aroma Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 (edited) I'm 35 years old and I've been married for 4 years. Before marriage, both husband and I agreed that we wanted to have kids eventually. First year of marriage I kept asking my husband for a kid but he would say that it was too premature because he wanted to spend more time just the two of us and also to further his studies and career. The second year I thought about it carefully and decided kids were not for me. I told him about my change of heart and although he was shocked, he said he respected my decision and that he wasn't sure anymore what he wanted. I said no problem, think about it carefully and let me know your decision sooner rather than later. Well, it's been 2 years now and husband still is undecided about the kid issue! He says he is being very honest when he says he just doesn't know. I have a hard time believing him.... My question is: is it really possible for a 33 year old married man to not know where he stands on the kid issue?? Can a man really go on for years without making a decision on this? Or he DOES know but doesn't want to tell me and is taking me for a fool? Help, this is causing tension in our marriage. Edited March 13, 2010 by aroma
Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I'm 35 years old and I've been married for 4 years. Before marriage, both husband and I agreed that we wanted to have kids eventually. First year of marriage I kept asking my husband for a kid but he would say that it was too premature because he wanted to spend more time just the two of us and also to further his studies and career. The second year I thought about it carefully and decided kids were not for me. I told him about my change of heart and although he was shocked, he said he respected my decision and that he wasn't sure anymore what he wanted. I said no problem, think about it carefully and let me know your decision sooner rather than later. Well, it's been 2 years now and husband still is undecided about the kid issue! He says he is being very honest when he says he just doesn't know. I have a hard time believing him.... My question is: is it really possible for a 33 year old married man to not know where he stands on the kid issue?? Can a man really go on for years without making a decision on this? Or he DOES know but doesn't want to tell me and is taking me for a fool? Help, this is causing tension in our marriage. If that is the case, why the tension? Once he decides, and if it is to have children he will leave. Seems pretty simple as you are the one who would bare(sp?) them. As of now, he doesn't know, so why are you upset? If you know for sure you don't want them and want someone 100% of the same mind, go find a 50+ year old who for sure won't change his mind.
Neutrino Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Did you ever talk about who would be the primary care-taker of possible future offspring ? The process of pregnancy and child birth is not really up to a choice between the partners - unless you choose for a surrogate pregnancy. Maybe he's giving you the right-of-way on that decision and whatever you decide is OK with him - this should be an advantage to you. And IMO - yes - it is perfectly possible for any human being to either not know something for sure, or change their minds, or simply be undecided.
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