ashleigh422 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I hate the fact that women have to act not interested in a man to get him thinking about her more. I am not the submissive type and hate to play games... how can I cope with this? The guy from my past who I have reunited with (last night) is shy and unsure what he wants.. can I text him a sexy message to let him know I am thinking about him? Which brings me to something else.. he says he isn't sure that he wants a LTR.. but I do.. his whole lifestyle screams that he wants a stable relationship.. should I play along with casual in hopes he eventually wants more?
Author ashleigh422 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 serously.. no one has even a little advice?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Leave him alone if he's uncertain about a LTR. You might think you have the ability to change his mind, but you're going to be enormously disappointed if he doesn't change his mind. The thing is, I'm certain he knows you're interested. But then again, a guy who is interested in you the same way wouldn't mind making a move.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Leave him alone if he's uncertain about a LTR. You might think you have the ability to change his mind, but you're going to be enormously disappointed if he doesn't change his mind. The thing is, I'm certain he knows you're interested. But then again, a guy who is interested in you the same way wouldn't mind making a move. I agree. This guy doesn't sound like he is looking for LTR relationship right now. I don't think playing "games" will help your situation.
seibert253 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Maybe it's me, but I don't understand this gameplaying thing. Pretty simple; you like or are attracted to someone, tell them. If they feel the same, you'll know instantly. Same if they don't feel that way. A great way to be upfront, honest, and not waste a whole lot of time.
BobSacamento Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Maybe it's me, but I don't understand this gameplaying thing. Pretty simple; you like or are attracted to someone, tell them. If they feel the same, you'll know instantly. Same if they don't feel that way. A great way to be upfront, honest, and not waste a whole lot of time. Why not just take all the fun out of it. What's next test tube babies?
Lovelybird Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Don't do that ! it is a very BAD idea ! you call it "game play", while other may call it "wise, and patience" if you are too aggressive, you are going to get guys who aren't interested in you", which is a pain in the end
calizaggy Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 (edited) Which brings me to something else.. he says he isn't sure that he wants a LTR.. but I do.. his whole lifestyle screams that he wants a stable relationship.. should I play along with casual in hopes he eventually wants more? He isn't sure of he wants a realtionship WITH YOU. Sending him sexy messages won't change his mind. Edited March 14, 2010 by calizaggy
Lovelybird Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Sending him sexual message is really "game playing" in my opinion, kind of manipulating him through sex, don't you think so? Men won't want to form a real relationship with a woman just because she is hot in bed, or seductive
tkgirl Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I hate the fact that women have to act not interested in a man to get him thinking about her more. I am not the submissive type and hate to play games... how can I cope with this? The guy from my past who I have reunited with (last night) is shy and unsure what he wants.. can I text him a sexy message to let him know I am thinking about him? Which brings me to something else.. he says he isn't sure that he wants a LTR.. but I do.. his whole lifestyle screams that he wants a stable relationship.. should I play along with casual in hopes he eventually wants more? I've been where you're at... playing games is NOT the way to go. And with the "shy" ones you may feel like you have to be the more aggresive one, but this usually backfires. If he is really interested, he should pursue you more and at least meet you half way. If he doesn't, he's not the guy for you... next!
Kristine Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Men love the chase, is why we play "the game". If you give in too early, they lose interest. I found that out with the guy I actually liked, he lost interest, and he broke up with me. So I figure I wasn't being chased enough. Now if I ever like a guy again I'm going to play it like I don't as far as attention and I love you's go because it drug in husband #2, who I didn't like. I recall him asking me "so are we exclusive yet" and I responded with "I guess" so be indifferent must work on some level. Husband #2 was a supposedly "nice guy" but I didn't like him and he ended up physically abusing my son so there's a gut reaction for a reason. Anyway, I liked this other guy who was Mr. Romantic and not such a nice guy, but I loved him too much I guess. As for your guy, he's not interested in a LDR he's unlikely to change his mind. If he were truly interested he'd make it work, go to the ends of the earth for you for example or at least say he was going to. I haven't found that guy yet either. But according to the author if he's just not that into you that guy exists.
Barky Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Men love the chase Oh goody, another blanket statement that's wrong as often as it's right. Yes "All men" love exactly the same thing. Just as "All women" love the color pink.
Author ashleigh422 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 All right.. well I didn't text him and decided that I wil not.. I thought about it last night and you all are right.. if he's into me.. then I am worth him trying to get.. I'm a great catch regardless if he wants me or not.. so im not gonna sit around trying to get him to be more into me.. if he is he is.. period.
Woggle Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Men have to play games with women as well. The days of meeting somebody and letting something grow in a natural and honest way are pretty much a thing of the past. It's sad but true.
tkgirl Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 All right.. well I didn't text him and decided that I wil not.. I thought about it last night and you all are right.. if he's into me.. then I am worth him trying to get.. I'm a great catch regardless if he wants me or not.. so im not gonna sit around trying to get him to be more into me.. if he is he is.. period. good for you! I think it's ok to show a guy we are interested... if we can do it without being overly aggressive.. that comes off as too desperate. It's a fine line sometimes though. So yeah, let him meet you half way... it doesn't mean he's not interested if he's not wildly pursuing you... guys have fears too... but if he doesn't seem interested enough that's when you cut your losses and move on.
Barky Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 It's sad but true. Nothing sad about it, IMHO. If you're a good game-player, that is
tkgirl Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Nothing sad about it, IMHO. If you're a good game-player, that is I think if you can accept the game part of it, and have fun with it, it can be ok. It does get old after a while though... I like to know the guy I'm with is as into me as I am him... otherwise it feels a little superficial, like what's the point? you know, IMHO!
ADF Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 A man who goes out of his way to spend time with you but says he isn't "ready" for a LTR is almost always trying to maneuver you into some kind of FWB situation. Remember that for many men, a LTR is not the ideal situation. For men, FWB is the ideal situation. In FWB, a man gets all the benefits of a LTR, but with no strings--the ultimate win/win situation for him. Once, you're in a FWB situation with a man, the chances the relationship will develop further are almost zero. He won't let it. And why would he? He's already getting everything he wants--for free!
sally4sara Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I hate the fact that women have to act not interested in a man to get him thinking about her more. I am not the submissive type and hate to play games... how can I cope with this? The guy from my past who I have reunited with (last night) is shy and unsure what he wants.. can I text him a sexy message to let him know I am thinking about him? Which brings me to something else.. he says he isn't sure that he wants a LTR.. but I do.. his whole lifestyle screams that he wants a stable relationship.. should I play along with casual in hopes he eventually wants more? Please, if you send him a sexy text, do not include a pic. It just screams trashy and foolish. You don't know what a person will do with that pic or if it will get you what you want so don't sell yourself so cheap. He isn't the only guy out there either, so there is no need to try twisting arms for what you want.
Lovelybird Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Take his words seriously, if he said he isn't ready for a relationship, he IS NOT ready. Woman who wants to change him into loving her will end up putting out sexually more than necessary, and get hurt badly. Woman and man are different, especially in the sex department, don't deny that. and certainly treat your sexuality as something can easily give out only after 3 dates is definitely NOT wise.
St. Nick Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Why is everybody assuming that "men love the chase", and that guys lose interest in a woman who is easy? I've always been way more interested in women who have sex quick than women who want to make me wait, chase, play games, and other bs.
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I hate the fact that women have to act not interested in a man to get him thinking about her more. I don't know where women get these ridiculous ideas, but it does not work like that, take my word for it. Obviously, you need to act with dignity to avoid coming across as "desperate", but playing dating games in akin to playing in the casino....your odds of winning are not very good. Most normal, well-adjusted men know to stay clear from game players. Women who are into playing games are manipulative (by definition) and also tend to be gold diggers, narcissists and cheaters....who wants a prize like that?? Only a guy who is into playing games himself ("pump 'n dump") or someone who is totally desperate.
Lovelybird Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) Why is everybody assuming that "men love the chase", and that guys lose interest in a woman who is easy? I've always been way more interested in women who have sex quick than women who want to make me wait, chase, play games, and other bs. You mean you love a woman who is easy and want to marry her and be your children's mother because she put out sex quicker, and who might do the same thing with other men? or you like her as a FWB? or you believe she only does this quick sex with you not with other men because you are so charming that she just cannot resist? Edited March 15, 2010 by Lovelybird
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 You mean you love a woman who is easy and want to marry her because she put out sex quicker, and who might do the same thing with other men? Just because a girl is not into playing games does not mean she is easy. An easy girl is someone who has low standards and would sleep with anybody. Even if she forces these guys to play the chase game first, she is still easy. Conversely, a girl who does not go for "any swinging dick" but has no hangups about having sex with the guys she likes is not easy. And you can bet money that the latter girl would get more respect from men than the former. There are two types of women who play games: the manipulative type (self-explanatory) and the insecure type (women who have low self-esteem and are constantly worried about what men would think about them).
Lovelybird Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Just because a girl is not into playing games does not mean she is easy. An easy girl is someone who has low standards and would sleep with anybody. Even if she forces these guys to play the chase game first, she is still easy. Conversely, a girl who does not go for "any swinging dick" but has no hangups about having sex with the guys she likes is not easy. And you can bet money that the latter girl would get more respect from men than the former. There are two types of women who play games: the manipulative type (self-explanatory) and the insecure type (women who have low self-esteem and are constantly worried about what men would think about them). Patiently waiting and being cautious is not playing game. As for those women who dive into a relationship without knowing the man well, it is probably good for them to control themselves a bit, check their emotions
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