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Would you turn back time and not be with your ex in the first place?

OOReeee

By OOReeee
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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OOReeee Established Member

OOReeee

Posted
Posted

Fellow LoveShackers,

 

Hope your weekend is going swell.

As part as my everlasting healing process I am now at a point where I am thinking philosophically... kinda.

And I was thinking to myself, being dumped made me so miserable and depressed, that it exceeded the good emotions I had while I was with her.

 

I was wondering if you ever think about it,

If you had a time machine and could go back and change it, knowing how hurt you will be, would you not have dated your ex?

 

I am interested to hear from you.

myhearthurtsbadly Established Member

myhearthurtsbadly

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most definitly yes. I know people say that all experiences help etc no matter how bad. This girl (who has just broken up with me again) has damaged me beyond repair. I dont think il ever be the same again. I no longer know how to be happy because of her. Im pretty angry and depressed as you can probably tell.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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I would choose to see & recognize red flags IMMEDIATELY... so I wouldn't be in the situation I WAS in.. am in now... and would've been in if I chosen the other path...

 

I set myself up for the hurt... in a way.

 

The girl I was seeing used me as her rebound... for 4.5 months I was nothing more than a comfort... a safety net... and a lie. Our relationship... was false. I was onthing more than her toyfriend...

spriggig Established Member

spriggig

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If I could go back in time and make changes? Of course.

 

If I could only choose to take the same path or avoid it? Avoid it.

Rearden Metal Established Member

Rearden Metal

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Right now I'd say yes, I'd rather delete her from ever happening to me. But then, right now I feel like that about most of my life.

Ilovecake Established Member

Ilovecake

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If I were to weigh the good parts of the relationship against the bad I would say yes I would turn back time and not be with my ex. Besides the things I forgave during our relationship I have also found out of many other betrayals since breaking up. He is not the person I thought he was. I haven't really taken anything out of our time together that has benefited my life.

Kristine Established Member

Kristine

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This recent ex, I would still date him. I enjoyed the experience and had never been treated the way this guy treated me. He was Mr. Romance, also flighty and a drama king, but I loved the romance part of the relationship and well for me it was worth it.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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If I could turn back time, I'd do everything exactly the same. Every memory I had with her, I'd relive exactly the same way. Every mistake I made, I'd make again. I wouldn't be where I am today without those experiences I had with her and after her. My only regret is that I had to lose her to get those experiences...

unsaved Established Member

unsaved

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This question is always so interesting to me because there are days where I really wish certain relationships never existed, but other days where I see the value of learning through experience and stuff like that.

 

It reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. (SUCH a great movie to watch, btw). We want to erase our memories of these individuals but at the same time, we had good experiences with these people too and they really are a part of who we are and always will be. Good relationship or bad, they help us learn and grow for the better. It's hard for me to see that right now, but later I will appreciate that more.

 

Honestly, I think I NEEDED to go through some of these breakups in my life. Otherwise, I probably would have no understanding of what I really wanted (or DIDN'T want) for myself in a person. Sort of like a trial and error type thing. Of course, I only realize this stuff after the fact. Cuz right now, I really hate the fact that I have been broken up with and would do anything to go back and have this relationship not exist. Or, maybe it's just that I wish the breakup part never happened. I dunno. I miss him. :( Oh well.

lunar_rabbit Member

lunar_rabbit

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My initial reaction was "Hell yes!", but...if I hadn't gone through two years of being rejected and ignored time after time, made to feel not good enough and all the rest of it, I don't think I'd be anywhere near as tough as I am now. The new me isn't so bad, she doesn't take crap from anyone anymore. But I still could have done without all the hurt it took to get me there... :/

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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No Way, No How!! Without my exes, I wouldn't now be with my husband who's a wonderful man, since one or more changes in history, would have wiped him out of my present! :bunny:

LovelyDaze Established Member

LovelyDaze

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No. I would still be with all of my exes.

 

Just yesterday at work, I thought about how each and every relationship that went wrong lead to better knowledge on what to do and/or expect in the next.

 

The ex that dumped me for another in October broke me pretty bad (enough to join LS :o) but I have rejoined the dating world and am able to really get over the dates that haven't worked out. My recent date turned out to be a "player" without wanting to TELL me...he decided to cover up and lie instead of just letting it be known he wants to date around. Ridiculous. I just stopped seeing him altogether.

 

You have to treasure the lessons you learn from romantic failures because when you DO find someone special, you will have the others to compare that person to and feel ever so grateful that you found real love.

Brightmoon Established Member

Brightmoon

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If I could go back to the point where it made all the difference, I would choose never to have got involved. Without a doubt.

Tasha1675 Member

Tasha1675

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I wouldn't have changed a thing, I am by no means perfect and I accept that there are things in the relationship that I could have done differently but I was just reacting to my ex's behaviour and the situation at the time. I certainly wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't met him, and broken up with him so I am thankful that he came into my life. I am sad that he isn't in my life any more but it has to be this way for us to be doing what we both want and at the moment we both want very different things.

thehypemachine Member

thehypemachine

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No. If I could change somethings about what happened between us, I would. There's things that certainly could have been changed that would make everything a lot better now, even go as far as to say we'd still be together. But there's no way I'd take away all the good things that have happened between us, even though they suck at the moment, I know one day I'll be so thankful for having shared that time with her.

justaguy123 Established Member

justaguy123

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No, I would not go back and change my decision to go out with my ex. She was my first love and she taught me how to love. I had an amazing relationship with her and I have all of my fantastic memories of us together and would never want those to go away. Even though I am hurting now because she dumped me I still think that our relationship and friendship was the best thing to ever happen to me.

 

I think that all experiences can be good, you just have to find what you have gained from them and find something that makes you stronger than you were before that experience.

Weird Established Member

Weird

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Hell yes.

 

I am not a big "memory" guy meaning I don't sit there and try and look back at past good times since they don't make my current life better....this isn't just relationship wise but life in general.

 

Knowing that, I see no reason why I would not want to go back in time and make it never happen especially since it'd have canceled out all the crap I have dealt with concerning her the last 3.2 million years with her contacting me on a yearly basis, me buying into it being more than her going for the ego boost, feelings being brought back up, ending communication and then the cycle repeating.

 

If I hadn't been such a silly bitch all these years thinking the person I was showing care to actually well, cared then I am sure my opinion would be different but as it is, just get it all out of my head.

soleharmony1123 Established Member

soleharmony1123

Posted
Posted (edited)
Fellow LoveShackers,

 

Hope your weekend is going swell.

As part as my everlasting healing process I am now at a point where I am thinking philosophically... kinda.

And I was thinking to myself, being dumped made me so miserable and depressed, that it exceeded the good emotions I had while I was with her.

 

I was wondering if you ever think about it,

If you had a time machine and could go back and change it, knowing how hurt you will be, would you not have dated your ex?

 

I am interested to hear from you.

 

 

 

If I could, I would, in a heartbeat, turn back time and go back to being absolutely nothing but friends with my ex. Since I've had a preview of what kind of "friend" he really turned out to be, I would probably not even go back to being his friend. But maybe it's just all the hurt and anger speaking right now.:confused:

Edited by soleharmony1123
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Established Member

Da_1_n_OnlyN3na

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Posted

hate to say it like this but heeeellll fucin yeahhh!!!!.. lol i would give anything to go back in time and not dated my ex. that 3 year relationship was a waste of 3 years!!! who knows i could have ben with the love of my life right now but nooooo i wasted 3 years on the pce of shyt!! and what did i get at the end? NOTHING!!!! a broken heart, anger issues, jealousy/ trust issues all for nothing. ugh!! all that crying all that fighting and finding out about numerous girls he had while he was with me.ugh i really wish i could go back in time. but since i cant anymore i will start fresh from this point and pretend he was never in my life PERIOD! :)

brokenH Member

brokenH

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Posted

no i wouldnt because my ex was my first gf. i learned what i didnt want from a girl and how grow to find find a even better girl. i loved someone that didnt love me back for 7 yrs. i went thru alot of heart ache and stress dealing with her lies and her endless mind games. one thing i wouldve of done was probably end the relationship earlier then to let linger on for so long. the longer it kept going the harder it is for me to move on. 7 yrs is a lot to forget but i gotta move on and learn from my experiences.

Pfiend101 Established Member

Pfiend101

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No. The road head was nice. But her issues and constant partying I could have lived without. Plus all the talking she did with her ex's.

angelaM Established Member

angelaM

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Today I would give anything to have never met him. Odd, since I still love him with all my heart, but it just wasn't worth the pain. We're supposed to talk this weekend and I have no idea what to say. I want to tell him I wish we'd never met. I know that's the anger talking, and may not hold true someday, but right now, I hate him as much as I still love him, maybe more, and today, I want to tell him that.

mrkleen Established Member

mrkleen

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Hate quoting songs....especially Garth Brooks :rolleyes:, but this fits perfectly.

 

Holding you I held everything

For a moment wasn't I a king

But if I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

 

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance

 

Yes my life is better left to chance

I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

SlowHealer Member

SlowHealer

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I would not have chosen to date my current ex. This is the first one I would say this about(of about 5).

 

I did learn something though, as we did go to counseling together. "Beware of those who grow shallow roots". It is the truth.

 

Don't ignore redflags. They will resurface and one will feel like a fool.

HLP234 Established Member

HLP234

Posted
Posted

After all the pain I've been through, yes I wish we had never met. They say things happen for a reason, but who knows that goes for meeting them as well as the break up I suppose.

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