.. plus she has no sexual experience.. methink she doesn't give a 'hoola' about your blue jewels..

 

Just masterbate more often.. it will take care of itself..

 

If I were you.. I would just dump her and get a girl who is very sexual. :rolleyes:

Posted

You know, as a woman when I get that turned on and it doesn't lead to an orgasm, I feel a dull ache in my lower gut, mild nausea and become restless. I don't complain about it though.

 

Perhaps "blue balls" has nothing to do with having testicles? The "blue balls" guilt trip is ridiculous. You don't always get what you want and that is life. Besides, sex will be more enjoyable when both people are happy to be having sex.

Posted

what about oral sex or a tittie-****?

Or at the least a hand-job.

 

baby steps.

 

Also, what are you doing for her?

Or does she stop you before her panties come off?

Posted

why are you two engaging in sexual activities? I think you two need a talk first. What does she want and what do you want.

 

I recently was involved with the guy and could not sleep with him due to not being on birth control. I had to wait a couple of months before i could get my body ready. However, the guy initiated physical contact every time i saw him. He had "blue balls" because he didn't have the balls to ask me when I would be ready. I thought this was a sign of him just wanting sex and it was a turn off. If he really wanted a mature relationship he would have asked...but like my instincts were telling me all along he didn't want to be committed. SO i dumped him.

 

Girls like sex but its not the only thing to consider before sleeping with someone.

 

It sounds like you are giving the vibe that you only want sex to this girl so she is not having sex with you.

 

Maybe you should take a step back and do more functional things...like go for a hike and show her you are interested in not only her body but her mind and soul as well.

 

IN the beginning of the relationship its when the girl is determining if you are the guy you say you are. She is just assessing you probably and seeing how you are going to treat her.

 

For now if i were you, I would do less physical things and more activities to create a better connection.

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