St. Nick Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Must be humiliating when it's the older woman that is turned-off by the younger guy.. Not really, because I know that she's not going to have many more proposals from men, especially younger men, in the future. The older a woman gets, the less chances she gets with men. That's why so many cougars I meet in the bar are so forceful; she knows her chances are miniscule. actually older women are in general much better in the sack. Not from my experience. Really. Sex with older women can be real boring. I wouldn't necessarily say that older single women have their stuff together compared to younger girls. Sure, they have more life experience, but that cuts both ways. Such women usually come with their own set of problems (emotional baggage from failed marriages, kids, etc.) Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I was only thinking about the good parts. You're right. A lot of older women can have big issues. I've never had anything bad go down, but I've heard scary stories from some young cats I know getting on the wrong side of an older chick. Yikes.
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 maybe i'll start dating the 60+ set Go for it! Imagine how good in the sack they must be with over four decades of experience
Author tkgirl Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 oh wow.. this thread has gotten out of control! Some of the last few responses have gotten pretty ridiculous too... they don't even dignify a response... like the whole age preference thing. Who frickin' cares? to each their own... I started this whole thing because I was worried I was becoming some sort of cougar... then after reading some of your responses I realized that I am not, since I currently am not with a younger guy. But if I do decide to go for someone a little younger than me, it won't be just for a fling... it will be because we really connect...and not just sexually. BTW for the record... I'm not easy or desperate! geez people....
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 oh wow.. this thread has gotten out of control! Some of the last few responses have gotten pretty ridiculous too... they don't even dignify a response... like the whole age preference thing. Who frickin' cares? to each their own... I started this whole thing because I was worried I was becoming some sort of cougar... then after reading some of your responses I realized that I am not, since I currently am not with a younger guy. But if I do decide to go for someone a little younger than me, it won't be just for a fling... it will be because we really connect...and not just sexually. BTW for the record... I'm not easy or desperate! geez people.... No one said that you were easy or desperate. We are talking specifically about cougars, not older women in general. You see, all cougars are older women but not all older women are cougars.
St. Nick Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 But if I do decide to go for someone a little younger than me, it won't be just for a fling... it will be because we really connect...and not just sexually. BTW for the record... I'm not easy or desperate! geez people.... Depending on how much younger than you, it's unlikely that you'll meet a dude who wants anything more than a fling. Just trying to give you a bit of reality..........something most women fear like the plague.
Author tkgirl Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Depending on how much younger than you, it's unlikely that you'll meet a dude who wants anything more than a fling. Just trying to give you a bit of reality..........something most women fear like the plague. thanks for enlightening me I get that these much younger guys that hit on me are just looking for a good time... and while a part of me does consider just using them for fun too, I know that's not really me. I want to be in a real relationship and no, I'm not that delusional to think I can have one with a guy like say... the 30 year old that seems to want me now. I honestly don't even want to...
Alma Mobley Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 How much younger are we talking about, tkgirl?
lookin2wardthefuture Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm currently dating a guy 12 years my junior. It did start out as a fling, but has turned into a fun and friendly relationship. He's someone I plan on being friends with on down the road no matter how the romance goes. Most of the guys out there my age want younger women, or they're totally desparate to settle down AGAIN! I just got out of a 20 year relationship, and I'm not lookin to get married again. It blows my mind that everytime I go out, I'm attracting hotter looking men than I ever did when I was younger. They do believe that the sex is much better than with most younger women. Let's face it ladies, if you've been riding the same old horse the same old way for years, it's nice to saddle up on a new pony that'll take you for a totally new ride!!!!!;) I say let them approach you but give it a try or two. At this point in my life, I'm lovin it!!!!!
desertmoon Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 A cougar is a woman in her 40's(or maybe late 30's) who is single, attractive,successful and does not need a man for her subsistence. If you are missing any one of that, you are not a cougar. I do not really understand why some men here believe that cougars are "cheap and easy". I have yet to hear anyone call a man who are all of the above "cheap and easy", why is that?
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 A cougar is a woman in her 40's(or maybe late 30's) who is single, attractive,successful and does not need a man for her subsistence. Umm, no. A cougar is a woman who is 35+ and dates guys considerably younger than herself. She does not have to be attractive or successful....even the single part is optional. It's hardly a flattering term.
sumdude Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Today I had lunch with an ex who is still a good friend and we were talking about this subject. She's 40 and has been dating a 24 year old guy for a month or two. It's just not working for her. There are issues besides his age but she said it just didn't feel right and his immaturity is annoying. Little things like his mom's reaction to it.. the fact that he even told his mom that she was 32 rather than 40. All sorts of things that make it uncomfortable for her.
desertmoon Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Umm, no. A cougar is a woman who is 35+ and dates guys considerably younger than herself. She does not have to be attractive or successful....even the single part is optional. It's hardly a flattering term. I guess that is the kind of "cougar" definition you want to embrace as cougars do not find men over 30 attractive-they prefer their men still with hair! Show me a famous cougar who is not "single , attractive and financially independent"? I stand by my definition. All others are just posers and the men who think they are cougars are insecure men who detest real cougars because they are playing their "game" well-or better. Don't get me wrong,it is certainly not the kind of lifestyle that I would emulate ( as I am inept when it comes to the opposite sex-younger or older ).
Ruby Slippers Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I know what you mean though--it seems like more young men go for me, and handsomer ones than I'd ever have dreamed I could get, but like you, I want a real relationship, so I flirt with them for ego's sake, but don't date them. I'm 33, and when I turned 30, I started to notice that I was getting hit on by the most gorgeous, sex bomb men around the age of 21. It was obvious to me they were after sex, but they were also so sweet and unjaded, it was very tempting to have some fun with them. This sexy as hell 24-year-old acquaintance is after me now, and so far I'm resisting, but man, it's hard to say no. I think that if an older woman is looking for hot sex with a hot guy and nothing more, a young stud is the perfect choice -- everybody wins.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 thanks for enlightening me tkgirl, I have a female acquaintance who is 42, has been married to her 29-year-old husband for several years, and has had two kids with him. He is SEXY and seems to be totally devoted to her and their family. It's a long shot, but it can happen.
Marek Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Oh cry me a river, tkgirl . You should be at least grateful with the knowledge that if you ever get real lonely and just want some no-strings-attached fun, you got a bunch of vervacious, eager young men to provide you with some "company". I, on the other hand, only have jail-bait teeny-boopers interested. The last girl I bedded and was of legal age was over 12 months ago. Ponder this: Imagine having no-one of the opposite sex even flirtatiously touch your arm in over 12 months! So, while you're whining, "Oh, I can't find guys my own age! All the young guys want is sex...," have a thought for the guys that are going through a SEVERE drought!
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 A cougar is a woman in her 40's(or maybe late 30's) who is single, attractive,successful and does not need a man for her subsistence. Well that's certainly a novel "definition" of cougar. LOL Urbandictionary has this one as it's number-one definition: "An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her **** together." I think you'll find the quintessence of cougars is their relationship with younger men. It's that relationship that defines a cougar. I like your made-up definition though! Probably a lot of 40-something women who would agree with it.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I stand by my definition. All others are just posers and the men who think they are cougars are insecure men who detest real cougars because they are playing their "game" well-or better.. This is an example of why a person should pay little heed to the advice given on LS.org. This poster has swept aside the real definition of the term and has made up one completely different and incorrect just because it appeases her ego. I'm surprised she didn't just say, "The definition of 'cougar' is a woman who is AWESOME! And guess what, I'm a cougar!"
Marek Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Tneforireyeh, do you sleep around with many younger guys?
Author tkgirl Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 A cougar is a woman in her 40's(or maybe late 30's) who is single, attractive,successful and does not need a man for her subsistence. If you are missing any one of that, you are not a cougar. I do not really understand why some men here believe that cougars are "cheap and easy". I have yet to hear anyone call a man who are all of the above "cheap and easy", why is that? Umm, no. A cougar is a woman who is 35+ and dates guys considerably younger than herself. She does not have to be attractive or successful....even the single part is optional. It's hardly a flattering term. Well that's certainly a novel "definition" of cougar. LOL Urbandictionary has this one as it's number-one definition: "An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her **** together." I think you'll find the quintessence of cougars is their relationship with younger men. It's that relationship that defines a cougar. I like your made-up definition though! Probably a lot of 40-something women who would agree with it. This is an example of why a person should pay little heed to the advice given on LS.org. This poster has swept aside the real definition of the term and has made up one completely different and incorrect just because it appeases her ego. I'm surprised she didn't just say, "The definition of 'cougar' is a woman who is AWESOME! And guess what, I'm a cougar!" I like the last one the best! anyho... this thread has been so educational for me... really! But back to my opening post.. I originally thought I might be a cougar because I am in my 40's... independant, confident and feel pretty damn sexy still! and most of the guys that have shown interest in me in the past 10 or so years have all been younger... some I "hooked up" with for a little fun, some I even dated for a while... others didn't get so lucky! And while some younger guys can be hot, now I want a real relationship and don't want to settle for being someone's "cougar"... which is what this 30 yo dude called me the other day. To me it's not a flattering term and does not describe me at all... since I'm not chasing younger guys around, they chase me!
pyroguy Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm 33, and when I turned 30, I started to notice that I was getting hit on by the most gorgeous, sex bomb men around the age of 21. It was obvious to me they were after sex, but they were also so sweet and unjaded, it was very tempting to have some fun with them. This sexy as hell 24-year-old acquaintance is after me now, and so far I'm resisting, but man, it's hard to say no. I think that if an older woman is looking for hot sex with a hot guy and nothing more, a young stud is the perfect choice -- everybody wins. And this is why she will not get a guy around her age. She probably sends out the vibe that so many of you women speak of. You women have so little sexual respect for a man who hits 40. Why does the hot sex have to be with the young guy? Why are all 40 year-old men portrayed as the lawn mowing dolt who is only good for a paycheck? Did I miss the memo? I still workout the same, and don't look much different that I did when I was in my late twenties-at 42. I know many of these guys are a mess, but certianly not all, and as for the sex. I definitely know more now than I did in my early twenties. So, of course men your age will not be interested. Just look at the (unintended) ridicule any older guy gets right in this very thread. It's your right to feel that way, but no older guy will be interested when they are told how much greater younger men are and how great cougarism is.
Lizzie60 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I think, bottom line.. it's all about ego.. it's extremely flattering to be hit by a much younger man... especially when he 'runs' after you... when he's persistant.. when he's amazingly attractive... I've been with many many many younger men... they aren't the best in the sack.. they have a lot of stamina.. that's for sure.. but they need the experience.. IMO... but I have to say that they're willing to learn.. My best lovers were from 37 to 45... these are the best IMO (for MY experience).. they didn't need the 'instructions'..
Author tkgirl Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 And this is why she will not get a guy around her age. She probably sends out the vibe that so many of you women speak of. You women have so little sexual respect for a man who hits 40. Why does the hot sex have to be with the young guy? Why are all 40 year-old men portrayed as the lawn mowing dolt who is only good for a paycheck? Did I miss the memo? I still workout the same, and don't look much different that I did when I was in my late twenties-at 42. I know many of these guys are a mess, but certianly not all, and as for the sex. I definitely know more now than I did in my early twenties. So, of course men your age will not be interested. Just look at the (unintended) ridicule any older guy gets right in this very thread. It's your right to feel that way, but no older guy will be interested when they are told how much greater younger men are and how great cougarism is. I'm not sure this comment was really aimed at me... but just in case, I never said I didn't want to be with a guy my own age. In fact, I said the opposite, that I DO want to be with someone closer to my own age... that I'm tired of attracting only younger guys that just seem to want a good time with an older sexy broad like myself! Seriously though, I'm realizing there's some changes I need to make in myself in order to attract a good older guy that wants to be with me too... just not sure how. THAT is what prompted me to start this thread!
Ruby Slippers Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 You women have so little sexual respect for a man who hits 40. Why does the hot sex have to be with the young guy? I'm 33, and my ideal for a relationship would be a man older than me by a few years or so. I have only ever dated men my age or older. The last guy I dated was 39. He told me early on that his sex drive had diminished somewhat with age, and that was quite a turn-off for me, as my sex drive is high and I enjoy having sex often. Younger sex partners generally have different qualities than sex partners of the same age. In general, younger men have amazing stamina, are often in prime physical condition, are more open-minded sexually (not set in their ways), have an attitude more of fun and lightness, are more expressive of their desire and pleasure, and are usually very sweet and respectful. So, in general, it makes for a hotter experience -- for SEX ONLY. I have never had sex with a man over 40, so I can't really comment on the difference.
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